16 Ways to Tell If Your Ex Still Likes You (Even If They Say They Don’t)

Solve the mystery that's on your mind: is your ex really over you?

Co-authored by Julia McCurley and Savannah Vold

Last Updated: March 2, 2023 References

Watching Their Behavior

|

Examining Your Communications

|

Asking Your Friends & Family

|

Signs Your Ex Still Likes You and Help Talking About Getting Back Together

|

Q&A

|

Tips

|

Warnings

Whether you’re doing the breaking up or getting broken up with, cutting ties with your ex is the worst. Just because a relationship has ended doesn't mean that the feelings you shared for each other did, too—you have history! If you’ve been curious whether or not your ex still has feelings for you, that makes total sense. The good news is, everyone has tells, and with the right guidance, you can easily spot your ex’s. We’ve got you covered; read on for 16 subtle signs that your ex is still hung up on you!

Things You Should Know

Keep an eye out for your ex at the places you frequent. For example, if they never liked yoga before but keep showing up at your studio, they might be trying to bump into you.
Pay attention to your ex’s body language and facial expressions. If they smile easily and can’t help but touch your arm when you’re talking, this might be a sign that they still like you.
Liking your posts on social media, particularly selfies or old pictures of the two of you together, may indicate that they still have feelings for you.
Ask your mutual friends if your ex has been talking about you. If they frequently bring you up in conversation, they might still be interested in you.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Watching Their Behavior

1
Notice if your ex always seems to be around.^{[1]
X
Expert Source

Julia McCurley
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 30 September 2021.} Your ex will probably try to find reasons to be around you if they’re still interested. They might pop up at your job, hang out at your favorite places, and attend events they know you enjoy. Track how often you see your ex to figure out if they might be trying to run into you.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- If you and your ex both like the same local coffee shop, they might not be there to see you. However, if your ex was never interested in art before your breakup but shows up at every gallery opening in town, they’re probably coming in the hopes of running into you.
2
Look at what they post on social media.^{[3]
X
Expert Source

Julia McCurley
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 30 September 2021.} If you’re still following them on social media, scroll through their recent postings to see what’s been happening in their lives. Notice if they seem happy or sad. Additionally, see if they appear to have moved on or might be stuck in the past.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- For instance, a post like, “Really miss the good times I used to have with a certain someone” or "The last few days have been hard" might mean they’re thinking about you. On the other hand, if they’re posting pics of them with a new partner, they might be moving on.
Tip: If looking at your ex’s social media makes you feel sad or jealous, unfollow them and ignore this suggestion. Your feelings are super important, so don’t do something that makes you unhappy.

Advertisement
3
Check if they like your posts and pics on social media.^{[5]
X
Expert Source

