How to Make a Guy Want to Be With You

Last Updated: October 28, 2022 References

While attracting a guy may seem sort of like magic, in fact there is a lot of science involved in making a guy want to be with you. Once you establish an initial attraction to the guy, you have to then work to create a lasting connection with him that will lead to a date, or several. Using the power of body language, good conversation, and self confidence can help you land the guy you’re interested in.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Using Body Language

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Smile at him and keep your body open, towards him. Practice open body language by smiling at him as he speaks. Keep your arms relaxed and not crossed or tense.^{[1]
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- Don’t hide your hands when you talk to him. Exposing your hands and wrists to him so he can see the soft skin on your arms is actually proven to be very attractive to men.
- Body language is an effective way to show that you're interested in someone.^{[2]
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Tilt your head and look right at him when he speaks. Head tilting shows you are interested and engaged in him. Avoid looking over his head, around the room, or down at your phone. This will only show him you aren’t interested.^{[3]
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Lean towards him. Leaning towards him is a nonverbal way of telling him you are engaged. This works well if you are in a group of people, but you want to single him out to let him know you’re interested in him.
- Leaning towards him will also subconsciously pull him towards you.
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Don’t be afraid to blush in front of him. When we are attracted to someone, blood will flow to our face, causing our cheeks to turn red. This is actually an evolutionary way that your body tries to attract the opposite sex. So blushing in front of the guy will let him know you are attracted to him and send him a signal he will definitely recognize.^{[4]
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Position your feet so they face him. The positioning of your feet reflect your attitude towards someone. So if your feet are pointed towards him, this is a sign of attraction. If your feet are pointed towards the exit, this may be a sign to him that you are not interested.^{[5]
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Don’t use your purse as a shield. How you hold your purse when you are with a guy can actually be a form of nonverbal communication. For example, if you are clutching your purse tightly or placing it in front of your body, this shows you are uncomfortable and nervous. But holding your purse loosely at your side or not at all shows you are attracted to him and are relaxed in his presence.^{[6]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Using Conversation

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Be willing to share details about yourself with him. Revealing details about yourself beyond run of the mill small talk can create a more intimate bond between the two of you. This could be something as simple as telling him how many siblings you have, that you come from a small town, or that you love jazz music. Disclosing personal details shows you are starting to trust him. If he responds with intimate details of his own, you are both clearly working toward building a more serious relationship.^{[7]
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- Be careful not to reveal too much too soon. Telling him more about yourself over a period of time or over several dates can help to grow your mutual attraction to each other.
- Deeper questions like, "How's your relationship with your mother?" Or "what do you think about kids?" should only be asked after several dates and once you have built up trust and mutual understanding.
- You could chat with him about your hobbies, passion projects, and career goals.
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Find things you both love to talk about. A good conversation can be a big turn on for a guy, especially if you both talk about things you enjoy or can agree on. The rule of no talk of religion, politics, or money during a date may be outdated. But focusing on topics like your favorite travel destinations or your favorite television shows can be good ways to keep the conversation going and make it enjoyable for both of you.^{[8]
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- Finding common ground also shows him you are interested enough to try to find ways to connect with his tastes and preferences. Though you may not agree all the time, working towards a mutual understanding can strengthen your relationship.
- If you know he is a big sports fan and you are also into sports, ask him: "So, what did you think of last night's game?" Or if you are more interested in pop culture, bring up the latest show you're obsessed with on Netflix, or share your celebrity crushes.
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Don’t be shy about voicing your opinion. Avoid being passive in the conversation or saying “yes” to everything he says. Voicing your opinion shows you have the intelligence to think for yourself and aren’t afraid to be honest. A smart woman who knows what she wants and how to get it will attract men everywhere she goes.^{[9]
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- If he asks you a direct question, like "What is your favorite place you've ever traveled to?" or "What do you look for in a person?" Give him an honest answer and then ask him the same question. This will show you are interested in keeping the conversation going. It will also show you have a straight forward and honest attitude, a big turn on for most guys.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Using Self Confidence and Self Knowledge

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Show off your sense of style. Though its important to maintain a certain level of hygiene (brush your teeth and your hair, shower regularly), its even more important to dress in a way that makes you feel confident and strong. This could mean a tight dress and heels or jeans and a t-shirt. Displaying your sense of style through your clothing, your makeup (or lack thereof) and your overall look will show him you are not afraid to be yourself.^{[10]
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- Most men are interested in women who dress based on what they think is sexy, rather than based on what men think is sexy.
- Remember—confidence is key! Confidence is one of the most desired traits that a man will seek in a partner, as he's attracted to someone who will compliment his lifestyle.
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Do activities together that make you feel confident and strong. Rather than spend time with him doing things you may not find interesting or stimulating, suggest activities that you enjoy and feel great doing. This could be rock climbing together or sharing an intimate meal. Sharing things that you enjoy with him can also bring you both closer to each other and make your relationship stronger.^{[11]
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Try to bring out the best in each other. Do this by encouraging his passions and being supportive of his goals, and expect that he will do the same for you. As your relationship gets stronger, remember to always try to bring out the positive sides of each other. This will ensure you both feel good around each other and will want to stay together for the long haul.^{[12]
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Expert Q&A

Question

How do you make a man fall crazy in love with you?

Jan & Jillian Yuhas
Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists
Jan Yuhas and Jillian Yuhas are Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists and the Founders of Entwined Lifestyle. They specialize in helping individuals and couples work on effective communication, healthy boundaries, and lifestyle wellness. They have also been featured on media outlets such as Yahoo Lifestyle and Bustle. Jan and Jillian both hold a BA in Psychology from The University of Illinois at Chicago and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy from The Adler School of Professional Psychology.

Jan & Jillian Yuhas

Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists

Expert Answer

Getting a guy to fall in love with you begins with being your authentic self. He's more likely to see you as a long-term partner when you confidently know your worth, share vulnerabilities, have aspirations in life, possess great listening skills, and make quality time for the connection to grow. He will be drawn to a partner who will not try to change him but accepts him for who he is.