How to Know if You Like a Guy

Co-authored by Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Last Updated: June 1, 2022 References

Determining whether or not you like a guy can be a complex and confusing process. As you figure out your true feelings for him, remain honest with yourself. Spend time reflecting—take your feelings, actions, and reactions into consideration. Seek advice from those who know you best!

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Processing Your Feelings

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Remain honest with yourself. Devote time to taking inventory of your life. Determine if your feelings towards this guy are genuine or a means of distraction. Ask yourself hard questions and provide yourself with honest answers.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.}
- Do you find yourself daydreaming about him?
- Do you tend to stare at him?
- Have you engineered ways to “accidentally” bump into him in public or at school?
- Are all of your friends in relationships and you feel left out?
- Did your crush develop at a convenient time, like just before a dance or a month before Valentine’s Day?
2
Keep a journal. While you determine whether or not you like a guy, keep a daily journal. Write about your interactions with him. Describe how you feel when you see him. Note if those feelings carry you through the rest of your day or dissipate shortly after you part ways. Jot down any daydreams; keep track of any hopes you have for a future with him. At the end of each week, re-read your journal entries to evaluate your feelings.

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3
Talk to your best friend. Turn to your best friend—the person who knows you the best—for advice. Discuss your feelings with your best friend. Disclose why you are unsure if you like this guy. After you have talked, listen. Allow your best friend to provide you with feedback. Your best friend’s response may upset you, challenge you, or confirm how you truly feel. Take time to process their feedback.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Evaluating Changes in Your Behavior

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Assess how frequently you talk about him. When the guy you like is always on your mind, his name tends to enter into every conversation. If you can not stop talking about him, it might be a sign that you can’t get him off your mind and you like him more than you think you do!^{[2]
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- Have your friends or family members called you out on talking about him constantly?
- Do you find yourself making the most obscure connections between his life and every topic you discuss?
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Determine if you have new interests. Have you recently developed new interests; interests that just so happen to be shared with the guy you may like? If you have started participating in new activities or developed a sudden interest in an obscure topic as a way to impress him, you might have a crush on him!^{[3]
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- Did you join a club just to spend more time with him?
- Have you started reading his favorite books just so you have something to talk to him about?
- Did you binge-watch his favorite show so you could reference it in conversations with him?
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Evaluate if you are extra conscious of your appearance and actions. When you like a guy, you may feel extremely self-conscious about your appearance and actions—you strive to present the most attractive, confident, fun, and flirty version of yourself to him. You may spend more time picking out the perfect outfit or styling your hair. You might replay your conversation with him over and over in your head in order to analyze what you could have said differently. If you have become extremely concerned about impressing him with your looks and actions, you might have a major crush on this guy!^{[4]
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Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Assessing Your Interactions with Him

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Examine your reactions to him. Your reactions to his presence, touch, and voice are telling! If you are genuinely excited to see him, have a strong reaction to his physical presence, and could chat with him for hours on end, chances are you like him. If your feelings and reactions are indifferent, you likely just aren’t that into him.^{[5]
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- When you run into your crush, do you get flutters of excitement in your stomach or a sinking feeling? Do you blush when he speaks to you?^{[6]
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- Do you feel tingly and flushed when his body brushes against yours?
- If he calls, texts, or messages you, do you smile and answer immediately or do you ignore his attempts to contact you? When you talk to him, do you dread the end of the conversation or welcome its conclusion?^{[7]
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2
Evaluate how much time you spend together. The amount of time you spend with your crush is a great barometer of how you truly feel about him. If you are intentionally creating time in your schedule to see him, engineering ways to “bump” into him, or obsessing about the next time you will see him, you may be interested in him. If, however, you make very little effort to spend time with him, the relationship may not be a priority to you.^{[8]
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Determine if you’re jealous. When you are crushing on a guy, it is often difficult to see him flirt or talk to other people. When jealousy rears its ugly head, it is a sign that you have developed romantic feelings towards him. If you begin to feel territorial towards him—you have to know where he is, who he is with, and what he is doing at all times—you may be interested in being more than friends with him. If you aren’t upset when he flirts with others, perhaps you aren’t the jealous type or maybe you aren’t interested in being exclusive with him.^{[9]
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Consider if you notice the little things about him. When you like a guy, you often get to know the most minute, arbitrary details about him. You may know how he likes his coffee or what he gets on a sandwich. You might be aware of his favorite band or movie. Perhaps, you are aware of his odd phobia.^{[10]
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Research source} When you learn and retain the little details about someone’s life, you are invested in getting to know that person on an intimate level.^{[11]
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