Ask your match these questions to start an engaging conversation and see if your chemistry is off the charts

Your phone pings with a notification that you have a new match on Hinge. Based on their profile, it looks like you’d vibe, but what can you ask them to make sure you’re actually compatible? Whether you’re looking for a casual connection or a serious relationship, we’ve compiled a list of meaningful questions to help you get to know your match on any dating app. And because getting to know each other should be fun, we’ve also included some funny and flirty questions to spark a more light-hearted conversation.

Things You Should Know

  • Ask about their ideal weekend and favorite shows and music to see if your interests and lifestyles are compatible.
  • Find out if your values align by asking about their goals, passions, and role models.
  • See if your physical connection is a match by asking about their ideal date and turn-ons.
  • Spark a funny conversation with a game of “Would you rather.”
1

“What’s your favorite movie, TV show, or book?”

  1. Get your conversation started by asking about their favorite things. They might prefer fantasy shows while you’re a die-hard sci-fi fan, which can lead to a really fun and engaging conversation! Plus, this can give you insight into what they’re interested in.[1]
    • Asking questions back-to-back can often come across like an interview. To have a more natural, free-flowing conversation, dive deeper into a single topic. Asking why it's their favorite movie can lead to a conversation about their passions, childhood experiences, and personal beliefs.
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2

“Why’d you swipe on my profile?”

  1. Ask why they swiped to see if they want a serious or casual relationship. This is a flirty way to ask why they’re on Hinge or Bumble and can help you weed out incompatible matches. If you’re looking for a thoughtful, serious relationship and your match just compliments your looks, this might hint that you’re not looking for the same things.
    • If they ask you this question back, be thoughtful about why you matched with them. People can usually tell if you’re giving a copy-paste answer. Look at their profile answers and pictures to pick out things that drew you to them and that you are curious to learn more about.
5

“What’s your favorite restaurant in town?”

  1. The foods and flavors they like can tell you more about who they are. Maybe they prefer the comforts of home and simply enjoy a great slice of pizza. They might like the nightlife scene and trying the hottest new restaurants in your city. Or, they could be an adventurous eater who knows all the best hole-in-the-wall spots.
    • If you’re looking to date, use the app to meet your matches in person! Once you’ve established that you’re interested, you can easily ask your match on a date by following up their answer with “So, can I take you there sometime then?”
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12

“Are you close with your family?"

  1. Family dynamics and values have a huge impact on who they are. Who they were raised by, whether they have siblings, and how often they see their family can tell you a lot about their background and why they are the person they are today.
    • While it’s okay if you don’t have the same type of relationship with your families, it’s a good idea to figure out if your beliefs and values match.
    • Ask this question after you’ve gotten to know your match better. Families can be sensitive and complicated, so you want to save this once you are comfortable and more vulnerable with each other.
15

“Who is your role model?”

  1. Who they admire can show you the values that are important to them. To make a potential relationship work, you and your match need to share compatible beliefs about life and work.[3] If you're a tech-savvy business person and your match is inspired by Steve Jobs, that might tell you that they’re also hardworking and dedicated to their job.[4]
    • This can also be a great question to highlight any relationship deal breakers or potential red flags. If your match is influenced by someone who goes against your beliefs or values, they probably aren’t compatible with you.
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23

“What do you like better: kisses or cuddles?”

30

“Would you rather jump or skip instead of walking?”

  1. Get to know them better with a funny game of “Would you rather.” There’s nothing better than sending them a random question and seeing how they react. It’s a great way to see how they think and spark a funny conversation about why they think one option is better than the other. Get them laughing with other questions like:
    • “Would you rather live on the moon or under water?”
    • “Would you rather travel to the past or the future?”
    • “Would you rather have to whisper or shout when you talk?”
    • “Would you rather be 20% smarter or 20% more attractive?”
    • “Would you rather only be able to listen to music or watch TV?”

About This Article

Christina Jay, NLP
Co-authored by:
Matchmaker & Certified Life Coach
This article was co-authored by Christina Jay, NLP and by wikiHow staff writer, Devin McSween. Christina Jay is a Matchmaker and Certified Life Coach based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Christina is the founder of Preferred Match (preferredmatch.ca), her matchmaking service that finds love for successful and elite individuals. She has over 10 years of coaching experience, earned her NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) certification through NLP Canada Training, and has a BA in Business Administration from Brock University. This article has been viewed 39,019 times.
5 votes - 44%
Co-authors: 4
Updated: February 10, 2023
Views: 39,019
Categories: Online Dating
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