How to Know if a Guy Doesn't Like You Back

Co-authored by Laura Bilotta

There’s a guy that you’ve been interested in for a while, but you’re not sure if he’s interested in you or not. His body language, eye contact, and consistency with attention are three great ways to tell if he’s interested. Of course, you can just ask him, but this can be nerve-wracking. Take note of certain signs before acting on your feelings for him to ensure that they are mutual. If he doesn’t show these signs, he’s probably not interested.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Reading Body Language

1
Interact with him. Strike up a conversation with him and pay attention to the way he interacts with you. If he is an outgoing person and likes you, he’ll playfully touch you while you talk.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 4 March 2020.} The occasional shoulder brush or hand-grab to show you something are tell-tale signs. If he is shy, he won’t be as obvious. If this is the case, he may blush or stare at you while you talk.
- He might even lean in a little closer while you talk.^{[2]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Laura Bilotta
  Dating Coach & Matchmaker
  Expert Interview. 4 March 2020.}
2
Notice his smile. A true smile extends beyond the normal width of a mouth. If his smile is across his whole face, he’s being affected by you in a good way. If his teeth aren’t showing, he’s most likely forcing the smile. This means that he’s humoring you and isn’t interested.

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3
Notice his stance. All of his muscles will be pulled to show off his body to his best advantage when he’s talking to you if he’s trying to impress you. He’s often stand with his hands on his hips to suggest confidence. When a man is interested, he’ll stand directly in front of you to show full attention and make it possible to lean in to get closer with ease. ^{[3]
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Research source} If he’s not interested, his shoulders will face away from you.

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Observing the Way He Looks at You

1
Look for eye contact. Not only should you be looking for eye contact, but you should also notice his pupils. If he is looking at you while you talk—great. If his pupils are larger than normal—even better! Dilation is a brain response that occurs when someone is attracted to something.^{[4]
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Research source} If his eye contact is shaky, it most likely means that he wants to get out of the situation that he’s in.
- Excessive blinking is another strong indication someone is attracted to you. For some people, blink rate spikes when they’re emotionally excited.
- He might gaze into your eyes, look away, and return to a gentle stare.^{[5]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Laura Bilotta
  Dating Coach & Matchmaker
  Expert Interview. 4 March 2020.}
2
Check out his eyebrows. If his eyebrows are raises slightly, this means that he finds you fascinating. This is a subconscious expression that happens when a man likes what he sees.^{[6]
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Research source}
3
Notice if he looks past you. He may not always have direct eye contact when he’s speaking to you, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t interested. If his eyes wander, take note of where they’re going. If he’s checking you out—he’s obviously interested. If he seems to be looking past you, it’s not a good sign. That shows that he is in a rush to escape the conversation.

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Receiving Attention

1
Introduce yourself to his friends. Once you do this, sit with the group for a bit to see how your guy acts. If he seems to be putting on a show for his friends, it is likely that he is trying to get your attention. This means that he’s interested. If he seems quiet or awkward, he might be uncomfortable with the situation because he’s not interested in you and doesn’t feel comfortable with you hanging around his friends.
2
Talk on the phone. Take note of how often and the reasons he calls or texts you when you aren’t together. If he is only calling you to ask a favor, he probably just sees you as a friend. If he calls just to see how you’re doing or to make small talk, he’s interested.
3
Watch how he talks to you. Is he always on is phone? Does he appear scatter-brained and ready to get out of the conversation? If either of these are true, he’s not interested. If he is interested, he will give you his full attention for as long as he can get it for.^{[7]
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Research source}

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Being Direct

1
Learn what he likes. Ask him, straight forward, what he looks for in a girl. This will give you a better idea of the kind of things that he is or isn’t attracted to. (Take note about if you have these qualities or not.) Not only should you ask what he likes, but also ask what he doesn’t like. Keep it casual, but pick at his brain for his biggest turn-ons and turn-offs.
2
Ask him what he thinks about you. If he says that he’s “not sure how he feels,” that’s not a good sign. Chances are, he knows, but he knows you won’t respond well if he tells you.^{[8]
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Research source} If he says that he thinks that you have a great personality, ask him if he finds you attractive.
3
Talk in private. Have a talk about what you mean to each other. Make sure not to bring it up in front of a group. That might make him uncomfortable and he might not give very straight answers to avoid an awkward situation.

Community Q&A

Question

How do I get him interested if he might like another girl?

Community Answer

Don't make it seem like a competition, or at least don't be the one to start it. (That can get nasty fast.) Focus on acting confident and friendly around him, and looking nice. If he doesn't go your way, accept it and move on.
Question

Why won't my crush talk to me even though he knows I like him?

Community Answer

If he seems shy or embarrassed, he might like you back. If he just ignores you all the time, he probably doesn't.
Question

How do you move on if he does not like you?

Community Answer

Spend more time with your friends, even when you don't want to. Try to be as happy and confident as you can. Even though he wasn't into you, it doesn't mean nobody else is!