How to Make a Guy Like You (Pre Teens)

Co-authored by John Keegan

Last Updated: February 17, 2023 References Approved

So you're a pre-teen and you probably don't have that much experience with guys yet. You're dying to get a guy to like you, however, and you don't know how. The following article teaches you how to get a guy to notice and then like you!

Part 1

Part 1 of 4:

Getting Close to Him

1
Get him to notice you. If he looks at you a lot, it probably means he's interested, but if not yet, then just keep trying using the steps below. They will help you quite a bit in becoming his friend, but if you're shy, maybe you should try and make friends with his friends and work up from there. Get close to him so that he starts noticing you right away. If you really like him, make sure he really notices you
- Laugh a lot. This always gets a guy's attention. Just don't be crazy about it, laughing every ten seconds at anything he says could make you seem unreal. Also, smile a lot, not so much that it's cheesy, but show him you are confident with yourself.
- Find out what he likes doing and be there doing the same thing. Do you both like sports, or maybe science? If you can, be in the same place with him doing the same activity.
2
Let him know you are there. Say "Hi!" and "Bye!" and be friendly. Wave at him. When he replies back to you, you know he's noticed you. Don't expect any guy to notice you just because you are there; it doesn't always work that way. So don't be afraid to talk to him.
- Ask him if he could help you with the homework, even if you don't need help.
- Ask him how his weekend went, and what he did.
- Tell him about parties, events, or get-togethers that you're having.
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3
Become comfortable around him. Don't blurt out random things like "What do you do after school?" He might think you are a stalker. Just be yourself, don't be someone you're not.
- If you are in one of his classes, and he sits near you, score! If he doesn't, that's okay. You can sit near him. Ask him to be your partner whenever you can.
- If you can see he has a problem, no matter how big or small, be there for him. Find ways to let him know you want to talk with him about anything. Notes, IM, texting, etc. can work.
4
Try some style changes if he doesn't notice you. Most guys are attracted to confident and stylish girls. You don't have to be a supermodel! Just try to boost your confidence — you are beautiful, clever, popular, and sweet.^{[1]
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- Treat yourself to some new clothes. You don't need to grab a whole new wardrobe to get noticed. A few stylish items (seasonal, of course) will help you stand out.
- Get a new haircut. Talk with your stylist or your mom's stylist about maybe changing up your hair. How would it look short? What if you layered it a bit? Consider these things in order to get noticed.
- Do you need to drop a few pounds? Talk with your mom about whether you can join a gym or sports team. Even if you don't need to lose weight, staying in shape or losing something as small as half a pound will make you feel great, but if he doesn't accept you the way you are, than he isn't right for you. His loss!

Part 2

Part 2 of 4:

Becoming His Friend

1
Start by building a friendship. When he starts to let you get close to him, be friends first. There is no such thing as a girlfriend who isn't first and foremost a friend. In fact, the best girlfriend is one who is not always romantic, but one that is a friend.
2
Find value in his opinions and suggestions. This does not mean betraying or belittling your own beliefs. Yours are every bit as important as his. Discuss them when you can.^{[2]
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- Listen to what he has to say. Always hear him out. Take the opportunity to learn new facts about him. Respect what he says but form your own opinions about them.
- Have conversations with him. Attraction often starts when we have a great emotional connection with someone by really bonding with him. Try to have interesting, funny, playful conversations with him to establish that bond. It doesn't matter what you talk about. The important thing is that you have meaningful interaction.
  - Ask him about his background — his parents, his childhood, his siblings. These things are personal, so be respectful. Offer to share your own background to give him a better idea of who you are.
  - Ask him about his goals — what he always dreamed about being, what he's interested in, what makes him happy. You can learn a lot about a person from his goals. Start thinking about your own goals so that you can share them with him.
3
Do not speak badly of him around friends. No matter how much you trust your friends, if they ever become mad at you they could go behind your back and tell him something you said about him.
- Stick up for him if he gets teased or involved in a fight. Don't let him wonder whether or not you're his friend — make it absolutely clear.
- Don't gossip about him. Gossip has a way of spreading like wildfire. You don't want juicy stuff getting back to him quite yet. Shut down the gossip.
4
Get close with his friends, if possible. Small talk is fine in the beginning; you don't want to rush into it, or else it will seem weird. But smile, be nice, and talk with his friends. He'll want you to get along with them.
5
Start doing things together. You might have to be the one who asks him, but if he agrees, it won't matter that you're the one asking him.
- At first, hang out with a group of people. Go to the beach or lake together; hang out at the skate park; go to a football game as a group.
- Here are some other options of teen-friendly things you can do:
  - Go to an amusement park (roller-coasters, mini-golf, arcade games, etc).
  - Go to the movies.
  - Go to the state fair.
  - Hang out after school. (Sometimes, the best times are when you're not doing anything, just hanging out.)

