How to Get a Boy to Kiss You

Co-authored by Imad Jbara

Last Updated: June 15, 2021

It's a problem faced by girls everywhere - how to get the boy you like to kiss you. The good news is that if the two of you have been spending a lot of time together and you know he likes you, he's probably a little nervous and just needs a gentle push in the right direction. All you need to do is play your cards right and send the right signals, and the two of you will be locking lips in no time! Here's how.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Be Prepared

1
Prepare your lips. The first step in getting a boy to kiss you is to have utterly kissable, irresistible lips. Nobody wants to kiss dry, cracked lips so get a good lip balm and apply it frequently for perfectly hydrated lips. Before the actual kissing, you should apply a light layer of lip balm so your lips are smooth and perhaps delicately flavoured. You should avoid bright lipsticks and sticky lip glosses however, as these can get messy and even ruin your kiss.
- For moisturization, petroleum jelly or a lip balm stick will work well. You can also try exfoliating your lips by gently rubbing them with a damp washcloth or toothbrush. This will get them extra smooth.
- If you have a date planned, try preparing your lips a couple of days in advance. Otherwise you should keep some lip balm in your purse for emergency situations.
2
Dress your best. Always try to look your best around the boy you're hoping to kiss. You'll feel way more confident if your hair looks good or you're wearing your favourite skirt, and confidence is super important when it comes to kissing. Try wearing a top that brings out the color of your eyes, or apply a little mascara to show off your long eyelashes.
- Just be aware that looking your best doesn't mean you should go over the top. You don't need to wear a ton of make-up and you certainly don't need to wear skimpy clothes. Guys tend to go for girls who are natural and feel comfortable in their own skin, so try to let your natural beauty shine through.
- Smelling good also helps - if you have a date planned, make sure your hair is freshly washed and apply a little of your favourite perfume (though nothing overpowering) on your wrists and behind your ears.
Advertisement
3
Have fresh breath. This probably goes without saying, but you should always try your best to have fresh breath whenever there's a chance of kissing. You can do this by brushing your teeth as often as possible, especially after eating. You should also keep a little tin of breath mints in your purse, so you can pop one as soon as things look promising. Don't be afraid to offer him one either, he might take it as a hint, which is exactly what you want!
- Try carrying a travel-size toothbrush and toothpaste in your purse if you're planning on grabbing a bite with the boy you like. That way you can pop to the restroom for a quick refresher after eating. If possible, use a little mouthwash as well.
- You should also try to avoid eating foods with a lot of garlic, anything too spicy or anything that might make you burp (not attractive) before or during a date.
4
Choose the right location. You want to remember your first kiss with this guy as romantic, right? Then make sure to choose an appropriate location. Large, loud parties in front of all your friends are not a good idea. You'll feel under way more pressure and it'll definitely make things awkward. Instead, try going somewhere private - but not secluded - like a park, the pier or the corner booth in a cafe.
- You want to be somewhere that you can talk and see each other (so he can pick up on all the "kiss-me!" signals) so a movie theatre isn't the best option.
- If you're already pretty close, you could invite him over to watch a movie together - just make sure that no parents or siblings are likely to barge in at any moment, awkward!
5
Relax. You shouldn't work yourself up about the kiss too much. Of course, it's normal to be nervous, but too many nerves can cause you to act jittery or distracted, which might send him the wrong signals.^{[1]
X
Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Kissing should be a fun, enjoyable, natural thing, not complicated or terrifying at all. But if those butterflies are feeling more like carnivorous moths, there are a few last-minute relaxation techniques you can try:
- Take a few deep breaths. If you feel the panic rising, take several deep breaths, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Focus on the breathing and nothing else and you will immediately feel calmer, as deep breathing is associated with decreased production of anxiety-inducing chemicals like adrenaline and increased production of relaxing and mood-boosting endorphins.^{[2]
  X
  Research source}
- Ask yourself "what's the worst that can happen?" Really - think about what could possibly go wrong with a simple kiss. Are you afraid that you're not a good kisser? Or that he won't like you any more if it's bad? Remember that kissing is a natural thing, so it's very unlikely that you'll be bad at it, especially if you like him and he likes you. And even if the kiss isn't so great, if that's enough to turn this guy off an otherwise amazing girl, then he's not worth your time anyway.
- Laugh. They say laughter is the best medicine, and that goes for nerves too. Laughing will immediately make you feel more relaxed and happy and make the whole situation less awkward. Try cracking a joke (even a bad one), making a funny face or whipping out some silly dance moves to break the ice and get both of you laughing. Things will progress much more naturally after that.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Send the Right Signals