Julia McCurley
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 30 September 2021.} It’s normal for your ex to occasionally react to some of your posts. However, your ex might still be interested if they like most of your posts or go back to like old posts. Track how often they interact with your social media account to see if they still care about you.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- For instance, it might not mean anything if your ex likes a post about you getting a new car. However, they probably still like you if they like every photo you post of yourself.
- If your ex likes old photos of the two of you together, it’s very likely that they still like you.
4
Watch how your ex reacts when they see you. When you run into your ex, watch their reaction to see if it’s positive, neutral, or negative. Look at their facial expressions and read their body language to help you figure out how they feel.^{[7]
X
Research source}
- For instance, let’s say your ex smiles really big and comes over to say, “Hi! How’s it going?” This might be a sign they still like you.
- If they give you a slight wave and say, “Oh, hey,” they might feel neutral toward you. In this case, they might just want to be friends.
- On the other hand, they might have moved on if they frown, move away, or fold their arms in front of their body.
5
Notice if your ex touches you a lot. When you like someone, it’s really hard to resist casually touching them. In fact, this is a common way to flirt! Consider if your ex touches you on your arm, shoulder, back, or legs. This could be a sign that they like you.^{[8]
X
Research source}
- You might also notice that your ex goes in for a hug whenever you run into each other or after you have a conversation. This might mean they like you.
Tip: If the touching makes you uncomfortable, tell them to stop. Say, “Don’t touch me like that anymore. Please respect my personal space."
6
See if they’re willing to do you a favor. Your ex might be willing to help you out with something if they’re still into you. Tell them about a problem that you’re having and see if they volunteer to help. Alternatively, ask them to help you with something you know they’re good at doing. If they say yes, they might still like you.^{[9]
X
Research source}
- For example, ask them to help you with a homework assignment or ask them to help you host a party for a mutual friend.
- If your ex is super friendly and helpful, they might do you a favor even if they don’t like you.
7
Pay attention if they’re hanging onto some of your things. After a relationship ends, you’re generally expected to return your ex’s things back to them. If your ex keeps some of your stuff, it might be a sign they still like you. Check to see if you got all of your things back from them.^{[10]
X
Research source}
- For instance, your ex might keep 1 of your shirts so they can smell your scent. Similarly, they might keep a book you lent them that was important to you.
- If the item is expensive, your ex might just be trying to keep it for its value. As an example, don’t let them keep your headphones.
8
Find out if they've se|gone on any dates or hooked up with someone. Check your ex's social media accounts to see if they're posting about a new relationship or if they've posted photos with a new partner. Additionally, ask your mutual friends if they know if there's someone new in their life. If they're dating someone else, they're probably focused on the future of their new relationship.^{[11]
X
Research source}
- In some cases, your ex might post photos of themself with someone else to make you jealous. However, they've likely moved on if they're in an official relationship.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Examining Your Communications

1
Track how often your ex reaches out to you.^{[12]
X
Expert Source

Julia McCurley
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 30 September 2021.} Your ex will probably find reasons to contact you if they’re still interested. Check how often they call, text, or talk to you in person. Similarly, consider if they start the conversation back up after it has ended. This might be a sign they like you.^{[13]
X
Research source}
- For example, your ex might text you to ask questions they probably know the answer to. They might ask, “Do we have an assignment due tomorrow?” or “Do you know if Candy’s party is still on for Saturday?”
Tip: Some of their communications may be negative. For instance, they might send you an angry text about the breakup or something they saw on your social media. This might be a sign that they're still thinking about you or that they're jealous.
2
Notice if your ex brings up nostalgic moments in your relationship. If they start telling happy stories about your relationship, it means they’re thinking about good times. This is a sign that they might still like you. Listen when your ex starts talking about old times to see if they’re focusing on the good parts of your relationship.^{[14]
X
Research source}
- They might say, “Remember that time we had a candlelight picnic under the stars? That was such a good night,” or “I still remember how much we laughed at the improv theater. We had such good times together.”
3
See if they check on you when you’re going through hard times. When you’re feeling upset, it’s natural for someone who cares about you to check in on you and make sure that you’re okay. Notice if your ex always seems to be there for you when you need someone. Additionally, consider if they’re willing to listen to you talk about your problems.^{[15]
X
Research source}
- For example, let’s say you post on social media that your relative is in the hospital. Your ex might immediately text, “Are you okay?”
- Keep in mind that this might not mean they like you romantically. They might continue to check up on you because they still care about you as a friend.
4
Notice if they come to you for advice. Typically, you go to someone you trust when you need advice. Consider how often your ex relies on you for advice about their problems. If your ex consistently comes to you, this means they probably still feel close to you. It might even mean they still like you.^{[16]
X
Research source}
- For example, they might tell you about problems they’ve been having at work or school. Then, they might ask what you think they should do about them.
5
Pay attention if they start talking about their past mistakes. Bringing up their mistakes means that they’re thinking about what they could have done differently during your relationship. This may mean they’re trying to figure out what went wrong and if they can still salvage it. Listen closely if they start talking about what they did wrong, what they could’ve done differently, or how they’ve changed for the better.^{[17]
X
Research source}
- They might say, “I realize now that I should’ve listened more,” “I really regret talking to that other girl. I’ll never make that mistake again,” or “Since we broke up, I’ve really changed. You made me a better person.”

