How to Flirt with a Guy

Co-authored by John Keegan

Flirting with a cute guy might seem like an impossible task, but it's easier than you think! You can flirt with a guy from across the room by relying on friendly body language, like a coy smile or a playful hair flip. To flirt with him in person, light touching, playful teasing, and sincere compliments work well. Flirting via text can be done with compliments and invitations to hang out.

Things You Should Know

Flirt with a stranger in public by flashing a smile and flipping your hair. And make sure you show up looking clean and well dressed.
Ask him thoughtful questions and offer him sweet compliments. Exit the conversation while he's still engaged, so you leave him wanting more.
Keep him entertained over text by paying him flirty compliments and sending him cute pictures from your daily life.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Flirting From Across the Room

1
Make eye contact.^{[1]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.} Eye contact is a key flirting technique which can be implemented anywhere, at any time, as long as your crush is in sight. While you don't want it to look like you're staring deep into his soul, lingering eye contact will show him you're interested.^{[2]
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- It will also be a good indicator of his interest—if he holds the eye contact, he's probably into you. If he looks away he might just be shy.
- One good trick is to look directly at him until he catches you looking. When he does, hold eye contact for a moment or two before smiling and looking away.
- If you're feeling particularly cheeky, you could throw in a wink!
2
Smile. Studies have shown that smiling actually makes you more attractive to other people, so work that to your advantage by flashing those pearly whites!^{[3]
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- Smiling makes you seem friendlier and more approachable, which might be just the push your crush needs to come over and talk to you!
- Smiling will also make you feel happier and more confident two essential ingredients of successful flirting.
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3
Use body language. Even if you haven't opened your mouth, you can say a great deal using just your body language. Smiling and eye contact are part of this, but there are a few other things you should be aware of:^{[4]
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- Don't cross your arms. Crossing your arms is like the opposite of smiling - it makes you seem closed off and unapproachable, thus scaring your man away. Some people do this unconsciously when they're nervous, so make sure to keep an eye on it.
- Flip your hair. Flipping your hair is a very feminine action, as it draws attention to your lustrous locks. It is also a well-recognized flirty action - so if you flip or play with your hair in front of a guy, he'll probably know you're flirting with him.
- Play with your jewelry. Playing with jewelry, such as a necklace, draws attention to your neckline, which many guys find attractive in a girl.
4
Find subtle ways to put yourself in his path. In order to flirt, you need to be around the object of your affection as often as possible. Make a conscious effort to put yourself in his path, without seeming too obvious.
- Walk past his desk on your way out the door, or take your dog to the same park he plays soccer at.
- Be careful not to overdo this, though, or you'll end up looking like a stalker.
5
Look your best. Give yourself an added boost of confidence by looking your very best whenever your crush is around. This doesn't mean tiny skirts, high heels and lashings of mascara - it just means that you should take some pride in your appearance by being well-groomed and neatly dressed. If you look your best, you'll feel your best - which is essential for successful flirting!
- Keep your hair clean and fresh-smelling, brush your teeth, shave where necessary, paint your nails - anything that makes you feel pretty and puts an extra pep in your step.
- Wear clean, non-wrinkled clothes that you feel comfortable in - you can't go wrong with a nice fitting pair of jeans!
- Try out different hairstyles - curly, straight, in a bun, in a fishtail braid - to create a fresh new look each day. The same goes for make-up - experiment with different colors and trends til you find a look that makes you feel good.
6
Consider making the first move. Sure, you could wait for him to come to you. But there's a lot of expectation on guys to start the pursuit, and it can get tiring. If you approach him, you'll instantly stand out among all the other girls he might consider dating — and you get to pick the perfect moment for you.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Flirting in Person

