No question describes the dating app experience better than “What in the world do I say!?” That question is especially real on Hinge, where a user can like you and say nothing or they can like you and send the first message all at once. In either case, we’ve got you covered! We’ve put together a thorough list of ways to respond to a like when it’s up to you to send the first message, and how to respond when the other person starts things off. If you’re ready to woo your matches and rake in the replies, read on!

2

Ask them a question.

  1. Ask them something interesting to get the conversation started. Questions show you want to know more about them and are more likely to get a response than a simple greeting or statement. Ask about something you notice in their profile or about some lighthearted local events (if you’re in the same area). Include their name to sound friendlier.[2]
    • “Enjoying this lovely weather we’re having?”
    • “Hey! Did you really make that rainbow cake in your picture? It looks profesh!”
    • “Hi Jordan, are you loving the first beach day of the year?”
    • “How are you today, Rebecca?”
3

Find out why they’re on an app.

  1. Ask them what they want to get out of Hinge. A like means they’re interested in you, but you’ll want to know more about their motivation for online dating before you take things too far. Keep your tone light and jokey—the apps are meant to be fun, after all!—and share what you’re looking for if you want.[3]
    • “So what brings you on here?”
    • “*pulls out magnifying glass* So what are you looking for on here?”
    • “Hey there! What brings you to Hinge on this rainy afternoon?”
    • “Hi! Love your profile. Are you more of an LTR person or a casual dates person? I’m looking to settle down myself.”
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4

React to their prompts.

  1. Respond to one of their prompt answers if you’re sending the first message. Hinge has a ton of prompts for users to share more about themselves and show some personality, like “I know the best spot in town for…” or “A random fact I love is…” Skim through your liker’s answers and react to something that sticks out to you.[4]
    • “The best spot in town for sweet potato tater tots!? Please share 🤤”
    • “Your 2 truths and a lie answer is tough…I’m guessing you never actually went to the moon, but I could be wrong 😂”
    • “I love Mike and Ikes too! They always remind me of my hometown movie theater.”
    • “That’s some random fact! I’m gonna pull that one out at parties for sure.”
5

Point out the pics you like.

6

Highlight your similarities.

  1. Point out something you have in common based on their profile. Maybe it’s their answer to the prompt “I want someone who…” or they have a photo of them hiking in your favorite national park. Anything you have in common is a great starting point for a chat.[6] Just keep it honest—there’s no use building a connection around something untrue.[7]
    • “You like cats over dogs? Same!”
    • “Is that a Gemini hoodie you’re wearing? That’s my sign too ♊”
    • “Nice pic of you at the Eiffel Tower. I’ve been there too, it’s amazing!”
    • “Love that you’re looking for an LTR, I am too”
8

Compliment them.

  1. Try complimenting your liker whether they included a message or not. This shows you’re interested or attracted to them, and they’ll be encouraged to respond. Respectfully comment on their appearance in their photos or tell them how interesting or funny their prompt answers are. If they complimented you first, say “thanks” and send one back to them, too.[9]
    • “You’ve got the funniest prompt answers I’ve seen all month lol”
    • “Hey there. You’ve got a beautiful smile!”
    • “Aw thanks! You’re pretty cute yourself :)”
    • “An award-winning composer? You’re really talented!”
9

Answer questions with humor.

  1. Send a creative, witty answer if they opened with a question for you. A simple “yes” or “no” answer doesn’t encourage lively conversation or say a lot about you.[10] Inject some personality into your reply with interesting details and humor.[11] For example:
    • Them: “Wow, did you really paint that apple tree? It looks amazing!”
    • You: “I sure did! I was at a paint-and-sip for a bachelorette party, so I had a lot of help from the instructor (and from the wine, too haha). Do you paint?”
    • Them: “I haven’t really tried. Maybe I just haven’t found the right wine to get me going”
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10

Flirt with them.

  1. When all else fails, go for a flirty opener. Try respectfully complimenting your liker’s appearance or initiating a playful challenge. If you can relate it to one of their pictures or prompts, that’s perfect! If your liker sent you a teasing comment first, try to match their energy—misreading something as flirty or horny when it’s not is an easy way to end the conversation.[12]
    • “Oh hey, do you come here often? 😉”
    • “Not you looking fresh as hell in that suit 😏”
    • “Take a guess at which photo made me want to talk to you (hint: all of them 😍)
    • “If you could have dinner with me or me, who would you choose?”
12

Follow up if they don’t reply.

13

Match with them.

  1. If your liker didn’t send a message, you can match without saying anything. This indicates that you want them to start the conversation (they’ll even get a bubble that says “Your Turn” next to your name). Matching like this says you might be interested, but aren’t super invested (or that you’re only interested in finding matches, not chatting).[15]
    • If no one feels like initiating the conversation, it’s unlikely this match will go anywhere.
    • If your liker did include a message when they liked you, responding like this might seem cold or even rude. If you can, send a thoughtful reply to start a quality conversation.
    • If you’ve matched and sent them a message but they haven’t responded, consider unmatching them after about 48 hours. They might not be checking the app or they just might not be serious about dating.[16]
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Expert Q&A

  • Question
    How do I keep a Hinge conversation fun?
    Mark Rosenfeld
    Mark Rosenfeld
    Dating & Relationship Coach
    Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach for women and founded Make Him Yours in 2015. Mark specializes in helping people find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, News.com.au, and The Good Men Project. Mark’s dating videos have received over 60 million views, and his book “Make Him Yours – Beating the Odds of Modern Dating” was a best-seller on Amazon on its release.
    Mark Rosenfeld
    Dating & Relationship Coach
    Expert Answer
    Include more details to add some energy to your messages. For example, "I went on a ski trip to Colorado last week" can come off as a little boring. Instead, you could write, "Oh my gosh, I just came back from Colorado and had the most amazing time there. We saw the cutest little bear. And he was running around with his mom and oh my god, I was in heaven." The additional details and energy make the conversation more exciting.
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About This Article

Mark Rosenfeld
Co-authored by:
Dating & Relationship Coach
This article was co-authored by Mark Rosenfeld and by wikiHow staff writer, Dan Hickey. Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach for women and founded Make Him Yours in 2015. Mark specializes in helping people find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, News.com.au, and The Good Men Project. Mark’s dating videos have received over 60 million views, and his book “Make Him Yours – Beating the Odds of Modern Dating” was a best-seller on Amazon on its release. This article has been viewed 60,911 times.
3 votes - 100%
Co-authors: 5
Updated: March 31, 2022
Views: 60,911
Categories: Online Dating
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