How to Attract Guys

Co-authored by Alessandra Conti and Caroline Heiderscheit

Last Updated: December 23, 2022 References

If you're wondering what guys find attractive, you've come to the right place. In this article, we'll dish all the best secrets for making yourself irresistible to guys. We'll talk about some easy tweaks you can make to your appearance, and we'll also cover simple strategies for upping your flirting game so you can take things to the next level. If you're ready for guys to flock to you everywhere you go, read on!

1

Go for a sunny, high-energy vibe.

A positive, friendly, enthusiastic personality will be magnetic to guys. Everybody loves hanging around people that make them feel good. By being a super warm, excitable, and super outgoing, you’ll just be a genuinely fun person to be around. And if he’s having fun around you, there’s a good chance he’ll feel attracted, too!^{[1]
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- Show him that you love having fun. Challenge him to a round of pool, don’t be afraid to do some karaoke, and invite him for a dance.
- Try to keep conversation centered around the positives. Talk about fun things you’ve done lately, what you like about work, and avoid complaining.

2

Compliment him.

Flattering him can open the door to more flirtation and mutual attraction. When you signal your interest to a guy, he's more likely to have an interest in you. So, don't be afraid to walk right up and give him a sweet compliment. This will let him know you're interested, give him a segue into more flirting with you, and at the same time, show off your kind, positive personality.^{[2]
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- “I love your shirt! It really brings out the green in your eyes.”
- "I swear, there's something about your smile! I can't stop staring."
- "You probably get this all the time, but you have amazing arms."

3

Talk about your passions.

When you talk about things you love, your eyes light up. Everyone loves listening to people talk about the things they really care about—including guys. When you can, find a way to talk about the things in life that really light your fire. This could be anything from snowboarding, to your job at an elementary school, to the volunteer work you do at the Humane Society.^{[3]
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- "I try to commit at least one weekend every winter to a snowboarding trip. I just feel like myself out there, you know?"
- "I almost became a writer instead. Can you believe that? Now I can't imagine myself doing anything else. I just love working with kids."
- "I've been working at the Humane Society since I was in high school. There's no better feeling than watching an animal get adopted!"

4

Smile.

You look more attractive when you're wearing a cheerful expression. Like magic, by throwing your crush a smile, you actually become instantly more appealing to him. On top of that, you come off as easy-going, fun-loving, and kind—three things that are totally attractive to guys!^{[4]
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- Try finding reasons to smile in conversation. Pay attention to when he says something interesting or sweet. This is the perfect time to give a soft grin.
- Even if you haven’t made it to the conversation stage yet, this hack can still help. Make sure you're all smiles, even from across the room.
- Your smile is a powerful tool. Don’t be afraid to use it!

5

Make lots of eye contact.

Eye contact causes arousal, which can create attraction. Depending on how well you know each other, eye contact can be useful for different reasons. First, if you’re out at a bar or restaurant, locking eyes with a cute guy signals him to your interest (making him much more likely to reciprocate an interest in you!). Plus, the arousal caused by eye contact can be great news for you, too.^{[5]
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- Use eye contact in a crowded bar to signal that you’re interested.
- Or, if you’re already in conversation, make sure to hold deep, lingering eye contact while you chat. Either way, this should definitely help your chances!

6

Wear flattering, classic looks.

Guys love simple outfits that look amazing on your figure. Men don't usually follow or appreciate clothing trends. Try to avoid styles that are a bit eccentric, but super fashionable. He won't understand the trendiness behind the look, so he may not find it attractive (even if you do look cool!). Instead, go for something that makes you feel confident or a another look guys typically love:^{[6]
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- A tight, bodycon dress
- A simple white tee, jeans, and baseball cap
- Backless or sleeveless looks
- Anything red, like a cocktail dress with black heels
- Anything that looks amazing on your figure

7

Stick with natural-looking makeup.

Guys don't typically like super trendy, heavy makeup looks. Bright eyeshadow, black lipstick, and funky eyeliner, though fashionable, may not be a hit with them. Those styles are great for impressing girlfriends, but when aiming to impress your male crush, try going for looks that guys adore:^{[7]
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- A fresh face with zero makeup
- Smokey eyes
- A light blush look
- A bright red lip
- Sultry cat eyeliner

8

Play with your hair.

Flipping your hair can be a nonverbal signal of romantic interest. One of the key ways to be attractive to a guy is, simply, cluing him in to your interest in him. Studies show that by touching your hair, flipping it, or twirling some around your finger, you can hint that you're interested. ^{[8]
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9

Laugh at his jokes.

