How to Get a Boy to Like You in High School

Co-authored by John Keegan

Last Updated: November 2, 2022 Approved

You've spotted a guy who seems to check all the boxes––he's smart, he's cute, he's interesting. He may even be happy to talk with you on a regular basis. Getting him to notice you in a romantic way might be harder than establishing a friendship. While you can't make someone like you, you can get him to notice you in a different way.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Attracting Your Crush's Attention

1
Be yourself. Be confident in who you are. You don't want to lose a sense of yourself.^{[1]
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- Remember, you have lots of great qualities that the guy you like will be attracted to.
- Self-confidence will attract others. Having self-confidence doesn't mean go out and do stupid things in front of everyone. This will make you seem like a foolish attention seeker. It also doesn't mean to think you're better than everyone. Confidence is being nice to those around you, and not letting the opinions of others consume you. Be comfortable in your own skin, and love your body.
- Don't be afraid to be your own person. You have your own interests and preferences.
- You don't have to make yourself into a clone of your crush to get him to like you. Being different might make you seem more interesting to him.
- Maintain your own friendships even though you have a crush on a guy. Inviting him to do things with your group of friends might be a good way to break the ice.
- For example, if you are going to a sports game or ice skating with your friends, invite him to join in. Ask him to bring a friend or two if it's awkward at first.
2
Do nice things for the boy you like. Find out some of the things he likes and surprise him.^{[2]
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- Find out what type of cookie or snack he likes. Bring them to school and put them in his locker with a nice note.
- Make him a playlist of his favorite music and send it to him.
- Give him a jersey from his favorite sports team or a band t-shirt.
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3
Get involved in some of the same school activities. If he plays a sport or is in a school club, find ways where you can join in the fun.^{[3]
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- For example, if your crush plays a sport try to volunteer to help out during team events.
- At the very least, show up to his sports games or other extracurricular events to show support.
- Taking an interest in the same activities will let him know you are interested in him.
- If you can't outright join the clubs or activities he is in, offer to help out with an event.
- For example: "I am really good at artwork. I could help your theater group make some scenery for your play this month" or "I heard your team is having a charity bake sale. I would love to bake some cookies to help out."
4
Get to know his friends. Always be friendly and casual around them. ^{[4]
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- By blending social groups, you might be able to spend some more time with your crush or learn things about him.
- Being nice and friendly to his friends will let your crush know that you can spend time together with his social group.
- For example, if you know they are going to an event, ask if you can tag along.
- Invite his friends to do things when you are going out with your friends.
- Don't engage in gossip or rumors about him or his friends. Gossip can be very off putting to a guy.
5
Dress nicely to impress your crush. Wear clothes that fit your body type. Make sure your outfits look put together and tidy.^{[5]
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- Keep your hair in good condition. Make sure it is nicely styled for school and other events.
- You don't have to wear it in any particular style, and you can even experiment with different looks to see what he likes.
- Keep your makeup simple. Wearing heavy makeup can make you look like you are trying too hard.
- Go for a natural look that plays up your eyes and lips. Try a simple mascara and some neutral lipstick or lipgloss.
- Although dressing nice is a good way to get your crush to notice you, DON'T OVERDO IT. If you come to school with 50 pounds of makeup on, this will make him think you're seeking attention and fishing for compliments. Consider wearing a nice blouse and cute jeans. There is no need to wear 8-inch heels and a skin-tight minidress with sequins covering it. This will not only make you look like a Barbie doll, your crush will think you are trying to get other boys to like you.
- Making an effort in your appearance might get your crush to notice you, but you don't have to dress in a style that isn't "you". Go for a neat appearance in a style that fits your personality.
- You don't have to change your entire style. If your crush is into sports, consider wearing a sporty shirt or jersey the next day.