1
Compliment him. Once you have prepared yourself and decided that tonight's the night, it's time to start sending out the "kiss-me" signals. Giving the boy a compliment is a great place to start. He'll feel great about himself and it'll make him like you even more, making the possibility of a kiss ever more likely.^{[3]
X
Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}
- Say something flattering yet honest, like "I love your eyes" or "you're one of the coolest people I've ever met" or if you want to be even more obvious, you can tell him that you love his lips!
2
Smile and make eye contact. Guys are attracted to happy, confident girls, so show off these winning personality traits by smiling a lot and looking him directly in the eye. Smiling a lot will make you seem happy and carefree, while laughing at his jokes will flatter his ego. Making eye contact will let him know that you're interested and that you're not afraid to get what you want.
- Don't bat your eyelashes, but try looking at him directly for a few seconds, then smiling and looking away - he'll be hooked!
3
Draw attention to your lips. Drawing attention to your lips will get his attention in a not-so-subtle way and make him think about kissing you. Try not to be too obvious about it, you should make it look like you're doing it without thinking.
- Try applying your lip balm in front of him or gently biting your lip when you know he's looking. You'll soon have his attention right where you want it.
4
Make physical contact. Sometimes boys can feel awkward or unsure about making the first move, but just by making physical contact you're letting him know that it's okay to kiss you.^{[4]
X
Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Try giving him a playful push, brushing your fingers through his hair, holding his hand or giving him a spontaneous hug. He'll immediately feel more comfortable around you and hopefully get the message that you'd like to take things to the next level.
5
Use a ruse. Use an excuse to get up close and personal with the guy. Pick some imaginary fluff out of his hair, challenge him to a staring contest or tell him that you're cold and ask if you can snuggle closer to him. The close contact will let him know that you're interested and make it much easier for him to lean in for a kiss.
6
Give him a hint. Boys can be a little dull sometimes, so if he's not picking up on any of your oh-so-subtle signals, it may be time to give him a more obvious hint. You can just go for it by making eye contact as you lean towards him, or you can try giving him a playful kiss on the cheek, challenging him to go a step further.
- If you're feeling extra confident, you can try a cheeky comment like "you can kiss me now" or "what are you waiting for? Kiss me!" He'll probably think all of his Christmases have come at once!

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Kiss Like a Pro

1
Tilt your head. It's important to get your kissing technique right for the first kiss. Start by slightly tilting your head to one side, just enough to ensure your noses don't crash. Tilt in the opposite direction to him - if he goes right, you go left.
- If he's taller than you, you should also tilt your head upwards slightly to make sure he can easily reach your lips.
- Just don't tilt your head too much, or it'll look like you have a crick in your neck.
2
Close your eyes. Closing your eyes when kissing makes it a much more romantic and sensory experience. However, you shouldn't close your eyes until you're sure you know exactly where you're going - if you close your eyes too soon you may end up kissing his nose or chin! Try to keep your eyes closed for the duration of the kiss - if you open your eyes and he opens his it can be a little creepy and might ruin the moment.
- Sometimes closing your eyes will come naturally, but other times you will have to remind yourself.
- Leave your eyes closed for a second when you pull apart, then smile gently and open.
3
Be gentle. Don't be an aggressive kisser, at least not for the first kiss. Your first kiss with a guy should be soft and slow - you want to avoid the washing-machine effect. Try not to pucker your lips, rather work your bottom lip in a slight up-and-down motion. Remember to breathe through your nose and try to stay relaxed!
- There's no pressure to French kiss first time round, but if you do you should try gently massaging his tongue with your own.
- If you're still unsure, just try to follow his lead.
4
Hold him close. Make the kiss more intimate by putting your hands on his shoulders, in his hair or around his neck. Keep your bodies as close as you feel comfortable with. If he wraps his hands around your waist or cups your face in his hands, he's definitely into it.
5
Keep it short and sweet. The first kiss shouldn't wear out his jaw, you should always leave him wanting more. Try to keep it around the 20 second mark - long enough to get into it, but short enough that he'll be eager to do it again. Don't be afraid to pull away if you're not into it or if it's going somewhere you're not comfortable with.
6
Compliment him again. Remember that he was probably as nervous about kissing you as you were about kissing him, so once you've pulled away, ease his nerves by smiling and confirming that you enjoyed the kiss. Just say something simple like "that was fun" or "you're a great kisser." He'll feel happy and relieved, while also feeling much more confident about leaning in for round two. Now you have him exactly where you want him!

Warnings

Never let a kiss go further than you feel comfortable with. You should never let a boy pressure you into doing something you're not ready for. If things are going too far, take a step back and say no. If he's a gentleman, he'll understand.

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 264 Not Helpful 26