How to Flirt on a Second Date

Written by Candice Mostisser | Edited by Hunter Rising

Last Updated: July 30, 2022

So you had an amazing time on your first date and your second one is right around the corner. Now that you know you have a great connection, you can flirt even more and really hit it off on your second date. Even if you still have some leftover jitters from going out the first time, it’s easy to show your date that you’re interested in them. Keep reading for what you need to know while you’re out so you can land a third date with them!

This article is based on an interview with our dating coach, Candice Mostisser. Check out the full interview here.

1

Dress your best.

An attractive outfit shows your date you’re into them. Take a little time to choose some clean clothes that fit you well and match your personal style. You don’t have to dress to the nines, but show your date that you’re putting extra effort into how you look so you really grab their attention.
- If you’re a guy, try wearing a henley shirt, a nice button-up, or a sweater.
- If you’re a girl, put on a fitted pair of jeans, an off-the-shoulder blouse, a little black dress, a bodycon dress.

2

Surprise them with a gift.

Even something small makes you seem thoughtful. Try to remember what you talked about on your first date and get them a gift related to the conversation. It could be a piece of their favorite candy, their go-to Starbucks order, or anything else they may have mentioned in a past conversation.
- “I remember you saying you liked Kit Kats, so I got you the biggest one I could find!”
- “I stopped and got us some coffee. Venti cold brew with almond milk, just how you like it!”

3

Greet them with a hug.

Your date will feel more comfortable after a warm embrace. Start your date out right away by breaking the touch barrier to set the mood for the rest of the date. Even a quick hug to say hello seems really flirty and lets your date know that you want to be closer to them.^{[1]
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- “Hi hi! I’ve missed you!”
- “Ugh, it’s so good to finally see you again!”
- “Hey you! I’ve been looking forward to this all day!”

4

Flash your best smile.

A genuine smile makes you look more attractive. You want your date to know that you’re happy to be around them, so show off your smile so they warm up to you even more. You’ll seem like you have a positive attitude and are in a good mood, and it’ll rub off on your date and make them excited to spend time with you.
- Be sure to brush your teeth before your date to make your smile shine bright and get rid of bad breath.

5

Make eye contact with them.

You’ll feel a stronger bond when you look into each other’s eyes. Eye contact not only shows that you’re paying attention but it can also make you feel more attracted to one another. Just be sure to break eye contact every now and then since staring at your date the whole time could make them a little uncomfortable.
- Try holding eye contact for a few seconds and then smiling at your date. That’s bound to make them feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

6

Turn your body toward them.

Your body language tells your date that you’re interested. When you point your body away from your date, it could seem like you’re shutting them off. Instead, turn so your chest and knees are pointing toward your date and they’ll feel like they can trust and open up to you.

7

Lightly touch them.

A playful touch here and there starts your physical connection. Try to find some ways to casually reach out and break the touch barrier a few times during your date. You could brush your hand against their leg, guide them by touching their lower back, or holding their hand for a second before letting go.
- If your date pulls away and doesn’t want to be touched, respect their personal space and try flirting in a different way. They might just need a little more time to warm up to you.

8

Give them a compliment.

Your date will feel flattered when you point out what you like about them. While you can always mention something about how they look, you’ll get a lot more brownie points if you compliment your date’s personality or achievements. Just be careful not to overdo it or say anything that’s too sexual since it could make your compliments seem less genuine.
- “You look absolutely stunning in that top!”
- “Wow, you rocked that karaoke song! Why didn’t you tell me you had the voice of an angel?!”
- “You’re so easy to talk to, I feel like I could open up about anything with you.”

9

Open up with deeper conversations.

Your date will love that you want to get to know them even better. While the first date is about breaking the ice and seeing if you have fun together, use your second date to see how compatible you’d be in the long run. Start asking about things like their family, their values, what they want from a relationship, and what they want from their future. Be sure to answer the questions too so the conversation stays balanced.^{[2]
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- “What is something you’re hoping to achieve in the next 10 years?”
- “How do you get along with your family?”
- “What’s the most important thing in a relationship for you?”

10

Give them your full attention.

It’s so caring to focus on your date without distractions. Let your date know that you’re all ears and ready to pay attention by actively listening, looking at them, nodding along to what they have to say, and shutting out everything else going on around you.
- When you’re on your date, put your phone away so you don’t get the urge to check it.

11

Ask follow-up questions.

Asking for more shows you’re listening and want to learn about them. After your date finishes talking about something, try to dig a little deeper rather than changing the subject. Bounce off of what they just said and keep chatting about the topic so your date feels like you care about what they have to say.
- “That’s so neat you grew up in a small town. What was your favorite thing to do there?”
- “It sounds like you’re really close with your family. How often do you get to see them?”
- “Skiing is one of my favorite hobbies too! What’s the best slope you’ve ever been on?”

12

Laugh at their jokes.

Your date will love knowing that they can make you smile. When your date tells a funny story or a cheesy joke, show them that you enjoy it with a good chuckle. Laughing lets your date know that you feel comfortable around them and that you have the same sense of humor, so it’s a great way to get them to like you even more.
- Be careful not to laugh at everything they say, or your date might think that you don’t take them seriously.

13

Playfully tease them.

Poking fun is a sure sign that you’re into your date. When you tease your date, you’re testing out if they’re having fun and have a good sense of humor. Just be careful not to say anything that could offend your date or be taken the wrong way since it could be a turn-off.
- “Gutter ball? I thought you said that you were good at bowling!”
- “If you’re a musician, you won’t have any problem singing me a love song, right?”
- “Was that your way of hitting on me? Because it was super cute.”
- If your date does get offended, apologize quickly and try to move on to a new subject.

14

Make loose plans together.

Tentative plans show your interest in seeing each other again. You don’t have to set an exact time and date for seeing each other. When your date mentions something that you’re both interested in, suggest a theoretical plan so your date pictures you with them in the future.
- “My friends tell me I’m the best chef! We should find something to make for dinner and cook it together sometime!”
- “I’m so glad we both love going to the farmer’s market! Wouldn’t it be fun if we went together and sampled all of the food?”
- “If you think you’re so good at basketball, you should try taking me on 1-on-1 sometime soon!”

15

Try ending on a kiss.

A quick smooch can seal the deal. When you feel like the date went well and your date is into you, show that you’re interested by looking at your date’s mouth and lightly touching them. Then, just be courageous and try moving in for the kiss. If your date feels the same connection, they’ll lean in for it too and end your date on a romantic note.
- If your date rejects the kiss, respect their space. Maybe they don’t like PDA or they may not be ready for that much physical contact yet.
- Even though you can usually tell from your date’s body language, it can be really courteous to ask for their consent before kissing. You could say, “I’ve had such an incredible time tonight. Would you mind if I kissed you?”