Guys are attracted to people who think they're funny. This makes him feel like the two of you are connected through a shared sense of humor. Plus, most guys think giggling is cute. When you’re in conversation, throw in a laugh to show that you like his humor, and him. Even from afar, laughing can make you look fun-loving and relaxed—AKA, things that he’ll love.^{[9]
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10

Be enthusiastic about what he has to say.

Positive responses signal interest and show off a warm personality. If he’s talking about his interests, his successes at work, or something fun he did recently with friends, try to make it clear that you find the topic interesting. Phrases like these can help you seem more attractive in conversation:^{[10]
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- “Wow, that’s really interesting. Tell me more about that.”
- “That’s amazing! That must’ve been really difficult to accomplish.”
- “That’s hilarious. It sounds like you guys live pretty crazy lives!”

11

Go out with just one other friend.

When you're in small circles, guys have an easier time approaching you. If you’re surrounded by a whole gaggle of pals, he may feel it's impossible to chat you up, even if he really wants you to. By hitting the pub, the cafe, or the restaurant with just one other friend, you’ll be super approachable.^{[11]
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12

Bring or wear something he can comment on.

When a guy wants to hit on you, he may feel he needs an opener. By reading a book in public, wearing a hat with a silly logo, or even as simple as mouthing the words to a song at the bar, you can give him a great way to start the conversation. Try to do or say things that can serve as an immediate conversation starter. This way, when a guys interested, he’ll feel like he can waltz right up to talk.^{[12]
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- Read your favorite book while waiting for a pal at the bar. Now, that cute guy across the room can ask you what you're reading.
- When out for a walk, wear your "gone fishing" hat. This way, a guy passing by can open with something like, "I love that! Are you an angler?"
- By singing along to the jukebox at a bar, you're expressing an interest in the music. Now he's free to walk up and say, "You like Lucy Dacus? Me too!"

13

Stay off your phone.

If you're busy texting, he'll have a hard time approaching you. When you’re looking to attract a guy in public, avoid anything that might put someone off from coming up for a chat. If you’re chatting on the phone, scrolling on TikTok, or listening to music, you’ll be putting out the vibe that you’re not interested in conversation.^{[13]
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Expert Q&A

Question

How do I attract guys if I don't like the way I look?

Alessandra Conti
Celebrity Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Alessandra Conti is a Celebrity Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and Co-Founder of Matchmakers In The City, a personal Matchmaking firm headquartered in Los Angeles, California. Alessandra is a Matchmaker behind MTV's, “Are You The One”, and is the go-to Celebrity Matchmaker for shows like NBC's Access Hollywood, and CBS's Face The Truth. Her dating and relationship advice has been featured on Forbes, Elite Daily, The New Yorker, The LA Times, and Fox News. For nearly 10 years, Alessandra has worked with clients ranging from celebrities to young professionals and leads a team of matchmakers responsible for hundreds of marriages through their knowledge of interpersonal relationships, body language, and lie detection. She holds a BA in Communications from American University and is a Matchmaking Institute Certified Matchmaker (CMM).

Alessandra Conti

Celebrity Matchmaker & Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Try starting from the outside and working your way in, because when you look good, you feel good. A very simple thing that can boost how attractive you feel is going to the gym regularly. It helps you get in shape and releases endorphins that help you feel good. Also, if it's in your budget, consider working with a personal stylist. They can help you put together outfits that will be attractive to whoever you're interested in.
Question

Is appearance all that matters when it comes to attracting a guy?

Alessandra Conti
Celebrity Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Alessandra Conti is a Celebrity Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and Co-Founder of Matchmakers In The City, a personal Matchmaking firm headquartered in Los Angeles, California. Alessandra is a Matchmaker behind MTV's, “Are You The One”, and is the go-to Celebrity Matchmaker for shows like NBC's Access Hollywood, and CBS's Face The Truth. Her dating and relationship advice has been featured on Forbes, Elite Daily, The New Yorker, The LA Times, and Fox News. For nearly 10 years, Alessandra has worked with clients ranging from celebrities to young professionals and leads a team of matchmakers responsible for hundreds of marriages through their knowledge of interpersonal relationships, body language, and lie detection. She holds a BA in Communications from American University and is a Matchmaking Institute Certified Matchmaker (CMM).

Alessandra Conti

Celebrity Matchmaker & Dating Coach

Expert Answer

No, being happy in your life is also so vital when it comes to attracting a partner. If you're not happy in your life, you are not going to attract anybody, let alone a romantic partner. Working on your own mental well-being and happiness is so important. Also, when you're on a date, it's important to just really enjoy your time and focus on the moment instead of worrying about attracting the other person.