How to Make Your Man Happy, Emotionally and Sexually, in a Relationship

Co-authored by Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Last Updated: July 28, 2022 References Approved

It's not always easy to make your man happy emotionally and sexually in a relationship. To make your man happy emotionally, you have to be attentive to his needs and to know when to give him space. To make your man happy sexually, you have to want to try new things and to be bold and adventurous. But the most important part is that you are feeling happy while you're pleasing your man. If you want to know how to make your man happy emotionally and sexually in a relationship, just follow these steps.

This article is based on an interview with our licensed relationship therapist, Alysha Jeney, owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the co-founder of The Modern Love Box. Check out the full interview here.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Make Your Man Happy Emotionally

1
Get to know your man's moods. Just like women, men can be moody creatures. If you want to make your man happy emotionally, then you need to get to know his moods and know what to do depending on how he's feeling. The more time you spend with your man, the better you'll get to know his moods and the more quickly you'll know how to react. Here are some things to keep in mind as you get to know your man's moods:^{[1]
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- You should know when he's brooding and wants to be left alone, or when he's upset and wants to be comforted and to open up to you -- if you mix up the two moods, you'll either suffocate or alienate him.
- If he's feeling irritated, after driving in traffic or having a less-than-stellar basketball game, just take it easy on him. It's not the time to start cuddling up to him or to start gossiping about your friends.
- If you want to have a "serious talk" with your man, then wait until he's in a good mood. If you try to bring up a serious subject when he's stressed and has a lot on his plate, then you won't get the results you want.
2
Encourage him. To make your man happy emotionally, you need to know how to encourage him -- and mean it. You can encourage him by telling him how amazing, talented, or hilarious he is, and to help him pursue his dreams and goals. Don't encourage him if you don't really mean it -- you need to be sincere when you help him move forward in life.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.}
- If he has a big basketball game coming up, bake him cookies or call him the night before to let him know you care.
- If he has a big test, interview, or important event coming up, praise him and let him know how special he is so he feels positive.
3
Let him know how much you like him -- without going overboard. To make a man emotionally happy, you should let him know how you feel about him -- whether you love him, or just like him a whole lot. When you say goodbye to your man, let him know that you love him or that he's great, and find at least one reason to compliment him every time you hang out. You can let him know how special he is without smothering him or going overboard.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.}
- You don't have to send him twenty texts a day telling him how hot he is or how you can't wait to see him -- this will make him a bit too overwhelmed.
- Make sure that your affection is mutual. If you always tell him how great he is but get nothing in response, then you may have a problem.
4
Don't be too clingy. If you want to make your man happy emotionally, then you have to know how to be there for him when he needs you and how to back off and give him space when he needs it. Being clingy means wanting to hang out with him 24/7, not giving him time to see his boys, and checking in every fifteen seconds when he's not around. Now who likes that? No one.^{[4]
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- No matter how serious your relationship is, you shouldn't have to spend every night together. Have a good time going out with your girls and let him go out with his boys without a problem.
- If you're not hanging out that day, you can check in once or twice, but don't call him every hour, especially when you know he's with his friends, or he'll start to get annoyed.
- If you really want to stop being clingy, then you have to be able to pursue your own interests, to have your own passions, and to be your own person without the man's help. You should enjoy your time with your man, but your life shouldn't revolve around him.
5
Learn to compromise. To make your man happy emotionally, you have to be able to compromise when you have a disagreement. You should know that both of you should be able to get what you want, or to find a middle ground where each of you gets something that makes you happy. Learning to compromise means knowing how to factor in your interests as well as your man's whenever you make a decision.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.}
- You can also take turns getting what you want -- maybe you get to pick the restaurant for date night, and he gets to pick the movie.
- Don't be one of those girls who always gets her way because her man thinks it's easier to give you what you want than to put up a fight.
- In a good relationship, both people should be willing to compromise.
- Learn to have even-toned discussions instead of yelling when you have a disagreement.
6
Don't pick fights. There's nothing a man hates more than having to fight, bicker, or argue with his girl for no reason. If you have something important to discuss, then pick a reasonable time and place where both of you can focus on the conversation; don't start yelling at him in public and expect him to engage with you. Learn to keep your voice calm when you disagree instead of raising it.
- If you have the urge to pick a fight, ask yourself why you want to pick the fight, and what you're really angry about. Find a way to discuss this subject in a mature fashion.^{[6]
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7
Don't ask him if he's mad at you if he's just in a bad mood. This is a common mistake many women make. If your man is obviously grumpy and you're not sure why -- or even if you know why -- and you know you can't fix it, then you may tend to ask, "Are you mad at me? Is it something I said?" If there's no reason for the guy to be mad at you and he's already in a bad mood, this will only make him feel worse.
- You need to know that there are some situations that you just can't control. If he's having a bad day, he's just having a bad day -- his world doesn't revolve around you.
8
Remember to have fun. Some women are so obsessed with trying to have a perfect relationship that they forget to relax, kick back, and just have fun with their man. Though relationships are about building a strong, nurturing bond, they're also about being able to laugh, be goofy, and to have an amazing time without trying so hard. If you and your man aren't laughing on the regular, then he can't be happy emotionally.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.}
- Don't worry so much about planning the perfect date or the perfect romantic activity. You can have the most fun renting a goofy movie, hanging out at the mall, or taking an impromptu trip to the beach.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Make Your Man Happy Sexually