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Asking Your Friends & Family

1
Ask your friends if they think your ex is still into you. Your friends have a different perspective on your relationship with your ex. They’re likely able to see things you might overlook, making them a great source of advice. Talk to them to find out how they think your ex is feeling about you and get several opinions to help you figure out if your ex might still like you.^{[18]
X
Research source}
- You might ask, “What did you think about my relationship with my ex?” “Do you think we might get back together?” “Do you think they’ve moved on?” and “Could they still like me?”
2
Find out if your ex still talks to your family. While there are several probable reasons why your ex might maintain a relationship with your family, this could also be a sign that they haven’t totally moved on. Ask your family members if they’re still in communication with your ex. If they are, ask them if your ex still talks about you, which could be a sign that they still like you.^{[19]
X
Research source}
- It’s normal for your ex to stay close with your family if you share kids together. They may be talking to your family because it’s important to maintain those healthy relationships for the good of the kids.
- If your ex had a friendship with a family member before your relationship, they’ll probably stay friends with that person after the breakup. Don’t count these types of relationships when trying to figure out if they still like you.
3
Talk to mutual friends to find out how often your ex talks about you.^{[20]
X
Expert Source

Julia McCurley
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 30 September 2021.} If your ex still likes you, they’re probably looking for reasons to talk about you. This means their friends will probably have heard them talking about you. Check with the mutual friends you share to find out what your ex is saying.^{[21]
X
Research source}
- Ask, “Does Alex still talk about me?”
- If you don’t have any mutual friends, you might try reaching out to their friend group. If you’re nervous, get one of your friends to ask one of your ex’s friends instead.
Warning: When you ask about this, you’ll be bringing your ex up as a topic of conversation. This might make people think that you’re still interested in them.

Signs Your Ex Still Likes You and Help Talking About Getting Back Together

Signs Your Ex Still Likes You

Talking to Your Ex about Getting Back Together

Community Q&A

Question

What if your ex says he kind of stopped liking you, does that mean he still kind of likes you?

wikiHow Staff Editor
Staff Answer
This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

wikiHow Staff Editor

Staff Answer

It depends on the situation. Suppose he's been making minimal to no contact with you in that he doesn't talk about you to friends or interact with you in any way, then he's likely moved on. That said, if he makes an effort to reach out to you and often talks about your past relationship, he might still have feelings for you.
Question

But what if he is very distant and I want to talk to him about our past but, every time I try he gets nervous and walks away?

wikiHow Staff Editor
Staff Answer
This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

wikiHow Staff Editor

Staff Answer

In this case, giving your ex some space is probably best. There might be an opportunity to speak with your ex about your past together once he's been able to process his emotions, but it sounds like he hasn't been able to do so yet, which may be making him nervous and uncomfortable in this situation.
Question

My boyfriend broke up with me because of something I said to him out of annoyance. He said it is my nature and he isn't cool with it so he thinks we will be better off as friends but I really like him

wikiHow Staff Editor
Staff Answer
This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

wikiHow Staff Editor

Staff Answer

The best thing to do here might be to give your ex some space. After he's had time to cool down, you could text him explaining yourself and assure him that you won't be acting that way again, if that's true, and that you want to make it work. This will allow him to consider what you have to say without the pressure of responding in person.

Warnings

Avoid having post-breakup make-out sessions or sex with your ex unless you both want to get back together. Don't let your ex take advantage of your heartbreak and just use you for the physical connection.

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0
Don't be too quick to jump back into the relationship. Sometimes, you idealize the things you no longer have. Don't forget why you broke up. If you're only going to jump back into the same problems, then steer clear of your ex.

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0