How to Respond to a Flirty Text from a Guy

Written by Julianne Cantarella | Edited by Kira Jan

Last Updated: October 5, 2022 References

Alright, he’s sent his flirty text and now it’s your turn. How do you keep him interested? We know it can feel like a lot of pressure to be cute, funny, and flirty over text. That’s why we’ve created a list of responses you can copy and paste to send to your guy—or customize to add your own personal style. Whether you’re looking to be adorable, sexy, sarcastic, or straightforward, read on for top texting inspiration.

This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach and licensed social worker, Julianne Cantarella. Check out the full interview here.

1

Tease him to get him interested.

Make the conversation playful with a little competition. When he sends you a flirty text, you know he’s into you! Teasing him a little will keep him guessing about whether or not you feel the same way. Keep him on his toes to build the attraction.^{[1]
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- If he compliments something you’re good at, build a little friendly competition. For example, “You seem pretty good at soccer, too... But you’ve never gone up against me.”
- If he compliments one of your physical qualities, compliment one of his in return, but add a bit of a challenge. “Well you seem pretty strong. But I still bet I’d win in a pushup contest.” or “You’re cute, too. But I don’t like guys who’re cuter than me.”
- Pick something he likes that’s not super heavy or emotionally loaded. Then add, “That’s why we could never date” along with a winky emoji. For instance, “You like quinoa? That’s why we could never date.”
- Hint that you know a secret about him. For example, “I think I know somebody that might have a crush on you?!”^{[2]
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2

Respond with a funny one-liner.

Humor is one of the key elements of flirting.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Julianne Cantarella
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.} Replying with a silly text keeps the conversation light, and it’s a great way to make him smile. Put your own spin on these examples to show off your personal sense of humor.^{[4]
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- “I’m no photographer but I can picture us together.”
- “Are you from Paris? Because I think Eiffel for you just now.”
- “Is your dad Liam Neeson? Because I’m pretty taken with you.”
- “If I had to choose between you and pizza, I’d choose you. But, please don’t make me do it.”

3

Try a sassy, short response.

Send an ironic response to cool down a text that’s a little too much. Whether he’s coming on really strong or sending unwanted sexual content, you can still keep the vibe open to potential flirting while shutting down anything gross. Soften any of these texts by adding a winky emoji so he knows you’re joking. Take a look at these texts to keep him in check:
- If he texts “I wanna see you” or “When can I see you?” reply “Go on my Instagram.”^{[5]
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- If he texts “tell me how you want me,” send something outrageously practical like “Financially responsible with a doctorate in astrophysics and a brand new SUV.”
- If he sends a text that says “Thinking of you…” or “I miss you…” respond with something confident like, “Well duh.”^{[6]
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- If he says “say something hot,” respond with “a tea kettle.”
- If he says “are you single?” respond “No, I’m plural.”
- If he asks for a “dirty pic,” send him a photo of your dirty dishes.

4

Send a flirty compliment.

Mirror his style of compliments. We tend to like people more when they reflect our own behavior.^{[7]
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Research source} If he sends you a flirty compliment, respond in kind. If he sends you a really sincere compliment, send him a sincere compliment back. Even as you send sincere texts, don’t be afraid to add a little humor.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Julianne Cantarella
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.}
- “You think I’m cute? You’re not so bad yourself.”
- “I think we’ll get along. I can tell you’re a guy with good taste.”^{[9]
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  Research source} If he responds “Why?” say, “Because you like me ;).”
- “You’re really handsome, too. Too bad I don’t like guys who are cuter than me.”
- “I’m having trouble concentrating today. I can’t stop thinking about how good you looked yesterday.”^{[10]
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5

Hint at exciting backstories when he compliments you.

Make him work to get information about you. Start to tell him a cool story about whatever he’s complimenting. Then, hold off on finishing the story to get him interested in talking to you more.^{[11]
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Research source} The idea isn’t just to be super mysterious, but rather to give him a reason to talk to you over the phone or in person, rather than just through texts.^{[12]
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- If he tells you how good you look in a photo on social media, say “Yeah… that was a crazy night!” then add “I’ll tell you about it if you’re lucky.”
- If you’re not sure how to reply to a flirty text, use a cliffhanger to buy yourself time, “The wildest thing just happened… I’ll tell you later.”
- Use this strategy to casually suggest meeting up, “It’s a long story. I’d have to tell you in person.”

6

Give a genuine response.