1
Start talking. One of the best ways to move the situation along and flirt more openly is to get involved in a conversation with your crush. Find an opportunity to chat him up about something you have in common, whether it's school, work, or a recent event.
- Open with a question. This will show you're interested in getting to know him, not just interested in talking about yourself. Ask him what he thought of the latest Fast and Furious installment or whether he did anything fun over the weekend.
- Try to avoid asking questions that can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no" - this is a surefire way to end the conversation before it's even begun.
- Transition to talking about him. People love to talk about themselves, so try to get him started on something he's passionate about - whether it's music, sport or plans for the future.^{[5]
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- Use his name a lot. It's a fact that people love to hear their own name in conversation - especially when it's used by a member of the opposite sex! Calling your crush by his name will send a tingle up his spine and create a sense of intimacy between you.^{[6]
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2
Smile and laugh. Smiling and laughing throughout your conversation shows that you're comfortable around your crush and, more than that, that you enjoy listening to him talk.^{[7]
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- It will also make you look more attractive and you will come across as a happy, fun-loving person - which is exactly how you want him to view you.
- Laughing at his jokes will make him feel funny, which guys always like. Be careful not to overdo it though - you don't want to sound like a cackling hyena and scare him away!
3
Break the touch barrier.^{[8]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.} Finding small ways to touch your crush is an obvious signal that you're flirting, and shows him that you're willing to make a small level of physical contact.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Candice Mostisser
Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.} Try doing it in these ways:^{[10]
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Greater Good Magazine
Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living
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- Touch his forearm lightly while you're talking. When he makes a funny joke, reach your hand out and touch his arm while you're laughing. Alternatively, you can do this as a form of playful or genuine consolation.
- Casually put a hand or elbow on his shoulder. This creates a sense of camaraderie between you and shows him that you feel completely comfortable around him.
- "Accidentally" lean into him if you're walking together. If you're already flirty and you want to move things to the next level, brush your hand against his and see how he reacts.
- Straighten his collar. Another sneaky tactic you can use to touch your crush is to tell him that his shirt collar (or tie) is crooked, so you can lean in to fix it. Stand squarely in front of him so you're face to face, then casually brush your fingers against his neck as you adjust his collar. When you're done, look him in the eyes and say "that's better!" before taking a step back.
4
Draw attention to your body. Guys are visual creatures, so nothing gets them going like a sneaky flash of flesh here and there. Subtly drawing attention to your body every now and then will get his heart racing and help him to realize how much he likes you.
- Rub your shoulder. Pretend you have an ache in your shoulder and pull down the neckline of your top, exposing your skin as you massage it. If you're lucky, he'll offer to rub it better for you.
- Ask if you should get your belly button pierced. For tummy-confident girls, one good technique is to pull up your top slightly and tell him you were thinking of getting your belly button pierced, then ask for his opinion on the matter. If he stammers out an answer, you'll know your cheeky trick caught his attention.
- Lick your lips. Make him think about kissing you by drawing attention to your lips in front of him. Lick your lips, bite them, apply some lip gloss - anything as long as you do it with an air of nonchalance.
- Be careful not to overdo things here - drawing attention to your body can work very well, but only if it's used in moderation. Otherwise you can seem desperate and attention-seeking, so avoid prancing around in front of him in a bikini (unless you're at the beach - in which case; go for it!)
5
Dance with him.^{[11]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.} Dancing with a guy is a fun way to show him that you're into him, without being too serious. It could be at a school dance or a nightclub, it doesn't matter as long as you get some one-on-one time together.^{[12]
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- Make it very obvious that you're choosing to dance with him. Grab his hands and pull him away from the group. If he goes with you willingly, you'll know that he's into it.
- You can try to dance sexily if you like, but avoid grinding on him or being too overtly sexual - it's inappropriate in front of other people and you might just make him feel uncomfortable.
- If he's an awkward dancer, you can try to make him feel more at ease by breaking out some wacky dance moves of your own - just be silly and have fun with it - if you can make him laugh, then it's worth it.
- Try to work in a slow dance if you can. Put your arms on his shoulders and let him hold you tightly around the waist. Gaze up into his eyes as you gently sway - he'll melt inside.
6
Pay him a compliment.^{[13]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.} Don't expect the compliments to go one-way — guys love to be complimented too! Making your crush feel noticed and appreciated shows him that you're interested in him as a person, and that you're paying attention to what's important.^{[14]
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Expert Source

Candice Mostisser
Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.} Here's how to make your compliment even more amazing:^{[15]
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- Be specific. The more specific you are, the more personal the compliment will be. If you say something generic such as "I think you're hot," chances will be that he's heard it before. If you focus on a specific trait or quality that you love, the compliment will be fresh and you'll stick out in his mind.
- If he's on a sports team and you saw him play, praise his performance. If you heard him playing his guitar or drums, compliment his playing. If you're feeling more intimate, tell him that you love the color of his eyes - and use it as an excuse to gaze into them.
- When giving the compliment, lean in close and lower your voice slightly. This makes the compliment seem intimate and secret.
- Make eye contact while you give the compliment and keep smiling slightly. This will highlight your sincerity and show him that you're genuinely impressed.
- Just make sure not to overdo it on the compliments or make them too fake. This will significantly lessen their impact and he might stop taking you seriously. One simple, sincere compliment is better than 100 fake ones.
7
Playfully tease him. Some playful teasing can be a great flirting technique - if used correctly. Teasing can create a sense of intimacy and show the guy that you have a sense of humor. Just be warned - if you give it, you need to be able to take it!
- Tease him about small, unimportant things - pretend you think he has a crush on his Math teacher, or joke that he loves his dog more than any human being.
- If he's particularly good looking, ask him how his Abercrombie interview went; if he's just been to the gym, make an exaggerated comment about his huge muscles - rather than being offensive, you want your teasing to be more of a veiled compliment!
- Never get too personal with your teasing, or he might take it the wrong way - insulting his family, his performance at work or school, or criticizing his appearance should be off-limits - at least until you know him better.
8
Leave him wanting more. Don't let the conversation drag on so long that he has time to get bored or distracted. Instead, walk away while he's still interested so that he can't wait to see you again.
- Leave an opening for next time by making theoretical plans. For example, if you both want to see a new movie that's coming out, you could say something like, "We should totally go see that movie sometime." That way, you've already planted the idea that you'll see him again.^{[16]
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  Candice Mostisser
  Relationship Coach
  Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.}
- Lean in like you want a kiss, but at the last minute turn your head and whisper "I had a great time" in his ear.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Flirting Over Text

