How to Reply to a Dirty Text from a Guy

Co-authored by John Keegan

Last Updated: November 10, 2022 References

So, you check your phone and see a dirty text—what do you do?! Obviously, a lot depends on how you feel about the guy who sent it. If you're interested in him, you probably want to keep the conversation going in a sexy direction. Not feeling it? We'll help you respond to unwanted dirty texts, too!

1

Tell him what you like about his text so he keeps doing it.

Give him some positive feedback so he feels encouraged. If you know the guy is usually a little shy or reserved, he might be really nervous about sending a dirty text. Let him know that you liked it if you want him to keep sexting otherwise he might second-guess himself and stop.^{[1]
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- For instance, reply with, "I love it when you tell me what turns you on," or "You know exactly what to say to make me want you."

2

Tease him if you want to drive him crazy.

Show him your playful sexy side with a flirty text. The truth is, guys have no idea how you'll respond to a dirty text. If you want to surprise him and get in his head, have some fun! When he sends a dirty text, reply with something like, "I wonder why I'm suddenly turned on," or "Nothing turns me on like perfect grammar."^{[2]
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- Playful, teasing messages shows that you're into his dirty texts, but you don't take them too seriously. He may become more playful in return or he may up his romance game and try to seduce you that way.

3

Text him something suggestive to create anticipation.

Turn the tables and hint at meeting up. You'll sound confident and eager to see him. For example, a response like, "I can't wait for you to see me tonight," suggests that he's going to like what he sees. He'll start wondering what that means and before he knows it, he can't stop thinking about you!
- You could also reply with a text like, "You'll never guess what I just bought. Too bad you'll have to wait until tonight to find out..."

4

Ask him to tell you more if you're into his texts.

Keep the conversation going if you're into his texts! If you're not really sure how to text back or you're a little hesitant about sexting, just ask him for more. Sure, this puts the ball back in his court, but it shows him that you're receptive to his advances.^{[3]
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- For example, you could reply to his dirty text with, "Oh, yeah? Tell me more," or, "Why don't you describe what you'd like to do?"

5

Text an innocent response if you're a little shy.

It's totally fine to be honest if you don't know how to respond. It takes some confidence to send a dirty text and if you're not up to it, take things slow. You won't embarrass yourself by replying with a text like:
- "I don't know what to say—you make me feel incredible."
- "I'm turning so red right now."
- "I've never had someone say that to me before."

6

Be bold and direct if you want to keep the conversation going.

Match the level of his text to encourage sexy banter. He's probably hoping you'll play along so send a dirty text right back! For example, if he texts about things he's been imagining, you might reply with, "Clearly I've been on your mind...want to get together?”^{[4]
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- You could also say something like, "I can't stop thinking some very naughty things about you either. Can you help me?" or "Been thinking about you, too...and it hasn't been PG."

7

Send a romantic text to spice up your relationship.

This is great if you're in a long-term relationship. If you've been together for a while, dirty texts can be fun, but you can also use them to deepen your connection with the guy. When he sends a dirty text, you could send a romantic response like:^{[5]
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- "I want you to touch me like that too. When you touch me, it feels like electricity through my body."
- "No one makes me feel like you do."
- "I want you here making love to me."

8

Reply with a sexy picture if you know him really well.

Share a shot or text a visual description if you want to escalate things. Be as revealing as you'd like—you could send a picture of your little black dress riding up your thigh or a photo of you in a slip that doesn't hide anything.^{[6]
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- If you're not into sending photos, you could always describe something sexy. For instance, text him, "Ugh, my favorite lingerie is getting just a little too tight. It shows off everything!"
- Do not send naked photos if you're not in a serious or committed relationship with the guy. There's just too much risk that those photos could spread beyond your control. He might show them to his friends or threaten you with them if the relationship ends badly.

9

Try playful deflection if you're not quite ready for dirty texts.

Let him know that you don't know each other well enough. If you don't want to come off as prudish, reply in a way that shows he needs to get to know you better before you're willing to text dirty. It's a great way to earn his respect since you're showing him that you have standards that you're willing to uphold. Here are some great texts to send:^{[7]
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John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 28 September 2021.}
- "I think you have me confused with a girl you know better."
- "Nice try! But we're definitely not there yet."
- "Looks like you're thinking of a future me who's been on many more dates with you."

10

Send an unsexy message if you want him to stop.

Switching gears shows that you're not receptive to the dirty texts. If you feel like he's pushing you too far or too fast with explicit messages, you can completely redirect the conversation by not giving him what he wants. For instance, if he asks for a shower picture, put on your biggest robe and a shower cap for the shot. He should get the idea that you're not playing!^{[9]
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John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 28 September 2021.}
- For example, if he asks you to tell him what you're wearing, say, "My favorite old sweatshirt and a pair of jeans," instead of playing along and saying something sexy.
- This also lets him see that you have boundaries and you don't like being pushed. He should respect that and adjust his text messages to make you more comfortable.
- You can always change the subject by asking "What was your day like?" or "Did you do anything interesting today?"^{[11]
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  Expert Source
  
  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 28 September 2021.}

11

Tell him to stop if you don't want to get dirty texts.

Shoot him down if this is unwanted behavior. If he's not taking the hint that you're uncomfortable, don't be afraid to be firm with your boundaries! If his dirty texts make you feel uncomfortable, clearly message back something like, "No thanks," or, "Not interested." You don't have to explain yourself—simply let him know that you don't appreciate those kinds of texts.^{[12]
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- You don't owe him an explanation, but it's alright to text something like, "Disappointed you think this is okay. I'm going to pass."

12

Block the guy if he doesn't respect your boundaries.

Draw the line and cut him off since he's not listening to you. A guy should be totally receptive to your wishes and if he keeps making you uncomfortable, then he's not worth it! You can block him without saying anything or send him a text beforehand to explain why you're blocking him.^{[13]
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- For example, text him, "I asked you to stop sending me dirty texts and you keep doing it. I'm blocking you now."

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you reject dirty talk?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Depending on the situation, you don't want to necessarily smack them down. So, instead of simply saying “No”, try asking them a question so that you can know each other on a deeper level before moving on to the dirty talk.
Question

How do you respond to unwanted flirting text?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

You can just deflect the flirting by saying something like, “Hey, I see you're feeling frisky but I'm more of a kind of girl who likes to get to know someone on a deeper level before I start feeling frisky like that”.