Part 3

Part 3 of 4:

Dropping Hints that You are Interested

1
Start dropping hints. When the two of you are comfortable, it might be okay to drop a few hints that you are interested in becoming more than an ordinary friend. Notes work. Texts work, but a handwritten note is best. that way he'll have a keepsake from you.^{[3]
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- Ask him to hold your backpack or carry your books to the next class. See what he does.
- Ask him to a dance. Sadie-Hawkins dance, if you have one, would be the perfect opportunity: The girl is supposed to ask the guy.
- Borrow something from him and then invite him to hang out by saying something like, "I still have your raincoat, can we meet so you can pick it up?"
- Flirt with him. There are a bunch of ways to flirt with him:
  - Flirt with your eyes. Lock his eyes with yours and smile at him sweetly. Hold his eyes a little longer than normal.
  - Flirt with touch. Gently touch his shoulder with your hand when you talk with him.
  - Flirt with words. Tell him that he's good at sports, or compliment him on his new haircut. He'll be thrilled that you noticed.
  - Hold his hand. This should make it really clear to him you are interested.
  - Hug him more tightly than a friend hug, and maybe just a little more often.
2
Don't get down if he doesn't respond. Some guys your own age might not get the hint. Girls do usually reach puberty earlier than guys, so girls usually reach that level of emotional maturity earlier as well.^{[4]
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3
Ask for his phone number. Be casual about it: "Hey, I realized I didn't have your phone number." Establishing a friendship outside of school or extracurriculars will be important.
- Wait for him to call you. You don't want to come on too strong by talking too much once he does; not everyone enjoys talking on the phone quite as much as others do, so it's a good idea to match his pace, especially if he seems a little reluctant to talk for a long time.
- Text him kind of regularly, just for simple conversation. Don't make it pointless, however, because a lot of guys don't like small-talk.
- Flirt with him with texts (Facebook, IM, and emails will also work). Say something like "I didn't know you'd singlehandedly destroy the football team on Friday. Nice work!"
4
Be patient. Guys will often let you know if he's interested in you or not without putting any words to it. There will be a part of you that will be able to tell by instinct.
- Be on the lookout for signs that he's nervous around you. It could mean he likes you. Does he:
  - Sweat or blush when he talks to you? It could be his body saying that he's into you.
  - Look at you and then look away when you catch him staring? He can't get enough of your looks, and he's day-dreaming.
  - Constantly hang around you, but not with you? It could be we wants to look at and be around you, but doesn't want you to know.
5
Be aware of more obvious signs that he likes you. If he's hugging or holding hands with you, then you're golden. He likes you. But here are some other signs in case you're not completely sure.^{[5]
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- Do his pupils dilate when he looks at you? Sometimes his eyes will change color slightly.
- Does he touch you, offer to give you piggybacks, or bump into you randomly? He could want to get any excuse to touch you because he likes you.
- Gulp loudly or stumble around with his words? His heart is pumping hard and he's worried about messing up.
- Don't trust too many other minute-by-minute changes to his anatomy. Some of those changes, even the more obvious ones, are completely random in very young men for several years.
6
Tell him, if he still doesn't get the hint. Remember, it's better to have tried and failed than to never try in the first place. Wait for the right moment. You'll pretty much know when the time comes.
- If you are ready to ask him out don't say it in front of a group or something or he might say no.
- Be calm, cool and collected while you're asking him. Make eye contact with him and remember to smile. Be confident. It's really hard to ask him, but you're up for the challenge, aren't you?
- Ask him if he wants to go to the movies or grab a bite to eat. You don't have to call it a date for it to be a date.
7
Try not to sweat it, if he's not interested. Yes, it will feel bad for a time. No, it won't last forever. Remind yourself of all that you have to offer. There will be plenty of other guys.^{[6]
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- If he says "no," just smile and walk away with your emotions covered up.
- Try not to be awkward around him or mean to him. Staying classy might cause him to reconsider.

