How to Start a Conversation on Hinge

Co-authored by Maya Diamond, MA and Aly Rusciano

Last Updated: February 18, 2023 References

You just matched with someone on Hinge—how exciting! This is the first step towards a thriving relationship. But now what do you do? Starting a conversation on Hinge can be a piece of cake once you’ve Matched and know what to do. In this article, we’ll fill you in on all the best ways you can get and keep a conversation going on Hinge.

1

Like their profile.

To start a conversation, you need a mutual Like. Similar to other dating apps, the only way you can message someone on Hinge is if they Like your profile too.^{[1]
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Research source} So, get Liking!
- You can see who’s liked your profile in the Likes You tab.^{[2]
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- To Match with someone you’ve mutually liked, simply tap the Match Button, and their profile will be moved to Matches.

2

Comment on their profile prompt answers.

Each Hinge profile features interview-like questions you can respond to. Rather than generic bios, Hinge lets users personalize what they want to share on their profile. This feature sets Hinge apart from other dating apps and gives you something to break the ice with.^{[3]
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- “Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who’s never had a fast food burger.”
- “You want someone who looks at you like you look at pizza? Lucky for you, I love pizza.”
- Make sure to add plenty of prompts to your profile too! These will help your Match as much as theirs help you.

3

Comment on a profile picture.

Let them know one of their pictures speaks to you. A Hinge profile must have at least 6 photos, giving you plenty of things to comment on.^{[4]
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Research source} Try asking where they are in the picture, inquiring about a skill in the image, or complimenting what they’re wearing.^{[5]
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- “Sweet hat! Where’d you get it?”
- “That climb looks treacherous. Did you ever make it to the top?”
- Your Match will be notified when you comment on their photos or prompts, so get those questions ready!

4

React to their interests and hobbies.

Use prompts to spark a like-minded conversation. When scrolling through your Match’s profile, message them about any similar interests, hobbies, or dislikes. This is a great way to let them know, “Hey, we have something in common!” while also starting a deeper conversation.
- “Couldn’t agree more. Pineapple on pizza is simply a sin.”
- “Saw your pic holding a lightsaber (epic btw). Where do you stand on Reylo?”
- Expressing common interests can help you bond and ease any awkwardness right away.

5

Ask them an open-ended question.

Open-ended questions require explanation, making them a foolproof way to get a conversation going. When you first start talking to your Match, stick with questions that require some elaboration, something more than a “yes” or “no.” This will give you a better sense of who the person is and let you connect. Try asking them something like:
- “Who’s your celebrity crush?”
- “What’s your favorite ice cream topping?”
- “What do you like to do in your free time?”

6

Compliment them.

Get the conversation rolling with why you like them. Your Match has caught your eye for a reason. Maybe it’s their bright eyes, gorgeous smile, or sense of humor. Take what drew you to them and start the conversation with a flattering compliment.Try complimenting them by saying:
- “Your smile is contagious.”
- “Your taste in literature is exquisite.”
- “I don’t think I’ve laughed so many times reading a profile than when I read yours.”

7

Play a game of “would you rather.”

A “would you rather” question can help you skip the small talk. This simple yet fun game is a great way to learn more about your Match and get a better idea if you’re compatible. Not to mention that every answer can lead to a follow-up question, helping the conversation continue way past introductions! Here are some questions to get you started:^{[6]
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- “Would you rather control the future or change the past?”
- “Would you rather have all the time or money you could dream of?”
- “Would you rather spend the weekend watching Netflix or going out on the town?”

8

Say “hi” and ask them about their day.

Sometimes, a bit of small talk can get the conversation started. If you’re nervous about messaging your Match and don’t know what to say, that’s okay! Start by saying “hi,” telling them about your day, and then asking about theirs. Their response will give you something to branch off from, and before you know it, you’ll be having a full-on conversation. Check out some of these starters:
- “Today just got a whole lot better when you commented on my pic. How’s life?”
- “Hey! Your Like brightened this gloomy day. How are you spending this rainy day?”
- “Hi! Matching with you has made this awesome day even better! How’s your day going so far?”

9

Share a joke.

Break the ice with a clever comment. If your Match seems to have a good send of humor, why not share some of your own? Jokes are an easy and fun way to show off a bit of your personality and get them chuckling—bonus points if you can tie in something from their profile into a joke. Consider starting your conversation with one of these corny jokes:
- “Are you a keyboard? Because you’re my type.”
- “Why do bartenders use blenders? To break the ice.”
- “Do you want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind. It’s too cheesy.”

10

Stay positive.

An optimistic attitude can go a long way when starting a Hinge conversation. Rather than focusing on what’s ailing you in real life right away, concentrate on the positives. This is your Match’s first time talking with you, so stay clear of complaints and aim for positivity.
- Everyone has different experiences with dating apps, but why create a negative experience for someone else if you can help it?
- Online dating can leave people feeling frustrated rather than hopeful, so help cultivate a good experience by being friendly even if things don’t turn out in the end.^{[7]
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  Pew Research Center
  Nonpartisan thinktank conducting research and providing information on public opinion, demographic trends, and social trends
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11

Be respectful.

Your Match will want to have a conversation if you consider their feelings. The last thing anyone wants to do is talk to someone rude and inconsiderate. Staying optimistic, courteous, and open when talking to someone new can leave a lasting first impression.
- Showing respect on Hinge can look like showing a genuine interest in them and their wellbeing or ending a conversation if they say they’re no longer interested.
- You want your Match to keep messaging you, so think about how you want to be treated and offer them the same respect.

12

Suggest moving the conversation off Hinge.

If you’re vibing with your Match, ask for their number. Phone and video calls are a step up from in-app messaging and can help you dive into deeper conversations in real time. Plus, you can start setting up an in-person date.^{[8]
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Research source} Consider saying something like:
- “It would be fun to meet up! What’s you number?”
- “I’d love to hear all about it. Want to swap numbers so we can chat?”
- “I bet you have the best laugh. Why don’t we move this convo to the phone?”