A lot of young people think that a particular girl is very cute, but they don't have any idea how to get that girl to like them. Of course, all girls are different, so there's no guaranteed way to get a girl to like you, but there are things you can do to maximize your chances. All in all, it comes down to putting your best foot forward, being presentable, friendly, and confident, and making your interest known.

Part 1
Part 1 of 4:

Increasing Your Own Dateability

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    Work on your confidence. Confidence is often rated as one of the most attractive traits when it comes to attracting girls.[1] [2] If your confidence and self-esteem is low, it will make the whole meeting, flirting, and dating process a lot harder. Some methods for increasing confidence include:[3]
    • Eliminate negative thoughts about yourself. If you notice that you often have thoughts pop into your head that put yourself down, try to work on silencing and not dwelling on those thoughts.
    • Focus on others. One common trait of unconfident people is that they're too in their own heads. Try to focus more on what's going on around you, and what people are doing and saying.
    • Learn to accept failure. The truth is, you're going to rejected, and social situations of all sorts are not always going to go your way. Acceptance of this fact will take you far in terms of gaining confidence.
  2. 2
    Develop your interests. It may seem obvious, but it's worth saying that people with interests are more interesting. Find your passions and things to do beyond schooling, working, and socializing, and you will greatly increase your ability to attract girls. What interests you should develop are completely up to you. Think about what you like, and what hobbies you already have, and then find ways to pursue them further.[4]
    • For example, if you like computers, consider learning how to program as a hobby. There are many free websites that can be used to learn how to code.
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  3. 3
    Stay up to date on current events and popular culture. Simply put, the more in the loop you are about what people are talking about, the better conversationalist you're going to be. Sharing our thoughts and feelings about popular culture, such as movies, shows, and music, is one of the most common way through which people first bond with each other and establish friendships. And knowing about current events will make you a more worldly, informed person, which is attractive.[5]
    • Find a news website you like and start browsing it on a regular basis.
    • Talk to your friends about what shows and movies they've been into recently, and what music they've been listening to. You don't have to like everything that's popular, just learn what's out there and what you think of it.
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Part 2
Part 2 of 4:

Making a Good First Impression

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    Take care of your hygiene. Girls like people who take care of themselves. Putting in a little extra effort in your hygiene will give you an advantage over most people.[6]
    • Brush your teeth and floss daily.
    • Get regular haircuts and wash and condition your hair regularly.
    • Always wear deodorant. And body wash is your friend.
  2. 2
    Dress well. Believe it or not, girls care about the way you dress. Most people put very little effort into their outfits, so do yourself a favor and put some thought into the way you dress. Foremost, sure your clothes are always clean. Your clothes are a method of self-expression so find a style that reflects your personality and rock it.
  3. 3
    Approach the girl. If the girl you like is someone you don't already have some kind of friendship with, you'll need to start by making yourself known to her. It's up to you where and how you do this but some of the best places are: at school, in the cafeteria or the classroom before or after class starts, at a party or live music show in-between bands, or at some sort of social hobby, like cooking classes or yoga. Just find a reason to talk to her a little and exchange names. Keep it simple.
    • What you say to her when you approach matters much less than being confident and friendly when you do it. When in doubt, just compliment her on something she's wearing. If you say it sincerely with a warm smile, there's a good chance she'll be open to talking to you.[7]
    • Often times, the best and easiest way to start a conversation with anyone, including the girl you like, is to comment on something that's going on around you. For example, at a live music show, ask her what songs she's looking forward to hearing the headliner play.
  4. 4
    Establish the beginnings of a friendship. Once you know each other well enough that it's not unusual for the two of you to have a few short conversations here and there, ask her for her number, that way you can talk to her through texting as well. If you know some of the people she sits with at lunch, ask if you can join them sometimes, or invite her to sit with you and your friends during lunch. Or, for example, if you go to the same yoga class, ask if she wants to join you and your friends for lunch after class.[8]
    • Add her on Facebook too for good measure. That way you'll have another avenue to interact with her. Liking some of her statuses and noticing whether she does the same is a good way to subtly gauge her interest in you. It's been shown that people who are interested in each other tend to interact on Facebook more.[9]
    • Be careful not to text her too much or try to be around her constantly, as this can come across as trying too hard.
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Part 3
Part 3 of 4:

