How to Be Nice to a Boy

Co-authored by John Keegan and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: February 7, 2022 References

Whether you're trying to get a guy to like you or you just got into a relationship, you might be wondering how in the world you can be nice to a boy. It’s easy to be a little mean when you’re flirting, but it’s also important to be nice, kind, and courteous to your crush or your boyfriend. Take a look at these tips to learn how you can be a good friend and partner to any boy around you. Plus, we'll give you tips on what to say around him to make him like you!

1

Put your phone away.

When you two chat, give him your full attention.^{[1]
X
Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.} Put down your phone and look him in the eyes to let him know you’re paying attention to him and him only. Try not to interrupt, and ask follow up questions to let him know you’re really listening.^{[2]
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- Listening to him will make him feel like he has your full attention and you’re not distracted by anyone else.^{[3]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.}

2

Create an inside joke with him.

Get a little goofy with a joke you two come up with. It can be something silly that happened in class, a meme that you sent him on Instagram, or just a silly nickname you like to call him. Bring up your inside joke every once in a while to remind him of the bond you share together.^{[4]
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- For instance, if your teacher accidentally said “bath class” instead of “math class,” you could say, “Oh, on your way to bath class?”

3

Post about him on social media.

Highlight the cool stuff he does for everyone to see. If he had a big game or a school performance, snap a quick pic or a video and post about it. He’ll appreciate the fact that you care about him enough to show him off to your friends and family.^{[5]
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- Even if he didn’t do anything crazy that day, you can still post about him. Say something like, “Random appreciation post.”

4

Buy him something special.

Let him know you’re thinking about him when he’s not around. If you have an early morning class together, grab him a coffee on your way in. If you’re heading out to grab a snack, pick him up some chips or candy, too.^{[6]
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- If you don’t have any money, you could even give him cool stuff that you’ve found outside! Pretty rocks or delicate seashells make cute gifts.

5

Show him affection.

A little physical touch can go a long way.^{[7]
X
Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.} If you’re laughing at a joke of his, reach over and touch him on the arm. Or, pick an imaginary hair or speck of dust off his shoulder. The closeness will bring you two together in more ways than one.^{[8]
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- If you two aren’t dating, getting a little touchy-feely is a good signal that you have feelings for him.^{[9]
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  Expert Source
  
  Candice Mostisser
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.}
- If you'd like to be extra flirty, try placing your hand over his or temporarily putting a hand on his leg.^{[10]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Candice Mostisser
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.}

6

Don’t bring up past flings.

He probably doesn’t want to hear about boys you dated in the past. If you two are talking about old relationships, it’s fine to share your story. However, if you constantly bring up people you used to like or date, he’s probably not going to feel that great.^{[11]
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- Even if you talk about them negatively, hearing about old flings can be draining. When in doubt, just don’t say anything.

7

Take him on fun adventures.

Make time to have fun together and try new things. If you’ve never been roller skating, ask him to go to the roller rink with you. If he hasn’t been hiking before, take him to your favorite trail head. The more quality time you two can spend together, the better you’ll both feel about the relationship.^{[12]
X
Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.}
- Hanging out with friends is nice, but try to set aside some time to hang out one-on-one, too. It will help you bond more and get to know each other better.^{[13]
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  Trustworthy Source
  HelpGuide
  Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
  Go to source}
- Making theoretical plans is a very effective way to flirt. For instance, if you're both talking about comedy, you might suggest going to a comedy show together sometime.^{[14]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Candice Mostisser
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.}

8

Ask him about his thoughts and feelings.

Dig a little deeper to get to know him more. What are his life plans? Does he have any long-term goals? What’s his dream job? As you two chat, feel free to open up and give him a taste of your thoughts and feelings, too.^{[15]
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- It shows him that you care about what’s going on inside his head.
- You could ask things like, “What’s your favorite subject in school?” “Do you get along with your siblings?” “What’s on your bucket list?”
- Try to ask engaging follow-up questions, too. For example, if he's talking about how much he loves cooking, you might ask about his favorite dish to make or what his cooking goals are.^{[16]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Candice Mostisser
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.}

9

Trust him.

All healthy relationships are built on trust. If he tells you something (no matter how small), try to believe him. Starting a new relationship with distrust won’t end well, so it’s important to believe that he’s being honest.^{[17]
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- If you don’t trust him because he’s been shady in the past, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.

10

Stop yourself from saying things you might regret.

Even if you apologize, there are some things you can’t take back. If you two are in a fight and you’re super angry, it might feel good to say something really cutting. However, if you hurt your boyfriend or your crush, he might not want to be with you anymore.^{[18]
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- If you feel yourself starting to get angry, take a deep breath and count backwards from 10. Or, step out of the room to collect yourself before talking again.