How to Hide Your Feelings from a Girl You Like

Co-authored by John Keegan

Last Updated: March 4, 2023 References

Maybe she’s dating your best friend. Maybe you’ve already dated, broken up with her, but still have feelings. Whatever your reasons, there are times you might want to hide your romantic feelings from the girl you’re attracted to. Taking care to conceal your feelings both in and out of her presence will help keep a lid on the truth.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Hiding Your Feelings In the Presence of the Girl You Like

1
Lie if necessary. If the girl you like confronts you directly, hiding your feelings from her can seem impossible. Stay cool and react in a realistic way. Acting startled or surprised might give away the fact that you’re hiding something. Do not reply in a nervous manner.
- There are many forms direct questions can take, but if she asks “Do you have a crush on me?” or “Do you have feelings for me?”, you might respond, “No, why do you ask?” or “Certainly not, whatever gave you that idea?”
- If you don’t feel comfortable lying, rely in an ambiguous way. For instance, using the above example, you might simply reply “What makes you think that?” or “Why do you ask?” without including the explicit denial.^{[1]
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- Lying might not be the best option. She might be asking you about your feelings because she has feelings for you too.
2
Stay aware of your own unconscious invitations for affection. There are certain unconscious cues indicating attraction conveyed by body language. For example, frequent, seemingly unnecessary grooming (touching your hair or smoothing your clothes),^{[2]
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Research source} facing your body towards her, and thrusting your chest out and your shoulders back all provide indications that you’re attracted to someone in your presence and yearning for them to notice and touch you. ^{[3]
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Research source} Most of these can be stopped once you are aware of and looking for them in your own behavior.
- Keep in mind that these cues are effectively invisible unless someone is consciously looking for them. You have no need to worry that you're sending out "messages" of attraction.
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3
Show affection to another girl. If the girl you like believes you have a girlfriend already, or are interested in someone else, she’ll be unaware that you have feelings for her. By showing or expressing affection for another girl, you’ll effectively hide your feelings for her. Mention to a friend in an offhand way that you think another girl is cute when you’re within earshot of the girl you have feelings for. This will lead her into thinking you’re not interested in her.
- Do not date another person just to mislead the girl you like. This third party could have their feelings hurt.^{[4]
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4
Watch what you say. Stay quiet around the girl you have a crush on. If you do talk, make sure your words are thoughtful and carefully considered. Talking too much, or too nervously, will tip her off that something in your attitude is amiss.
- If the conversation veers toward romantic topics, or topics which might induce awkward feelings for you, try to steer it back toward subjects which aren’t so close to home.
- Always speak in a steady, normal way. Don’t stutter or mumble when you’re speaking to her. Communicate as you always do with friends and acquaintances.
5
Utilize distractions to keep her attention from you. Distractions can be either a solitary activity (like a TV show) or a shared activity (for instance, a puzzle you work on together). In either case, your distraction should be something which doesn’t necessitate conversation. If you’re forced to talk to each other, you might find yourself in a situation where it’s hard to hide your feelings.
- Distract yourself if you’re unable to distract her. When she’s around, busy yourself with a videogame, a book, or your phone/tablet. Find an activity you can do alone, even if she is nearby. Whatever you do, ensure it precludes the possibility that you will express your feelings to/about her.
6
Limit the time spent with her. When you’re with her, it is more difficult to avoid situations in which you feel the emotional pressure to confess how you feel about her. If you must spend time with her, do it in a big group or at a party. In group situations, you can easily avoid her and spend time talking to someone else, or wander off so that you’re not near her.
7
Act disinterested. When the girl you’re interested in is around, maintain a pleasant but detached disposition. Be casual. Don’t ignore her or pretend you’re too busy to be bothered with her; that will upset her and hurt her feelings. Rather, show mild interest in what she has to say, but no more than you would with any other friend or acquaintance.
- Do not become withdrawn or uncharacteristically quiet when you’re around the girl you like. Such behavior is a telltale sign that something in your emotions is amiss.^{[5]
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8
Avoid gazing at her.^{[6]
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Research source} She is, in your eyes, the purest beauty the world has ever seen. You only have eyes for her. But leaning forward in your seat, palms on your chin, is a sure giveaway that you have feelings for her. Wear sunglasses (weather permitting) if she’s around, and look away at the ground or at a fixed point in the opposite direction from where she is located in order to best hide the way you feel.

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Hiding Your Feelings From Others

1
Don’t talk to anyone about your feelings. If your friends know that you have feelings for a certain girl, its possible that they will tell their friends, then their friends will tell their friends and so on. At some point, this knowledge will reach the very ears it was never meant to -- those of the girl you like.
2
Keep a diary. Write down all the thoughts and ideas you have about the girl you like in the diary. Write down the things you’d like to say to her but aren’t ready to yet.
- Do not express your feelings on social media like Twitter or Facebook. Even if you’re vague, it’s possible that someone could piece together what and who you’re talking about, and your cover would be blown.
3
Take up a new hobby like painting, skateboarding, or playing a musical instrument. The more you focus elsewhere, the less you’ll be focused on her. Your new hobbies will give you a needed distraction, and help you hide your feelings.^{[7]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Find something that you enjoy and that engages your attention and energy in positive ways.
- Developing a skill will help you build confidence. If you feel uncomfortable revealing your feelings to a girl you like because you doubt your ability to woo her, gaining confidence by learning new abilities can potentially solve your problem.
4
Do not spend time with her. If you’re not around her, there’s no way to reveal your feelings. You’ll never be faced with a situation in which you inadvertently admit to your affection for her, or in which you just become so frustrated by not admitting how you feel that you spill the beans. Further, you'll never have nosy friends picking up on your potentially unusual behavior when you're in the presence of your crush. Spend time with family and friends instead of her.
- Avoidance includes online interaction and texting. Do not browse her social media profiles or text her as an alternative to spending time with/around her.

Expert Q&A
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Question

How do I get rid of feelings for a girl?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Go out and try new things to meet other people. That way, you can distract yourself from that person and possibly find someone new.
Question

How can I be nice to her? I've been horrible before, but now I want to kiss her.

Community Answer

The best thing you could do is apologize for your past behavior. If you don't feel like you can do this, just change your ways now. Treat her with respect and kindness, go out of your way to say nice things and compliment her whenever possible. It might take a little time for her to come around, be patient.
Question

How do I get a girl to think I don't like her when I do?

Community Answer

Don't make eye contact, and don't be around her for a while. Hang out with other girls.