1
Text him "accidentally". If you're not sure how to get a text conversation going, one good tactic is to text him pretending you think he's someone else, like you're best friend.
- Say something like "Haha, yeah right! So what are you doing this weekend?:)"
- Give it a minute or two, then send a second message saying something like "Oops, wrong person, sorry! But what are you doing this weekend? ;)"
- This will make it seem like you didn't intentionally start a conversation, but you're happy to have one anyway.
2
Don't be boring. Boring text messages are pointless - texting things like "what's up?" or "what's the weather forecast for tomorrow?" is deeply uninteresting and won't get you very far with your crush. Try to be unique and interesting - only send a message if you think it's going to bring a smile to your crush's face.
- For example, text something like "Just saw a giant teddy bear in the window of a toy shop - made me think of you." or "Quickly - help me choose: doughnut or chocolate muffin?"
3
Leave some questions hanging. Once you're in a text conversation, try not to be overly enthusiastic, responding to every single thing in his last message. These kinds of text messages can be confusing and make you seem too eager.
- Respond to one or two items per message, but try to leave some of his questions hanging. This will give you an air of mystery and make him want to know the answer even more.
- On the same note, don't bombard him with questions in every message - this will also make you seem over-eager and he might find responding more hassle than it's worth. Keep your messages short and sweet.
4
Be suggestive. Once things really get going and you feel more comfortable with your texting, you can start to heat things up a little - dropping not-so-subtle hints that you're interested in being more than friends.
- Play it safe at first - there's no need to be too racy, you just need to give him the idea that you want to be with him. Something cute like "I'm just about to watch a scary movie - wish you were here to stop me from being too scared!"
- If he responds in the same flirty tone, you can feel safe to continue. Try paying him a flirty compliment by saying something like "I can't stop thinking about how great your arms looked in that shirt today."
- If you want to get a little racier, you could try being even more suggestive. For instance, if he texts you but you don't reply for at least half an hour you could say something like "Sorry, I was in the shower..." His mind will do the rest.
5
Don't send more than two texts in a row without a reply. The rules of texting dictate that you should receive approximately the same number of texts as you send. This means that if you're sending your crush 20 messages a day and he's only responding to about 5 of them, you're seriously overdoing it.^{[17]
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- Try to exercise a little self-control and refrain from texting every time your crush pops into your head. Wait until you have something truly interesting and important to say. And if you send more than two texts without receiving a reply, cut yourself off.
- You should also avoid always being the first one to text. Be a little mysterious and aloof and wait for him to text you. If he does, you'll know he's interested.
- Never send messages that only contain answers like "k" or "lol". This can be extremely frustrating and will give your crush nothing to respond to.
6
Picture text. Picture texting can be a fun alternative way to communicate - and also ensures that your crush has a picture of you on his phone.
- Text him a picture of you and a group of friends at the back or mall and add "wanna join?"
- Text him a picture of yourself lying on the couch and write "Bored. Entertain me?"
- Text him a picture of a movie poster or concert flyer and just write "Interested?"
7
Make a date. Texting can be a great way to ask a guy out, particularly if you're nervous about doing it face to face. Try to keep it casual by saying something like:
- "Hey! I just watched the trailer for the new Batman movie, I'm dying to see it. Wanna go this weekend?" or "Craving a caramel frappuccino! Meet me after school? Coffee's on me. :)"
- Even if he says no, you don't need to panic. Over text, it's easy to play it cool. Just say something like "No problem. Some other time." Then leave it up to him whether to continue the conversation or not.

What Are the Do's and Don'ts of Flirting Through Body Language?

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Expert Q&A
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Question

Are compliments a good way to flirt?

Candice Mostisser
Dating Coach
Candice Mostisser is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingman/wingwoman services, 1-on-1 coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. She specializes in coaching others on best practices and strategies to succeed on first dates and in the online dating world.

Candice Mostisser

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Compliments are one way of flirting, but you shouldn't use them as a means of flirting very often. A lot of people think that flirting and complimenting go hand-in-hand, but it can also seem the most disingenuous. You risk seeming like you're not being very authentic if you use them too much.
Question

What if he doesn't realize that you like him?

Community Answer

Some guys are terrible at picking up on cues. You can tell him directly, or flirt with him in front of his friends so they figure it out and tell him later.
Question

What if you don't know him very well?

Community Answer

Make eye contact and smile. Once his eyes meet yours, you have an opening to approach and start a conversation.