1
Know how to touch him. If you want to be able to make your man happy sexually, then you have to know how to touch him to turn him on. Each man is different, but there are a lot of places where almost any man would like to be touched to get him in the mood. Here are a few love locations to try:
- Touch him behind his ear or whisper into his ear, letting your lips graze his inner ear.
- Kiss the front and back of his neck, nibbling on it just the tiniest bit.
- Give him a sensual shoulder massage and see if it leads to something more.
- Gently caress the back of his head when you're kissing.
- Place a hand on the small of his back when you're talking.
- Plant a hand firmly on his chest.
2
Try new sexual positions. If you want to make your man happy sexually, then you can't do the same old thing every time. You should be willing to experiment and to try new positions -- as long as you feel comfortable doing it. If you're always kissing in the same position, with him on top of you, try switching it around so you're the one on the bottom -- and the same goes for sex.
- Not every new thing you try will feel great -- but be open to the process. You can go back to your old favorite positions and try new things in the middle.^{[8]
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- Let him lead the way. He may have an idea of what he wants. If not, you can try something new first.
3
Hook up in new places. If you want to keep your man happy, then you shouldn't just hook up in the same part of your bed every time. Instead, try moving around your home or apartment and exploring every nook and cranny with your bodies. Don't be afraid to try hooking up outside the home, whether you check into a hotel in your town or take a romantic vacation.
- Don't underestimate the good old movie theatre make out. Kissing in the car is another old favorite.
- Get frisky in public. Find a deserted and romantic location and have fun with your man.
4
Be adventurous. To please your man sexually, you have to be adventurous. This means being unafraid to go new places and to try new things whenever the mood strikes you. To be adventurous, you should be willing to try new things, from skinny dipping to kissing on the beach, or even to settling in for a long night of love making on a weekend hike.
- Don't think of reasons not to try something new -- instead, think of all the reasons why it would be fun.
- Take an unexpected weekend vacation. Point your finger on the map and drive to the place you've chosen. Have fun exploring the new spot -- and each other's bodies.
5
Be bold. Being bold is another way to make your man happy sexually. To be bold, you have to let your man know what you want when you want it. Take charge for a night and drag your man into the bedroom, telling him exactly what to do. Or turn to him in the middle of a party or crowded bar and whisper "I want you," in his ear, telling him that it's time to go home and hook up pronto.
- Your man will appreciate your audacity and frankness and it'll turn him on even more.
- If you're in the mood, just go for it. If you get that loving feeling when your man is in the shower, just sneak in there and join him for a soap session.
6
Be raunchy. Your man will love it if you're raunchy from time to time. To be raunchy, you can't be afraid to push the limits of your sexuality. Here are a few ways that you can be raunchy:
- Go to a sex store and pick up some whips, sex toys, and sexy clothing, no matter how ridiculous it may be.
- Invest in some incredibly sexy see-through lingerie.
- Have fun talking dirty over the phone or text to make your man think of you when you're not there. He'll love it.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Keep Him Happy

