How to Make a Guy Think About You

Co-authored by Joshua Pompey

Last Updated: May 6, 2021 References Approved

When you have a crush on a guy, you want him to think about you just as much as you think about him. How can you make sure you linger in his mind long after you've said goodbye?

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Appealing to His Senses

1
Make eye contact. Locking eyes can cause crazy sparks. Don't try to stare deep into his soul (that could come off as creepy), but if you can catch his eye from across the room or hold his gaze while talking, you can have a major affect on him.^{[1]
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Research source} Eye contact causes arousal and can lead to feelings of attraction.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}
- Try catching his gaze and smiling as you look away. Then glance back at him again.
2
Touch him unexpectedly (but appropriately). Touching increases attraction and can elevate a person's heart rate, similar to what they experience when falling in love. Finding subtle ways to make physical contact will help you stay on his mind.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}
- Sit next to him so that your shoulders or legs barely touch.^{[4]
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- "Accidentally" graze his arm while reaching for something or brush fingers when you hand him something.^{[5]
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- Touch his arm to get his attention or emphasize a point, or when he's said something funny.
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3
Say his name. Don't use his name to start every other sentence, but drop it into conversation every once in a while. It will grab his attention, foster a sense of intimacy, and reminds him that you're thinking only about him.^{[6]
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Research source}
- If he says something that makes you laugh or blush, try saying his name quietly as you laugh.
- Nicknames can be fun, too. If you give him a nickname that only you use, your little inside joke will set your relationship apart.
4
Wear a subtle, signature fragrance. Don't pour your perfume all over yourself--if it's too strong, it's going to be a turn-off and may even cause headaches or allergic reactions. Apply just a little so he will be able to smell it when you're close to him. His mind will create an association between you and your fragrance.
- Consider a fragrance he might encounter when he's not with you. Try rose or lavender, or even something fun like pumpkin pie or coconut. Then, when he walks by a rose bush, he'll instantly think of you.^{[7]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Staying Independent

1
Live your own life. Don't wait around hoping to hear from him. Your life without him should be full and interesting. The biggest mistake you can make is to wait for a guy to make your life fun and exciting. That gives you way too much time to obsess about your crush and, frankly, makes you pretty boring. Get busy pursuing your own thing and it's likely he'll be wondering if he can tag along.
- Showing that you are an interesting, independent person all on your own. He'll be flattered that you're spending time with him not because you need him to make your life exciting, but because you choose to be with him.
2
Be yourself. Don't set yourself up for failure by pretending to be something you're not just to get a guy to like you. If he doesn't see through your act immediately, it will only be a matter of time before he finds out. Being comfortable with yourself projects confidence, which is irresistible.^{[8]
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- If you hate football but your crush is obsessed with it, don't pretend to be a fan. If you just don't know much about the sport, ask him to share his knowledge. If you're into it, then you've got another thing in common. If you're not, that's okay. Just be honest!
- If your crush always dates girly girls but you're more of a tomboy, don't reinvent yourself just so he'll notice you. If you can catch his interest because you're interesting and funny, you'll know he's into you for your personality, and not just because you fit his "type."
3
Don't overthink it. Obsessing over whether or not he thinks about you as much as you think about him is draining, can hurt your self-esteem, and can cause you to feel insecure.^{[9]
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Research source} Crushes are supposed to be fun! Focus on living that full, interesting life, and you won't worry so much about what's going to happen next.
- Don't let obsessing stop you from doing the things you love and turn you into someone else. Keep doing the things that make you you.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Making Yourself Memorable

1
Ask him questions about himself and listen to what he says. Most people really like to talk about themselves. It feels good when someone is genuinely interested in your opinion and experiences and wants you to share those things.^{[10]
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Research source} Ask about his hobbies or his favorite bands and movies. People tend to have a very positive opinion about people who ask them questions about themselves.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}
- Make sure you weigh in, too. The conversation shouldn't be all about him. Share your own thoughts and opinions (and don't feel you always have to agree with him).
2
Don't play hard to get. You may think that flirting up a storm with other guys will show him that you're desirable and have other options, but playing hard to get rarely works.^{[12]
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Research source} Research shows that we are more attracted to people who are selective. So if you're in a group and none of the other guys seem to hold your attention, but you have a big smile just for your crush, you're going to catch his interest.^{[13]
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- This doesn't mean you have to be rude, mean, or ignore other guys. But if you were thinking about flirting with someone just to make your crush jealous, you might want to think again.
3
Maintain a sense of mystery. If he knows everything about you right off the bat, he'll lose the fun and anticipation of slowly getting to know what makes you tick. So hold back a little bit. Don't call, message, or text him constantly. Give him the time and room to think and wonder about you. Let him be curious about you and what you're doing.
- Don't ignore him or be rude, but don't always be available.

Expert Q&A
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Question

What do I text a guy to make him think about me?

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert with over 10 years of helping people navigate the online dating world. Joshua has run his own relationship consulting business since 2009 at a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.

Joshua Pompey

Relationship Expert

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

The longer you can keep a conversation going with a guy, the more likely he is to keep you in mind. Try to avoid empty conversations and random small talk. A question like, "Have you seen this new Netflix documentary? I'm watching it right now and it's crazy," or, "You won't believe what my coworker just did," is going to always produce more natural, interesting conversations than, "What's up?"

Warnings

Don't change yourself in order to get the guy! Stay true to the things you enjoy: music, films, hanging out..

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