How to Meet Your Girlfriend's Parents in High School

Co-authored by Erika Kaplan and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: October 27, 2021 References

Meeting the parents is a nerve-wracking experience for everyone, but it also means your relationship is going great! If this is your first time meeting anyone’s parents, figuring out how to act, what to say, and even what to wear can be confusing. That’s why we’ve compiled a list of tips you can use when you meet your girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Keep reading to learn how you can nail the first impression while staying cool, calm, and collected.

1

Dress comfortably, yet slightly formal.

Wear an outfit you feel cool and confident in. Something like slacks and a button down or a nice dress and tights is probably perfect for this occasion. You don’t need to wear a suit and a tie (that’s a little too formal), but showing that you put some effort into your appearance will go a long way. Make sure you brush your hair, wash your face, and gargle some mouthwash right before you head out the door!^{[1]
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- If you wear makeup, you can put some of that on, too, before you head out.
- Take your meeting place into account, too—if you’re going to a fancy restaurant, you might dress a little more formally than if you’re just heading over to her parent’s house for dinner.

2

Shake their hands when you first meet them.

A firm handshake is super impressive, especially for a high schooler. When you first meet your girlfriend’s parents, look them in the eyes as you shake their hands. Introduce yourself, and greet them politely as your girlfriend makes introductions.^{[2]
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- If your girlfriend’s family is a little more touchy-feely, they might want to give you a hug instead. However, starting with a handshake is a safe bet.
- You could say something like, “Hi, I’m Ryan. It’s so nice to finally meet you both.”
- Or, “It’s nice to meet you! I’m Jessica.”

3

Smile and make eye contact.

It will show that you’re excited to be there and meet them. When you walk in, catch your girlfriend's parents’ eyes and give them a big smile. As you all chat throughout the night, try to keep your eyes upward, and smile or laugh whenever you can. This will make everyone feel more comfortable, and it can even trick you into being less nervous!^{[3]
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- Keep your shoulders back and your head held high. Open body language like this will make you look (and feel) more confident.

4

Refer to them as Mr. or Mrs.

This shows that you respect them as your girlfriend’s parents. If they insist that they call you something else (like their first names), that’s fine, but start out with formal titles when you first get there. As you get to know each other more, you can relax in how you address them.^{[4]
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- If either of her parents are doctors (you can ask your girlfriend about this), say Dr. instead of Mr. or Mrs.

5

Keep your phone in your pocket.

Turn it on vibrate or silent so it doesn’t disturb your conversation. Putting your phone away is a sign of respect, and it shows that you really want to talk to your girlfriend’s parents and get to know them. If you need to answer a phone call or send a quick text, excuse yourself to the other room, and try to make it quick!^{[5]
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6

Be yourself.

Your gf’s parents want to get to know the real you! Although you might feel a bit nervous or awkward at first, feel free to let your true personality shine through. You can make silly jokes or talk about your hobbies and your friends—it will probably bring you and her parents closer together.^{[6]
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- Try to keep any jokes or anecdotes G-rated though, at least for this first meeting.

7

Answer their questions about you.

Parents are usually pretty curious about who their kid is dating. You might be asked about your school work, your hobbies, or your plans for the future. If you have a job, you can also talk about that. Feel free to be truthful, and lean on your girlfriend if you ever feel stuck.^{[7]
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- For instance, if they ask what your favorite class in school is, you might say, “I really love English right now, mainly because we’re reading 1984, one of my favorite books.”
- If her parents ask what you like to do for fun, you could say, “Soccer takes up most of my time right now, but other than that, I love going hiking.”

8

Ask for stories about your girlfriend’s childhood.

Her parents might have some funny stories about your GF. If you aren’t sure what to talk about, start a lively conversation by asking if her parents have any funny or exciting stories from when your girlfriend was little. Keep in mind, though, that if your girlfriend is shy, she might not love this topic of conversation.^{[8]
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- You could say something like, “Was Ashley always so good at singing?”
- Or, “Do you have any embarrassing stories from when Sierra was little?”

9

Give your girlfriend a few compliments.

Parents love to hear good things about their children. When you’re around them, tell them how awesome your GF is and how lucky you are to be with her. You don’t have to do this the whole time (that can seem like overkill), but one or two compliments sprinkled throughout the conversation will make a great first impression. You could say something like:^{[9]
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- “Rebecca is so studious. I’m in awe of her ability to keep her grades up while still doing all this stuff outside of school.”
- “Emily always pushes me to do better in school and in sports. I’m so lucky to have her around.”

10

Ask her parents for some advice.

Make them feel like you value their wisdom and experience. Believe it or not, your girlfriend’s parents were your age once, too! If you’re struggling with something or you need help making a big decision, bring it up around her parents and see if they have any thoughts. Keep it rated PG so you don’t offend anyone.^{[10]
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- For instance, you might say, “I really like playing basketball, but it cuts into my study time a lot. Did either of you play sports in high school?”
- Or, “I’m applying for colleges right now, and I’m not sure if I should move further away or stay close to home and save money. What do you think?”

11

See if you have any shared interests.

This is a great way to bond with your girlfriend’s parents. Maybe her dad plays golf and you’re on your school’s golf team, or maybe you’re performing in the school play and her mom does community theater. As you chat, get to know her parents more by asking them questions and seeing what they like to do for fun.^{[11]
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- It’s great if you can find a hobby that you and her parents could do together! For instance, if her dad loves to fish and you do too, you two could go out for a day just the two of you.

12

Offer to help clean up.

If you’re at their house, this is a great way to show you have manners. After dinner (or dessert), help take the plates to the kitchen and see if they need any help with the dishes. Even if her parents refuse, simply offering will show that you respect them and their household.^{[12]
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- You could say something like, “Need any help clearing up? I can also do some dishes so we don’t leave you with a mess to clean up.”
- If you’re out at a restaurant, her parents will most likely pay for dinner. You can offer to split the bill if you want to, but you don’t have to (especially if you don’t have a job yet).

13

Save any PDA for later.

Too much kissing can make her parents feel uncomfortable. You two can hold hands or share a quick peck, but it’s important not to go too far. Parents usually feel a little weird seeing their child get too touchy-feely, especially when you’re both in high school still.^{[13]
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- If you wouldn’t do it in front of your parents, don’t do it in front of hers!

14

Thank her parents as you leave.

When you say goodbye, let them know you had a great time. If her parents hosted you, give their house a compliment and tell them that you really enjoyed meeting them. You can give them one last handshake, or you can even share a hug if you feel close enough with them. Say something like:^{[14]
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- “Thank you so much for having me over! It was really lovely to meet you both.”
- “Thank you for the dinner; it was so delicious. I had a great time.”