Have you started a relationship with that special guy, but you're not quite sure how to get that first kiss you've been looking for? Follow these steps to clue your boyfriend in on the fact that you really want to be kissed.

Part 1
Part 1 of 3:

Setting the Mood

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    Brush your teeth and tongue well before you meet up with him (very important!). It also can't hurt at all to floss thoroughly. There's nothing worse than kissing someone with bad breath, or someone who still has leftovers stuck between her teeth.[1]
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    Get him alone. Your guy may want to kiss you, but may be nervous to do so in front of other people. The only prompting he may need to kiss you is to be alone with you. If you are with a group of friends or at a party, make up an excuse that leads to the two of you being by yourselves. Walk up to him, touch his arm, and tell him you want to speak with him. Or, grab his hand and ask him to come with you--he’s your boyfriend after all!
    • Stay close to him when you two are alone. If you're not that close to him or you keep something in between you two, he may think you don't want to kiss.[2]
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    Do something romantic. You don’t have to lay out a candlelit dinner to make a moment feel romantic. Anything that involves physical contact is good. If you can cause a bit of sexual tension, even better.
    • Invite him over to watch a movie or show. Let him sit down on the couch first--you could even make up an excuse to go make popcorn so that he settles in first. When you come back, slide in right next to him, leaving no room for him to chicken out and move away. Chances are, he will put his arm around you--a stepping stone on the path to kissing.
    • Have a picnic somewhere secluded. When you two are picnicking, cuddle up close to him and hold out a strawberry or grape, suggesting with your actions that you want to feed it to him. Move your eyes from his eyes to his lips, and back up. When you feed it to him, let your fingertips lightly brush his lips.
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    Create a clever ruse to get him close to you. If your guy is shy, he’s probably looking for a subtle way to get close to your face, so give him a reason to do so. Come up with a clever reason for the two of you to get close to each other. When he leans in, give him your best ‘smoldering-temptress-wanting-to-be-kissed’ look. Your ruse may create the moment he has been looking for to kiss you.[3]
    • Tell him that you want to get a better look at his eye color, or that you think there is something in your eye and you’d really appreciate him looking. You could also pretend that there is a crumb on his face--lean in when you ‘wipe’ it off and look up into his eyes.
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Part 2
Part 2 of 3:

Giving Him Physical Clues

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    Break the touch barrier if you haven’t already. Touch his elbow, hold hands, brush his hair out of his face or gently put a hand on his knee. Tearing down this barrier will help the both of you get past some of the hang-ups that you may have about physical contact.
    • Once you've broken the touch barrier keep on breaking it. When you laugh, place your hand on his arm. When you walk, grab his hand and hold it. Hopefully he will meet you halfway and begin grabbing your hand too.[4]
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    Cuddle up with him. Cuddling lets him know that you like physical contact, and that you are really comfortable with him. It is one of the biggest clues you can give him--and cuddling often leads to kissing.[5]
    • While you are cuddling, lean your head against his shoulder. Entwine your fingers with his and lean back contentedly. All of these physical clues will tell your guy, “I love being close to you, now kiss me you silly boy!”
  3. 3
    Work on your pucker. Getting your guy’s full attention on your lips will make the idea of kissing you unavoidable. Do everything you can to keep his attention on your lips. A classic approach is to bite your lip gently while looking at him.[6]
    • Apply lip balm to your lips (and let him watch you do it.) Just keep in mind that lip gloss can be sticky, and thus make your kiss sticky. Use a lip balm or chapstick if you want to avoid a sticky situation.
    • Run an ice cube over your lips if it's hot out. Not only will this look seductive, it will also give your lips a shiny look similar to balm.
    • Lick your lips as if you’re eating something juicy. If you are eating watermelon, ice cream, or something that is drip prone, let a little get on your lips and then slowly lick it off. Just be careful to avoid looking like a slob when trying this--you are going for temptress, not ‘girl in serious need of a napkin.’
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    Flirt with your eyes. Eye contact is a big part of clueing your guy in on the fact that you want to be kissed. Look him in the eyes and smile gently. Smile with your eyes. Glance from his eyes to his lips a couple times, perhaps adding a flirtatious batting of your eyelashes.
    • Here is another way to flirt with your eyes: when you two are looking at each other, especially when your faces are close together, hold eye contact for a moment, then drop your eyes bashfully. Look down for a moment, and then glance back up.
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    Give him some serious clues when you are saying goodbye. If you are hoping for a good night kiss, this is particularly important. When you are saying goodbye, hug him close and kiss him on the cheek. After kissing him on the cheek, look into his eyes. Even if he doesn't kiss you right then, you will have shown him that you are perfectly fine with kissing and physical contact.
    • When hugging him, you could place your head on his chest so that he holds you closer. If you do this, make sure to have some irresistible perfume on--he won’t be able to help but notice how delicious you smell.
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Part 3
Part 3 of 3:

Giving Him Verbal Clues

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    Flirt with your words. Just because he is your boyfriend already doesn't mean you should stop flirting. Flirting keeps a relationship light and healthy--plus it will show him that you’re still very into him. Play coy and tease him (but not too much.) You could even tease him about not kissing you (which is a pretty direct way of saying ‘I want you to kiss me!’)
    • Send him flirty text messages when you guys aren't together. Flirtatious, funny texts are a great way to be cute with him even when you’re not around him. Just keep in mind that you don’t want to overload him with texts--that can be a turn off.
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    Make him feel confident. Guys like to feel like they are the big, strong men in girls’ lives--so make your guy feel that way. Even if you don’t necessarily need him to open a tightly-lidded jar, it's a nice confidence boost for him when you say something like ‘ooh! Look at those muscles!’ This is, of course, another form of flirting, but it is the kind that will boost his confidence--hopefully giving him the confidence to then lean in and kiss you!
  3. 3
    Be direct and ask him to kiss you. Being direct has its ups and downs. The ups are, you will most likely get results immediately, and it will show your guy how confident you are--which is very sexy. The downside is that the results you get immediately might not be the ones you want. He may still need some time to overcome his shyness, or he might not be as into it as you thought. No matter what, you will get results--and you are taking the pressure off him by telling him exactly what you want.
    • You can make your request sexy and still direct. When you are hugging goodbye, lean in close so that your lips brush his ear and whisper something like “Kiss me” or “I want to kiss you.” Chances are, your words, and that little brush of your lips, will be enough to make him lose any shyness he might have and go right in for the kiss.
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About This Article

Eddy Baller
Co-authored by:
Dating Coach
This article was co-authored by Eddy Baller. Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others. This article has been viewed 2,565,713 times.
29 votes - 76%
Co-authors: 279
Updated: April 28, 2022
Views: 2,565,713
Categories: Kissing (Youth)
Article SummaryX

To make your boyfriend kiss you, make up an excuse to be alone with him, since he may be nervous about kissing in front of others. For example, invite him over to watch a movie at your place. When you’re alone, stay close to him by holding his hand or touching his arm, which will tell him you’re interested in getting intimate. If your boyfriend is shy, give him a reason to get close to you, like telling him that you want to get a better look at his eye color. Or cuddle up close to him to show you like physical contact. Then, find ways to make him focus on your lips, like biting your lip while looking at him, which will encourage him to kiss you. For tips on how to show your boyfriend you want a goodnight kiss, keep reading!

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