Everyone has big dreams and ambitions, and it's normal to feel overwhelmed when you're unsure how to accomplish them. Though getting what you want may seem like a long process, you can easily make a plan and start taking action right now. Remember to be confident, respectful, and have faith in yourself as you work to make your dreams a reality. To get you started, here's our comprehensive guide to getting what you want!

If you're looking specifically for getting what you want from your parents, see How to Get What You Want from Your Parents.

1

Ask for what you want.

  1. It's easy to underestimate the power of simply voicing your desires. If you can only get what you want from someone else, don't wait for them to read your mind. Ask for what you want with respect, confidence, and plenty of detail. Be detailed and specific, so there's no chance of miscommunication.[1]
    • It may help to plan out what you'll say beforehand. Write down your request along with a list of reasons to help your argument. Practice speaking if you tend to get nervous jitters.[2]
    • Make sure you're asking and not delivering an ultimatum. You want to make sure the other person has room to say no without feeling pressured!
    • If your request is denied, try not to complain or sulk. Handle it with grace, and remember that you'll probably have the chance to ask again at a later date.
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2

Define your goals.

  1. Even if you already know, get into specifics. Think about your life, career, relationships, and more. What do you want from them? What do you want in 5 years or 10? What smaller goals do you have to meet to get what you want? You'll only be able to create a solid plan for getting what you want once you have clear and detailed ideas.[3]
    • It's easier to tackle your goals gradually in manageable steps. For example, if your ultimate plan is to get a raise at work, start small. Get to work early or make an effort to talk to your boss every day, and build from there!
    • Write down your goals. It may seem too simple, but putting pen to paper is far more powerful—and more of a commitment—than just thinking about your goals.[4]
    • Go above and beyond when setting goals. Don't worry about staying "realistic" to avoid disappointment—challenge yourself and shoot for the stars.
5

Practice makes perfect.

  1. Commit to training often when you want to get better at something. Think about what skills you'll need to accomplish a goal and make plans to hone them. If you're saving for the vacation of a lifetime, practice your budgeting skills. If you want to book gigs at a performance space, pick songs to rehearse and improve your skills as a musician. Come up with a regular practice routine and stick to it for the best results.
    • On average, it takes 66 days for a person to form a habit. Keep practicing, and soon enough, you'll have an easy daily regimen that helps you work towards your ultimate goal.[7]
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6

Find a role model.

  1. Look at people who have what you want and figure out how they got it. Odds are, whatever you want, someone else has wanted—and gotten—before. Study the challenges they overcame and what they did to make the same achievements you want to make. Use their path to success as a roadmap for your own.
    • Reach out and talk to this role model if you can. Ask them for advice, including questions like "What would you do differently if you could?" Be authentic and considerate when you're networking.[8]
7

Help others to help yourself.

  1. Offering to help boosts your confidence and sense of purpose.[9] If you're trying to advance your career, consider volunteering your time to help coworkers and superiors. Your boss would be grateful for your help, which in turn would draw attention to both your expertise and reliability. In short: when you help people, they also want to help you.
    • Volunteer work can also be fulfilling if you're trying to switch careers. Use it as a chance to learn new skills and get career experience.
    • Helping other people makes you feel good about yourself. The more you do it, the happier you get.
    • Volunteering also gives you the chance to expand your professional network and meet new people. You never know when an opportunity will come along.
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8

Be unapologetic.

  1. When you apologize, you detract from your own confidence. Saying "I'm sorry, but…" to get someone's attention has become so common that some people associate it with showing respect, but it's actually just making you look less authoritative. Be polite without backing down, and remember to stop yourself when you instinctively go to apologize.[10]
    • Remember that you don't need to apologize for "bothering" someone. Just say, "Is this a good time?" or "Could I have a quick word with you?" instead.
    • Disagree respectfully without making apologies. Rather than "I'm sorry to disagree…" try saying, "I'd like to look at this from another perspective."
10

Leave failure in the past.

About This Article

Sandra Possing
Co-authored by:
Life Coach
This article was co-authored by Sandra Possing and by wikiHow staff writer, Glenn Carreau. Sandra Possing is a life coach, speaker, and entrepreneur based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Sandra specializes in one-on-one coaching with a focus on mindset and leadership transformation. Sandra received her coaching training from The Coaches Training Institute and has seven years of life coaching experience. She holds a BA in Anthropology from the University of California, Los Angeles. This article has been viewed 60,722 times.
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Co-authors: 23
Updated: September 7, 2022
Views: 60,722
Article SummaryX

In order to get what you want, decide on your goal, then break that down into smaller, more manageable steps that you can take to get there. Stay focused on your goal, and be confident that you will achieve it. For instance, if what you want is to take a vacation to Hawaii, your steps could include, “I will save $20 a week, plus my birthday money, until I can afford a ticket,” “I will spend an hour a day researching the lowest flights for the next 2 weeks,” and “Instead of going out to eat, I’ll cook at home so I can buy new clothes for the trip.” For tips on how networking can help you reach your goals, keep reading!

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