Communicating Well

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    Find ways to get chances to talk to her. After you've introduced yourself, look for opportunities to get more familiar with her. If you have a class with her, don't be afraid to strike up conversations. Say hi to her in the mornings as you pass her in the hall, or as you clock in for work. If you're friendly to her regularly than she'll likely be friendly back.
  2. 2
    Listen to her. One of the most important part of making a good impression on a girl is being a good listener.[10] When you talk to her, you should both be talking about the same amount, or, if she's talkative, let her talk a little more than you. And when she does talk, take an interest in what she's saying, and respond in a way that lets her know you're listening. The three keys to being a good listener are:[11]
    • Pay attention, in other words, don't be thinking about anything other than what she's saying. If she's talking about what she did over the weekend, don't be thinking about what you did over the weekend at the same time.
    • Make your interest in her words clear, through body language and facial expressions that react to what she's saying. The most basic example of this is nodding and saying "uh-huh" in an interested tone when she completes ideas, to show that you've heard and understand.
    • Give feedback, in the form of questions about what she's saying, and statements about how you can relate. For example, if she says she wants to get a cat once she moves to her new apartment, ask her if she had any pets growing up.
    • She'll be able to tell if you aren't really listening.[12]
  3. 3
    Make her laugh. Humor is one of the best ways to get a girl to like you. If you can get her to laugh regularly, then she'll like being around you. Everyone has their own style of humor, so the best thing to do is to let it come naturally. Make funny comments on things going on around you. Ideally, she'll even join in on the banter with you.[13]
  4. 4
    Compliment her. Compliments do two good things, they make a girl feel special and appreciated, and they hint that you're interested in her, without being too forward. Don't compliment her constantly as that will come off as disingenuous. Just compliment her when something she does really stands out to you in a good way.
    • Some of the best things to compliment girls on include: her clothes, her academic successes, positive traits in her personality, or her skill at a hobby she enjoys.
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Part 4
Part 4 of 4:

Sealing the Deal

  1. 1
    Flirt to make your interest known. If you want to be more than just friends with a girl, you'll have to behavior accordingly. That means flirting. Flirting is just special attention you give someone that you wouldn't give to a normal friend.[14] There are many ways to flirt, such as:
    • Non-invasive touches like touching her upper arm when making a point or sitting next to her so your legs slightly touch.[15]
    • Occasional eye contact with her that lasts longer than normal conversational eye contact.[16]
    • Playful teasing about little things. This is best done when the conversation is non-serious.
  2. 2
    Be nice to her friends and family. Girls will notice how you behave around her friends and her family, and they do care. Treating her friends with kindness and not like they are a burden to be dealt with will go a long way when it comes to attracting the girl you like. Depending on her relationship with her parents, this might even go doubly for them. Always be polite and kind when in the company of her parents. If you're invited over for dinner, bring a gift, offer to help with the dishes, and compliment the cook. Treating her parents and friends well isn't hard, but it is essential.
  3. 3
    Ask her out. Finally, once you've established a friendship and given her reason to believe you're interested in her, it's time to put your cards on the table. Ask her out on a date, and make sure that she knows it's a date. You can either do this by actually using the word "date," or you can say something like "it's my treat," or "I want to do something with just the two of us," and pay for whatever it is you two do. Some date ideas include getting lunch, seeing a movie, or going to a park.[17]
    • If she doesn't accept, don't sweat it. Maybe she just needs to know you better first. It's not worth wondering what you could have done differently.
    • Try hanging out with her in a group so you can both get to know each other. Afterward, ask her out on a date, like grabbing coffee or seeing a movie.[18]
  4. 4
    Take her on a good first date. On the first date, regardless of where it is, there are certain behaviors to avoid. Don't be late of course. Avoid using your phone, as that can easily become rude, and avoid talking too much. The conversation should be either be equal, or let her do more of the talking, and just be a good listener.[19] It's important to make the first date feel differently than your previous interactions as just friends. This means you have to really open up, and be vulnerable.[20]
    • Signs of a good date include: lots of laughter, a combination of fun conversation and deep conversation, lots of eye contact and smiling, and most importantly, leaving the date feeling like you've really bonded.
    • This best way to make a good first date likely is to focus on three simple things: relax, be your whole and honest self, and focus on your desire to get to know her.
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About This Article

Cher Gopman
Co-authored by:
Dating Coach
This article was co-authored by Cher Gopman. Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post. This article has been viewed 681,898 times.
11 votes - 64%
Co-authors: 53
Updated: January 25, 2023
Views: 681,898
Categories: Youth Flirting
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