How to Date in a Small Town

Co-authored by Cher Gopman and Janice Tieperman

Last Updated: August 25, 2021 References

Without the diversity and big population of the city, your small town Tinder matches might be looking like your high school yearbook. Not to worry—there are plenty of creative ways to make new connections within your community. If you’re feeling a bit adventurous, there are several dating options that can expand your horizons, too! Here are a few suggestions to help you get started.

1

Spread the news that you’re available.

Word tends to travel fast in smaller towns. Drop a hint to your friends, loved ones, and acquaintances that you’re single and possibly looking for a relationship. Your friends might be able to set you up with someone, or they may simply spread the word around. ^{[1]
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- Use your best judgement when bringing it up in conversation! You might tell people directly, or segue into the topic more subtly.

2

Frequent new places.

Stop by new stores and restaurants. Trying new things is a great way to cross paths with new people, even if you live in a small town. Sign up for a library card, join the local community center, or register for your local gym—any new activity is a great way to meet new people and possibly strike up a new connection.^{[2]
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- For instance, you might stop by your local library, or sign up for a cooking class.
- During COVID-19, you might not be able to visit as many new shops and eateries.

3

Join new clubs.

Be on the lookout for new, fun group activities in your town. Look for fliers or listen for word-of-mouth advertising for some upcoming events. There might be a local sports club you can join, or a cooking class that you can sign up for. These are all great ways to meet new people, and possibly make new dating connections!^{[3]
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- For instance, you might join or a crafting club in your community, or join a community band.

4

Connect with people through social media.

The internet is a great way to expand your dating horizons. Check out sites like Facebook, which advertise new events happening in your area—this is a great place to potentially make new connections. You might also browse through sites like “Meetup.com,” where you can spend time with people who have similar interests.^{[4]
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Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} Search for new events and activities in the closest town or city, and see how it goes!^{[5]
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- While you can make new connections on all types of social media, some experts believe that Facebook is the best social media platform for online dating. With Facebook, it’s easy to keep your friends in the loop about your relationship.^{[6]
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5

Introduce yourself to strangers.

Look for opportunities to strike up a conversation in a random place. Waiting in line at the grocery store? Say hi to the person next to you, and see how their day is going. Opening yourself up to new friends and acquaintances is a great way to network.^{[7]
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Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} If you really hit it off with someone, take a leap of faith and ask them out on a date, even if you’re just grabbing coffee.^{[8]
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- Starting up a conversation with a stranger may seem a little daunting at first. That’s okay! Start with some basic conversational topics, like the weather, and see where your chat goes.

6

Broaden your horizons with dating apps.

Optimize your profile to make new connections. Upload a flattering picture to your profile—try to pick a photo from the past few months or years. Then, jot down a couple sentences in your bio, describing your personality, hobbies, goals, or something similar.^{[9]
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Research source} Before you search for matches, expand the location parameters within the app to 150 mi (240 km) or so. You may find more new connections this way!^{[10]
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- You might mention what you’re studying in school, what your favorite sport is, or a humorous quote.
- If you’re feeling ambitious, try the Tinder challenge, where you make a goal to date 10 new people within 1 year.^{[11]
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7

Sign up for a dating website.

Different dating websites appeal to certain types of people. Plenty of Fish (POF) is a popular dating site that’s great if you’re looking for meaningful conversations. Match is another popular option, but you’ll need to buy a subscription to have a real shot at a new connection. If you’re looking for a future spouse or partner, eHarmony might be the dating website for you.^{[12]
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- There aren’t any well-known dating sites geared specifically for small towns. Still, that doesn’t mean you won’t find success on a generic online dating platform!

8

Look for romance on your travels.

Traveling offers more possibilities than your small town has to offer. Mix and mingle while you’re in a new town or city, even if it’s for a few days. If you’re feeling really adventurous, pull out a dating app and see where things go!^{[13]
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- Try to start small, like the closest city to your hometown. This way, there’s a chance that your date may live relatively close to you.

9

Create small goals for yourself.

Set a basic goal to network with a small number of people each week. Try to hold yourself to this goal, even if it’s a little tough at first. A meaningful connection or relationship might spring up from those conversations!^{[14]
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- You might set a goal to speak to 1 new person a day, or 5 new people a week.

10

Get to know one another.

Small towns don’t offer a lot of date night options. Instead of searching for things to do in town, spend time hanging out and learning more about one another. A night of good conversation might be more intimate than seeing a movie, anyway!^{[15]
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- This isn’t to say that dinner and a movie are completely out of the question, either—you just might have to drive a longer distance.

11

Keep an open mind.

Don’t settle for a certain “type” of date. There’s nothing wrong with having a dream partner or date, but don’t let that ideal persona define your dating prospects. Step out of your comfort zone and go on dates with different kinds of people, even if they don’t immediately qualify as your type.^{[16]
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Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} You might be pleasantly surprised!^{[17]
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Expert Q&A

Question

Is it easier to find love in a small town?

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

It can be, but it sort of depends on what you're looking for in a partner. On paper, it may be harder since there are fewer potential people to date, but if you really prioritize community and getting to know someone well before you start a relationship then it may be easier.
Question

How do you meet people in a small town?

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Go online. Look for meetups in your area that focus on an activity or hobby you like. Even in a smaller town, you should still be able to find board game meetups, wine tasting events, and things like that. These tend to be great ways to meet people!
Question

Is speed dating a good way to meet people?

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Definitely! Speed dating can be a lot of fun. It's not for everybody, but if you're comfortable meeting a bunch of people all at once, this is a great way to go.