How to Be the Girl All the Guys Want

Co-authored by Cher Gopman

Last Updated: May 8, 2022 References

There are some girls that guys always seem to be chasing after. So what's the secret to seduction? Unfortunately, there's no magic potion that will make you more desirable, and there's no outfit or workout regimen that guarantees you'll be sought after. But there are some tricks you can use to your advantage to become the girl all the guys want.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Highlighting Your Natural Beauty

1
Accentuate your best features. Men’s preferences about looks and body type vary widely, so try not to set your sights on looking like a photo in a magazine.^{[1]
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Research source} Instead, embrace the figure and features you have and try to accentuate them as much as you can.
- For example, if your best feature is your eyes, then you can emphasize them with eye makeup. If your legs are your best feature, then opt for shorts or a short skirt to show them off.
- Try wearing a little make-up and see how it makes you feel. If you like it, then make it a part of your daily routine. Keep in mind that you do not have to wear much make-up to accentuate your best features.
- For example, you could try wearing a bit of brown mascara and clear lip gloss for a look that brings out your natural beauty.
2
Wear something red. Women who are wearing red seem more attractive to some men.^{[2]
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Research source} You don't need to wear red all of the time to take advantage of this, but wearing a red top now and then or adding a pop of red with an accessory might be worth a try.
- If you like, you can add a pop of red to your outfit every day with some red lipstick, a pair of red earrings, or a red scarf.
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3
Put on a pair of high heels now and then. High heels have been shown to make men feel more attracted to women.^{[3]
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Research source} Since high heels are not very comfortable, you may want to save them for special occasions, such as a school dance. You can also try wearing some lower high heels.
4
Take good care of yourself. You can’t change too much about the way you look, but one study showed that people are more attracted to people who take good care of themselves.^{[4]
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Research source} Make sure that you take time to groom yourself well every day. Some basic things you can do to increase your attractiveness include:
- Showering every day.
- Styling your hair.
- Brushing your teeth.
- Wearing clean clothes.
5
Show off your great personality. Positive personality traits can cause someone to look past negative physical traits and feel attracted towards you.^{[5]
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Research source} For example, a guy who is normally attracted to thin women might feel attracted to a girl who is slightly overweight if she is kind and outgoing. Try to identify your positive personality traits and let them shine!
- Identify your best traits and watch for opportunities to show them off. For example, if you are a compassionate person, then you might want to engage in some volunteerism. If you are a responsible person, then consider running for class president.
- If you think that you need to work on something, then that is okay. For example, if you are shy, then you might want to work on being more outgoing. If you have a hot temper, then you might want to work on controlling your anger.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Using Body Language and Flirting

1
Make eye contact and smile. Making eye contact is a powerful way to show a guy that you are interested in him and smiling shows that you are happy and approachable.^{[6]
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Research source}^{[7]
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Expert Source

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} The next time you are around a guy who you think is cute, try locking eyes with him for a few seconds and flashing him a smile. Doing this will let him know that you think he is cute and you’d like to speak with him.
- This might feel awkward the first time you try it, but keep in mind that he is probably nervous too.
- Don't use too much eye contact at first. If you're so focused on the person and not looking away, you might come off as intimidating.^{[8]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Cher Gopman
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}
- Try not to be too touchy-feely, as this can give off the wrong vibe.^{[9]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Cher Gopman
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}
2
Try mirroring a guy when you talk to him. Mirroring is when you adopt a similar posture to the person with whom you are speaking. For example, if a guy leans in on his elbow, then you could lean in on your elbow as well. Doing this shows that you are interested and increases feelings of closeness.^{[10]
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Research source}
- Try using mirroring when you are first getting to know someone. You may even start to do it without noticing if you are really enjoying the conversation.
- Don’t copy every move your conversation partner makes. Just mirror him occasionally.
3
Strike up a conversation. If you want to talk to a guy, you don’t have to wait for him to talk to you. You can just go right up to him and say “hello.” If he responds with a smile and a response, then he probably wants to talk to you too. If he ignores you or gives a curt answer with little or no facial recognition (no smile, no eye contact), then move on to someone else.^{[11]
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Research source}
- Try asking a question to get a conversation going. For example, you could say something like, “Nice day today, don’t you think?” Or, “I love this café! Don’t you think they have the best coffee?”
- Try not to talk about yourself too much, or you might seem disinterested in the guy you're with.^{[12]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Cher Gopman
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}
4
Be a good listener. Being a good listener is also important when you are talking to guys. You may be seen as more attractive if you have the ability to show that you are interested and paying close attention to what a guy says. Some good listening skills include:^{[13]
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Research source}
- Paraphrasing. Try repeating back what a guy says now and then to show him you were paying attention.
- Nodding. Giving an occasional nod will show that you hear and understand what he is saying.
- Avoiding distractions. Never get out your phone or look away when you are talking to a guy you like because it will lead him to believe that you are not interested in him.
5
Ask open-ended questions. Asking open-ended questions will encourage your conversation partner to talk more than asking a closed question. Closed questions only require short answers, but open ended conversations invite the other person to elaborate.^{[14]
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Research source}
- For example, you will get a yes or no response if you ask, “Did you have a good day?” Instead, try asking, “How was your day?” This question will show the guy that you want him to talk and that you want to listen.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Cultivating Mystery

1
Keep some things to yourself. Don't give away too much information about yourself, and try to allude to fantastic or strange things you have done. You don't have to lie or be disingenuous, you can tell a story that expands upon your experiences in a thrilling way.
- For example, instead of explaining how you know an obscure fact about baseball, instead laugh, say, "A girl has her ways. Maybe I'll tell you sometime," and breeze forward in the conversation.
2
Be (somewhat) unavailable. You don't have to arbitrarily shoot down plans or minimize your time with the boys to next to nothing, but by making yourself scarce you'll make the levels of dopamine (the pleasure chemical) rise, which will make finally being able to see you a real treat.^{[15]
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Research source}
3
Reign in your emotions. It is important to avoid getting too emotional when you are first getting to know someone. You don't have to be cold or make him feel like his accomplishments are nothing to be proud of, but an excess of emotion may be a little overwhelming. Try to play it cool as much as possible. This will only increase your air of mystery and make him wonder if he really can win you over as his girlfriend.
- For example, don’t jump up and down and scream if he asks you on a date. Instead, try smiling and saying something like, “Sure, that sounds fun. What did you have in mind?”
4
Exit early.^{[16]
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Research source} You should think up a plausible reason for leaving beforehand so you're not scrambling to think of one off the top of your head when someone asks, "Aw, why are you leaving?" This can work well with your mystique, as you can allude to a vague appointment. Be polite, cheerful, and assure everyone you'll meet again soon.
- You could say: "I promised a friend of mine I'd help her with a little project. Nothing serious, but really, it's kind of a long story. I hate to leave, but I'll see you soon, for sure."