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Flirting With Your Crush

1
Make eye contact when you are talking to your crush. Eye contact is very important for flirting. ^{[6]
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- You can signal your attraction to a guy by making brief eye contact with him.
- Let the eye contact last for about 1-2 seconds, then look away.
- Prolonged eye contact before a conversation can be off putting. Staring makes people uncomfortable.
- Good rules for eye contact during a successful personal conversation are to glance his face while you are listening, then glance away every so often when you are talking.
2
Smile when you see the boy you like. Smiling is key to friendly non-verbal communication.^{[7]
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- This puts forth that you are self confident.
- A smile sets a pleasant tone for your interaction.
- Smiling as body language communicates approval and affection.
- Keep the rest of your face relaxed and casual.
- Don't force a smile that is too big or fake.
3
Keep your approach and first conversations light and playful. You don't need to reveal your deepest feelings to your crush when you are just getting his attention.^{[8]
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- Keep the topics of conversation light. Stick to things like school, your pets, your sports or other activities.
- Don't be afraid to be playful during conversations. Add a little humor by making small jokes.
- Keep your facial expressions bright and happy.
- For example, if you are in the same classes you could talk with your crush about an assignment or test and offer to study together.
- If you know he has a dog or a cat, ask to see pictures.
- Talk about your sports games or his. If he isn't involved in sports, pick something else he does like theater, reading, art etc. to remark on.
4
Use the right body language when interacting with the boy you like. You don't want to seem closed off or nervous. Have a confident posture. ^{[9]
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- Posture is very important for flirting. Don't use a "closed" posture; this is when you stand or sit with your arms crossed or legs tightly crossed.
- If you turn your body away from your crush you will seem disinterested.
- When flirting, try to keep your body relaxed and open. Keep your arms relaxed and uncrossed, and lean your body towards your crush.
- Mirror your crush's body language. If he has an open and casual body position, communicate the same body language in return.
- For example, if your crush is casually leaning against the wall, keep your body language similarly relaxed. Lean against the wall too, or stand in a relaxed position.
5
Compliment your crush early in the conversation. Say something nice about his accomplishments or appearance.^{[10]
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- Be honest and tell the truth when you give your compliment.
- Try to keep your compliments away from his looks initially. Give a compliment such as "You were great in last night's game" or "You were a really good partner during the group project".
- If you know he has worked on a project at school you can focus on that type of accomplishment: "I saw your art project at the fair. It was really cool".
- You can compliment a guy on his looks, but don't focus all of your nice comments on personal appearance. This can make you seem too focused physical appearance.
6
Do not talk too much about yourself. Gushing endlessly about yourself and your interests will make you seem self-centered.^{[11]
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- This communicates arrogance and self-focus.
- When you are interacting with your crush, you do want to talk about yourself a little bit.
- However, just stick to some relevant facts or stories about yourself.
- For example, if he's talking about sports and you play them, respond with comments or a story about your own athletic games.
- Listening is a very important skill when flirting.
- Instead of focusing on yourself in the conversation, say a few things about yourself then ask about him. Listen intently to what he is saying.
- For example, "I was in the play last year and it was a great experience. Are you going to try out for a role this year?"
- Nod and acknowledge that you are listening when he talks.
7
Talk and flirt over social media. Follow some of the same ideas for this type of talking.
- Keep your initial messages very casual. Say "Hey, what's going on?" or "Hi, what are you up to right now?"
- Ask the guy you like questions about his family, pets, sports or hobbies.
- You could say something like "I see you have some pictures of you playing with your little brother. That's cute. What do you guys do for fun?"
- Comment on the photos on his Facebook or Twitter.
8
Ask your crush out on a date. Try not to be stiff, nervous, or too formal when you do so.^{[12]
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- Bring it naturally into a conversation. If you are talking about a sports game, for example, you could interject with "Would you like to go to the game together on Friday?"
- Offer to do something that he is interested in: "So you like rock music? Why don't we go to the concert next week?"
- You could also be more direct and say "Hey, I really like you and I'd like to go out sometime."
- Remember to be confident. Self confidence is attractive and shows the boy you like that you are interested in him.
- Don't mumble or stutter when you ask a question. You want to seem happy and confident.

Expert Advice

Try these body language tips when you're flirting with the guy you like:

Don't overthink it your body language. If you're putting too much thought into your body language, it can make you very self-conscious, and you might start to feel very wooden or unnatural. Instead, pay attention to your breathing and the person you're talking to. Listen to the guy when he's talking, look at what he's wearing, and pay attention to how he expresses himself.
Keep your body relaxed and open. When you're talking to someone, it's important to give them enough space that they can move around and be free. Keep your hands at your side most of the time, and move them when you're talking. Also, try to avoid hunching over, which can cause others to perceive you as negative. However, it's okay to be relaxed when you're standing, with one leg leaning on the other in a natural way.
Try to mirror the other person. It can come across as needy when you're desperately trying to get the other person's attention. Instead, kind of match the other person's movements. If they lean in, you lean in, and if they decide to pull back a little, you pull back as well. You don't want to mimic their every move—just to create a natural space where you guys are in sync with each other.

From John Keegan

Dating Coach