1
Keep your relationship fresh. If you want to keep your man happy emotionally and sexually, then you can't just settle into the same old routine, even if you've been together for years. You have to make an effort to keep things fresh or both of you will lose interest.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.} Here are some ways to do it:
- Do something that you've never done before together at least once a month. It could be rock climbing, biking, or playing beach volleyball.
- Take a dance class together. Learning to salsa or ballroom dance will help you keep your bodies in sync as you explore new horizons.
- Find a new way to compliment your man every week. You can always think of more things that you love about him.
- Play hard to get once in a while. He shouldn't feel like he can have you whenever he wants.
- Know that the chase is never over. He should be working as hard to pursue you as he did the day you met.
2
Don't get jealous. The easiest way to blow a great relationship is to start to get consumed by jealousy for no reason at all. If you're jealous, that will only make your man annoyed and frustrated and will make him feel like you're not secure enough in the relationship to trust that he won't cheat on you. If you can't stand it when your man talks to or even mentions another girl, even if it's completely harmless, then you need to work on keeping your jealousy in check and on making your man feel secure.
- If you can avoid gossiping or saying negative things about other girls in your orbit, your man will be impressed.
- Part of being in a healthy relationship means knowing that there are a lot of other appealing members of the opposite sex out there and recognizing that you won't pursue them. If you think your man can't be around a pretty girl without hitting on her, then you have a problem.
3
Don't try to change him.^{[10]
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Research source} If you don't like your man the way he is -- to a degree -- then why bother with him? It's okay to want your man to step it up a bit, whether it's by not showing up late to your dates or by taking less than three hours to return one of your calls, but it's not okay to try to change the way your man looks, dresses, thinks, and talks to suit your idea of what the "perfect man" should be like. This will only make your man feel annoyed, like he can't be himself, and like you don't like him for who he really is.
- If your man is exhibiting less-than-desirable behavior, then it's fine to point it out. But if you point out every little problem, from the way he chews his food to how he ties his shoes, then he'll feel like you're constantly nagging him.
- Nobody's perfect. You should recognize that there are things about you that your man may not find ideal -- but that's okay.
4
Give him space. Even if your relationship has been going on for years, you should always remember to give your man some space -- even if you share the same home and bed. You and your man should be able to spend some time apart so that your relationship can grow even stronger when you return to each other, and so you can continue to gain an appreciation of how special your significant others are.
- Being able to let your man do his own thing on the weekend sometimes, to go to happy hour with his coworkers without you by his side every time, or to take a weekend trip to see his family without you is a sign of maturity and trust.
- If you feel like you constantly have to be by his side or you can't enjoy yourself, then you won't be able to keep your man happy for long.
5
Make sure you're happy. Though it's important for you to make your man happy emotionally and sexually, it's equally important that you're feeling emotionally and sexually fulfilled in the relationship. It's not the woman's job to tip-toe around the man, making sure that his needs are met -- a strong relationship is forged by mutual love, encouragement, and acceptance. If you feel like you spend all of your time thinking about what your man wants instead of being attentive to your own needs, then you have a problem.
- Though it's impossible for you and your man to be happy emotionally and sexually 100% of the time, you should both be happy the majority of the time for the relationship to thrive.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you keep your man satisfied in bed?

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Licensed Relationship Therapist

Expert Answer

This is going to be specific to you and your partner. Everyone has different wants and needs, and you should talk to your partner about this. It can be kind of awkward if you've never done it before, but once the conversation gets started and the two of you put your interests out there, it's going to be a lot easier!
Question

What should I do if my partner wants to talk about sex, but it makes me uncomfortable?

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Licensed Relationship Therapist

Expert Answer

You should be able to communicate your sexual needs, boundaries, and curiosities with one another. I understand that it can be scary if you aren't used to sharing these kind of vulnerable details, but it's important. These kind of conversations are an essential part of maintaining a healthy relationship. It'll get easier the more you open up!

Warnings

Fair warning, men tend to get over the same old stuff fairly quickly. Think about it men are sexually attracted so that means that even no the guy has emotions over you; his sexual side seems more and more powerful every day he hasn't had his way with you!

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