Part 4

Part 4 of 4:

Starting Your Relationship

1
Don't take any major steps in the beginning. For instance, kiss him when he says yes to being your boyfriend, but then for the first week or so settle with hugging and holding hands. If he wants to kiss you, go ahead!
- If he kisses you, don't make it a passionate kiss the first time. You want him to be interested in kissing you again, so only give him a little taste the first time.
- Don't let him pressure you into anything. Relationships are about mutual respect, not one person getting something the other isn't comfortable with.
2
Don't talk about breakups or bad scenarios. At the beginning of a relationship, some people think it's a brilliant idea to make a pact that they'll still be friends when we break-up. Don't do this.
- This gives the guy a sense of security, so generally he won't be heartbroken to lose you.
- Plus, it's weird to talk about breakups in the beginning. How do you know what you'll be feeling when you break up? You just don't know. Talk about happier things.
- Instead of talking about the relationship, just be in the relationship. This will help the guy out. Sometimes, it's better and easier to act instead of talk.
3
Give him some space and freedom at times. Guys need some space. Just because he's hanging out with his friends doesn't mean he doesn't like you, or that he likes someone else.^{[7]
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- Let him see his friends. Don't become clingy. Yes, spend a substantial time together in the afternoon or weekends, but let him see his friends at school.
- If he never makes time for you, however, that's a warning sign. Make sure that he gives you enough time. He should want to be with you if he's in a relationship with you, you might just have to tell him that you need him to pay more attention to you.
- Don't get upset every time he talks to another girl. Guys are allowed to talk to other girls, just not flirt or go over the line with them. Trust him until he gives you a reason not to.
4
Don't overdo Facebook and Twitter. Don't obsessively talk with him all night on social networks or MSN. If you don't talk to him every second, it will make him want to talk to you even more!
- Spend most of your time talking in person or on the phone. It's okay to call him every other or every third night. You don't want an awkward internet-relationship where you don't feel comfortable with one another in person.
- It's okay to send him sweet messages every once in a while. Make them surprises. If you do it irregularly, he'll be even more excited. Don't always expect a response.
5
Make sure there's equality in the relationship. Don't let him treat you like a doormat. You're a living, breathing human being, and you deserve respect.
- Don't let him boss you around or tell you what to do. Stand up for yourself when you need to.
- Love yourself first. If you can't love yourself, it's hard to love him. You'll find a lot of things you like and dislike about yourself in a relationship. They're like mirrors.
  - Change the things about yourself that you dislike, and guard the things about yourself that you like.Relationships are about two people. If you're doing all the work and he just sits back and enjoys it, you're not doing yourself any favors.
- Make sure he shows you affection, too. You deserve respect and consideration. Make sure he knows this.
6
Try to be mature, if you break up. Breakups happen all the time; there's still a chance that you could get back together, or if there's not, there are plenty of other guys out there.^{[8]
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- There's no need to unfriend him on Facebook or MSN. Just unsubscribe from him and don't talk to him.
- Be friendly but distant. You want to be nice to him, but you don't want him to get any ideas. You want him to feel stupid that you ever broke up in the first place.
- Hold your head high. You're growing into a beautiful young lady. Be confident about who you are and people will appreciate you.

Warnings

Don't be rude when he tries to talk to you just because you don't want him to know you like him

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Do not change yourself for a guy. He should appreciate who you really are. Not someone you are pretending to be.

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Don't do things you are very uncomfortable about doing just to get him to like you.

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Don't constantly avoid his presence, or avoid talking to him! He may feel like you do not care about his feelings for you if you stay too far away. Make sure you are confident around him, and he'll feel confident around you.

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Don't be jealous if he talks to other girls instead of you. He just treats them as friends. Don't do anything like throw away a girl's pencil if he keeps borrowing hers instead of borrowing yours. Jealousy won't do any good.

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Do not become obsessive. You need to keep in mind that his whereabouts are not always your business. He needs privacy, just as you need yours.

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Don't get jealous if you see him with another girl, especially if you aren't even dating him. If you are dating him and you seem him with another girl, don't assume anything unless they are doing some like kissing or passionate hugging. Even then, don't throw a strop––just talk to him calmly and tell him it's over.

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Don't sext him or twerk. Stay away from the sexual actions at all times because the wrong mistake could ruin your life. Not only will you ruin your reputation instantly, you could get into a lot of trouble, and it may ruin your chances with the other guy around the block. Also, if a guy finds that attractive, he's a total weirdo.

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Don't talk about holidays or anything like that because he may get jealous of you - If he changes the subject once, don't try to talk about it with him.

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Never talk about ex-boyfriends you've had. This is a big no-no, as it makes it seem like you still think about your ex lots and/or still have feelings for him.

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Do not constantly stare or stalk him.

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