This article was co-authored by Suzanna Mathews. Suzanna Mathews is a Dating and Relationship Coach and the Founder of The Date Maven. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in creating mindset tools, social strategies, and digital strategies that help her clients elevate dating and deepen connections. Suzanna holds a BA in Communications from Bethel College, North Newton, and an MA in Theater and Dramatic Arts from Wichita State University.
There are 9 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Asking for a second date can be still nerve-wracking. If you conquered those jitters the first time, you should be able to ask for a second date. To make things easier, you might try asking for a date over text. It’s a fun way to ask for and plan the next date without as much pressure as talking in person.[1]
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Expert Source
Suzanna Mathews
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 18 August 2021.
We’re here to help you with a list of ways to ask for a second date by text.
Steps
“I had a great time the other night. I’d love to do it again.”
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Sometimes keeping things simple and direct is the best approach. They’ll appreciate the clear communication as it shows them they’re dealing with someone who knows what they want.[2] X Expert Source Suzanna Mathews
Dating & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 18 August 2021. If they say yes, ask follow up questions for second date ideas, and you can build your date together from there.[3] X Research source- Try adding a specific date to show your interest and get them excited for a second date on its way.
“Wanna go to that basketball game Friday night?”
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Take them somewhere you're both interested in for the second date. Go cheer on your favorite team at the next game or head out to their favorite restaurant. Appealing to their interests shows them you were paying attention on your first date and may just get you a second.[4] X Research source
“Why don't we go see that new movie this weekend?”
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The "why not" method is a good way to ask for a second date. Essentially you’re pitching them an idea for a date and asking for reasons not to go. It can be pretty difficult to do on the spot, so it might be a good way to score a yes. It might help if you ask about something they suggested.[5] X Research source
- “Why don’t we go to that restaurant you told me about?”
- “Why don’t we head to that place with the great view you wanted to check out?”
- Be careful with this one if your first date didn’t go so well. It might also be seen as coming on a bit too strong if you’re assuming the answer will be yes.
“Whoever wins gets to choose where we go on our next date.”
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Suggest a playful competition or game to determine where you'll go on your date. You don't have to have anything planned either. Just see where it goes. See who can build the better ice cream sundae or who can translate those emojis into movie titles.[6] X Research source
- If you’re not sure what to do for a second date, pick a game your date can win more easily, and let them choose. Winning puts them in a good mood, and so does having some say in what you’re doing.[7] X Research source
“I bet you can’t make me laugh that hard again.”
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Get them in the mood for a second date by reminiscing about the first. Tell them you couldn’t keep your eyes off them the entire time. Open with that funny tidbit about laughing at their joke so hard you squirted soda out your nose. It’s also a good way to hint at a second date without asking directly, and getting them in a good mood means you’re more likely to get a yes.[8] X Research source
- If your first date didn’t go as well as you planned, humor is a good way to show you’re still interested. Get them laughing about the first date after all, and you might be on your way to a second date.
“I'm gonna go to the beach this weekend, wanna join?”
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Putting more attention on what you’ll be doing will make things easier. Going with something they suggested shows you were interested in some of the same things and that you were listening on your first date This also gives them the space to suggest other ideas. Like going to the movie and then out for ice cream afterward.[9] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- If they say no, don’t be discouraged. Instead, follow up asking them if there’s something else they’d rather do. If they’ve already seen the movie and don’t feel like joining you, ask if they’d want to meet somewhere for a quick bite to discuss what you both thought.
“Do you know of any good picnicking spots around?”
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When they answer your question, follow up and ask them to go with you. This makes them more comfortable by allowing their input and making it seem like their idea to go on a second date. If they’re into sports, ask if they know any good exercise classes around or if that new park in town is worth checking out.[10] X Research source
“How about I take you to that new bakery? You’ll love it!”
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Something mutually beneficial is a great setup for a second date. This is a good way to get them excited about saying yes. A way to add to this is to suggest a place they’ve talked about like a museum with a new exhibit or a library with a guest speaker event. [11] X Research source
“Up for some bowling this weekend?”
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Sporting events are great second date ideas you can pitch over text. Something casual like a trail hike or a weekend jog is a great way to keep things light and have other people around if you’re still feeling those jitters. Try to suggest sports like jogging, dancing, or cycling to have plenty of time to spend together.[12] X Research source
“I’ll tell you the next time I see you.”
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Text them about something you can’t wait to finish telling them in person. This is a casual way to spark some intrigue and get a second date with a simple text. Start with a funny story from childhood or something wild you saw this week to get their attention. Sparking that curiosity is a good way to get them on the hook for a second date.[13] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
“When can I hear your voice again?”
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Texting might seem too shy, so you could follow up with a phone call. Asking for a second date with a call seems a bit more personal. Calling texting them with a compliment like this ready is a simple way to flirt and ask for a second date. Tell them how much you wanted to hear their voice or how great their laugh is. Phone calls are a good way to tackle those nerves and progress things a little faster than texting alone.[14] X Research source
“I bet you can’t guess where we’re going on our next date.”
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A surprise can go a long way when asking for a second date over text. Escape rooms and scavenger hunts can be great for mixing things up and trying something new. Their personalities will shine through, and you’ll get to see how clever they are.[15] X Research sourceEXPERT TIPDating CoachCher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.Cher Gopman
Dating CoachIt's okay to use emojis here and there when texting. Try not to overuse them, as that'll come off as too eager. But a little bit of emoji use will show them that you're lighthearted and fun. You should also always try to move the conversation forward as you're texting. You don't want to stick to one topic for too long, as this can become boring for the other person. Finally, don't be afraid to send a photo of somewhere that you're located that reminds you of the person for whatever reason, or say a song just came on and reminded you of the person. If you show that interest and common ground and it'll make the other person excited as well.
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References
- ↑ Suzanna Mathews. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 18 August 2021.
- ↑ Suzanna Mathews. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 18 August 2021.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/me-we/201909/the-do-s-and-don-ts-texting-in-new-relationship
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fighting-fear/201309/what-do-second-or-third-date
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201105/5-ways-indirectly-ask-date
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-online-secrets/201411/advice-four-tips-texting
- ↑ https://parade.com/1043064/marynliles/texting-games/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201105/5-ways-indirectly-ask-date
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/tips-for-finding-lasting-love.htm
- ↑ https://www.girlshealth.gov/relationships/dating/index.html
- ↑ https://www.girlshealth.gov/relationships/healthy/index.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fighting-fear/201309/what-do-second-or-third-date
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/tips-for-finding-lasting-love.htm
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/me-we/201909/the-do-s-and-don-ts-texting-in-new-relationship
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-online-secrets/201411/advice-four-tips-texting