Sincerely thank him for any compliments and say something sweet. Show him you appreciate what he has to say and the effort he’s putting into the conversation. It’s hard to go wrong with being yourself and being kind–especially when you’re trying to figure out if you actually are compatible with someone.^{[13]
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Julianne Cantarella
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.}
- “Aw thanks! That made me smile.”
- “Wow you just made my day.”
- “My friends are gonna ask me why I’m blushing right now.”^{[14]
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- If you're looking to deflect from the compliment, you can change the subject by asking questions and talking about something else. “Thanks! Do you have any fun plans this weekend?”

7

Send a cute text to tell him you care.

Get the warm and fuzzy feelings flowing. If he’s dating material and he gives you butterflies, let him know.^{[15]
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Research source} Tell him that you enjoy spending time with him and hint that you’d like to see him more often.
- “I’ve got like 5% battery left, but that won’t stop me from texting you.”
- “I’ve been thinking about you all day.”^{[16]
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- “I just watched a scary movie. I need a hug…”^{[17]
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- “This dinner would be a lot more fun if you were here.”^{[18]
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8

Share a photo of what you’re up to.

Keep him updated and show him you know how to have fun. Use this approach when his flirty text doesn’t give you a lot of material to directly reply to. Whether you’re out with friends or staying in for a relaxing night, send a shot of you in action or the environment around you. Just don’t send explicit photos unless you two have agreed you’re both okay with that.^{[19]
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- Send a photo of the restaurant you’re in, a sunset, or whatever’s around you and say “I wish you were here with me.”
- Take a photo of a chair or the couch next to you and say, “I saved this seat for you, where are you?”^{[20]
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- Send him a photo of the activity you’re doing and say, “Wanna try this with me sometime?”

9

Text him a flirty description of what you’re doing.

Casually paint a steamy picture of yourself through text. Get him thinking about you and spark his imagination a little. The key here is to be subtle and not overdo it. Even if you’re fine with sending really explicit texts, he might not be okay receiving them, so keep it classy for now.^{[21]
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- If he asks what you’re up to, try, “Changing into something hot before I head out with the girls/boys.”
- If you respond late, you can say, “Sorry I didn’t see this. I just got out of the shower.”
- When he asks what you’re doing in the evening say, “Just got home from work. Guess what I’m thinking about…” You can follow this text up with a goofy, serious, or sexy comment depending on what mood you’re in and how well you know his comfort level.

10

Reject unwanted flirty texts politely.

Be honest and let your texting partner know if you’re uncomfortable. Even if you like the guy, it’s okay to set boundaries on the types of messages you want to receive. If he makes you really uncomfortable, you don’t even have to respond, though it can be helpful to let him know that you don’t like what he sent.^{[22]
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Expert Source

Julianne Cantarella
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.}
- If he sends too much, too soon: “I feel like I need to get to know you better before we start flirting like this.” Soften the text by adding a smiley face or “haha.”
- If you’re just not interested, send something kind, yet direct: “I think you're a really great person. I know you're going to meet someone special, but I just don't think that we're a match.”
- If you’re uncomfortable, end the conversation or change the subject: “Hey, that makes me a little uncomfortable. Could we talk about something else?”

11

Ignore one word texts.

One word texts don’t show a lot of effort or care. They indicate low romantic interest from a guy, though they can tell you if he’s more interested in hooking up. If you’re looking for a relationship, you deserve someone who is polite enough to put effort into the conversation, pick up the phone, and eventually talk face-to-face. If you start getting one word texts, feel free to leave the conversation.^{[23]
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Expert Source

Julianne Cantarella
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.}

12

Move the conversation past texting.

Set up a voice call or video chat. Sick of sending endless texts? Use a call as another stepping stone to meeting up in person. Texting doesn’t give you the whole picture on whether someone’s right or not for dating, but phone calls and video chats give you voice cues and see facial expressions.^{[24]
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Expert Source

Julianne Cantarella
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.}
- “I’m a slow texter. Want to call instead?”
- “I miss seeing your cute face. Are you down to video chat?”
- “I’ve spent way too much time staring at my screen today. Want to call instead?”
- “I have something amazing to tell you but it’s going to take way too long to type. Can we video chat?”

13

Plan a date and text your idea.

Talk to him about doing something fun. Then, ask if he’d be interested in trying it out with you! This tactic takes the pressure off the other person to initiate the date. After all, he might be too shy to initiate plans, so you can use this strategy to break out of the endless back-and-forth of texting.^{[25]
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- “Hey I heard Sonic Brick is in town. Do you want to go see them live?”
- “Want to come over? I’ve got your favorite things. Mac and cheese, beer, and of course, me!”
- “I’ve never been to a baseball game before. Would you want to go to one together?”
- “Have you tried the new coffee shop downtown? I’d love to go. You down?”