Am I a Narcissist or an Empath?

Narcissism and empathy are qualities that exist on a spectrum. Therefore, you can have high levels of narcissism but not experience Narcissistic Personality Disorder (or, NPD). On the other hand, “empath” is still a much-debated term. Though it isn’t a diagnosable condition in the DSM-5, some research does suggest the existence of people with exceptional levels of empathy, or “empaths.”

Qualities of Empaths:

Experience others’ emotions with them: Empaths feel extreme levels of empathy. Whether you’ve had good news or bad news, an empath will feel your feelings, too. Because of this, they might feel drained and vulnerable to low moods.

Emotionally intuitive: Empaths are capable of reading into behaviors and words and determining how their friends feel at any given moment. Even if you think you’re keeping your feelings hidden, an empath can see right through it.

Easily overwhelmed: Because empaths are susceptible to sudden emotional shifts, they might get stressed easily. Most people don’t go through life absorbing the negative emotions of people around them, but empaths do.

Sometimes struggle with boundaries: Because empaths feel so connected to other people’s feelings, they’re more likely to put others’ needs first. This can leave them feeling tired, stressed, and busy.

Very sensitive: Empaths experience big emotions—because of this, their feelings might get hurt easily. And, because they’re intuitive, they notice everything, even subtle slights.

Qualities of Narcissists:

Overinflated sense of self-importance: Narcissists believe that they’re special and exceptional. They never or rarely question this belief, so they go through life expecting others to see and commend their “specialness” as well.

Sense of entitlement: Because narcissists believe they’re above other people, they expect extra consideration, recognition, and leniency from others. A narcissist will feel that the rules don’t apply to them.

Low levels of empathy: Narcissists have trouble understanding others’ emotions, desires, and feelings. As a result of this, they rarely act in a way that is considerate of others’ happiness and well-being.

Need for external validation: Narcissists have a constant need for compliments and praise. As a result of this, they surround themselves with people who are willing to provide them with this, even though they rarely reciprocate.

Rarely feel guilt or shame: Because narcissists struggle to feel empathy, they don’t typically feel invested in others’ happiness. Because of this, they’re happy to lie, cheat, and manipulate others without worry.

Excessive interest in high-status activities and people: Because narcissists believe that they’re better than other people, they expect their status and relationships to reflect this. As a result, they seek power, wealth, and high-value connections.

Dark empathy: Again, this term isn’t in the DSM-5. But it refers to individuals with high levels of cognitive empathy and low levels of emotional empathy. These people feel very little desire to help and support other people, even though they understand the feelings and experiences of other people.