This article was co-authored by Christina Jay, NLP and by wikiHow staff writer, Amy Bobinger. Christina Jay is a Matchmaker and Certified Life Coach based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Christina is the founder of Preferred Match (preferredmatch.ca), her matchmaking service that finds love for successful and elite individuals. She has over 10 years of coaching experience, earned her NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) certification through NLP Canada Training, and has a BA in Business Administration from Brock University.
There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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If your boyfriend wants you to meet his friends, it probably means he thinks you're a keeper! But it might leave you wondering how you can win over your boyfriend's friends and impress him at the same time. Don't worry—chances are, all you really have to do is be your amazing self. Here are our favorite tips for proving to your guy and his friends that you're totally the one.
Steps
Say yes to the chance to hang out with his friends.
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Embrace the chance to join the group. Even if you feel a little awkward or nervous about meeting your boyfriend's friends, don't turn down a chance to get to know them! If you're always saying no to hanging out, your boyfriend might think you don't care to get to know his friends. If he's picturing a long-term thing with you, that could be a deal-breaker![1] X Research source
- Remind yourself that hanging out with his friends is a great way to win them over. If they support your relationship, it could help your chances in the long run.
Be your boyfriend's biggest fan.
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Say great things about him to his friends. Chances are, your boyfriend's friends are going to be paying close attention to how you talk about him—do you appreciate his great qualities? Do you seem to really care about him? Prove you're a loyal partner by talking about your boyfriend in the most glowing light.
- Try saying something like, "Chris is such a good guy. I'm enjoying getting to know him, and I'm really glad to be meeting his friends!"
- Or you might say something like, "Jay makes me laugh all the time. I bet you guys always have a good time hanging out."
- Part of being loyal means definitely not flirting with his friends, so avoid giving too much attention to any one person who's not your boyfriend.[2] X Research source
Give your boyfriend a little space around his friends.
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He might not be able to give you his undivided attention. That's okay! Instead of feeling like you have to stay glued to his side, just hang out and enjoy the group setting.[3] X Research source
- For instance, don't expect your boyfriend to cuddle on the couch with you while his friends are watching a football game. Instead, pick a team to root for so you're part of what's going on!
- If the guys are talking about something you don't understand, like an inside joke or a story with some history you weren't a part of, keep a low profile. Smile, laugh, and listen, but don't worry if they don't break down every detail for you.[4] X Research source
- If you start to feel left out, wait and talk to your boyfriend about it after the two of you leave. That way he'll be able help include you in the conversation more next time.
Keep your body language positive and open.
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Positive posture, gestures, and facial expressions say a lot. Show your boyfriend that you're enjoying yourself by sitting or standing in a relaxed, comfortable way. Keep your arms uncrossed, lift your head, and roll your shoulders back. This will make you seem open and confident, even if you don't say a word.[5] X Research source
- You don't have to smile all the time, especially if it feels unnatural for you. Just try to keep your face relaxed and pleasant.
- When you're talking to someone, lean toward them slightly and make eye contact to show you're interested.
Be yourself.
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Don't worry too much about impressing them. Your boyfriend likes you for a reason! Chances are, his friends will like you when they get to know you, too—especially if they feel like you're authentic. That's why it's best to act in a natural, genuine way when you come around.[6] X Expert Source Christina Jay, NLP
Dating & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 11 February 2020.- For instance, if everyone's talking about basketball and you don't know anything about it, don't pretend to be a huge fan. Instead, say something like, "I've never watched much basketball but it's been fun to learn a little about it!"
- On the other hand, if do watch basketball, feel free to jump in the conversation and share your opinions.
- If it normally takes you longer to open up, don't feel like you have to force yourself to be outgoing. Just be friendly and let things unfold in their own time.
Keep your phone in your pocket.
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You can't make new friends if you're staring at a screen. If your boyfriend brought you around his friends, he's not-so-secretly hoping you'll hit it off with them. To do that, you have to make an effort to be present and engaged. It's okay to check your phone every once in a while, but don't spend the whole time ignoring the conversation while you scroll Insta or TikTok.[7] X Research source
- Yep, that means waiting until you get home to text your BFF about how much you think they should date your boyfriend's cute roommate.
- If you do need to answer a call, text, or email, excuse yourself to another room for a moment.
Get to know each friend individually.
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Look for each person's positive qualities. Learn their names and be curious about who they are and what they mean to your boyfriend. If you treat each person in the group in a gracious, friendly way, they're sure to enjoy having you around![8] X Research source
- If you're struggling to appreciate someone, don't try to tell your boyfriend to stop talking to them.[9] X Research source Instead, ask your boyfriend about them in a subtle way, like: "So, tell me more about Josh. How did you guys become friends?"
- That said, you don't have to put up with being mistreated. If someone is rude or says something really offensive, it's okay to say something like, "I'm really not okay with that."[10] X Research source
Treat your boyfriend how you normally do.
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Don't act differently just because his friends are around. The dynamic between you and your boyfriend might shift a little when his friends are around, but it shouldn't change very much. If you're normally sweet and supportive, be sweet and supportive. If you're normally kind of silly, go ahead and play around![11] X Expert Source Christina Jay, NLP
Dating & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 11 February 2020.- If you and your boyfriend normally tease each other a little, it's okay to do that in front of his friends as long as you keep it playful. Just don't go overboard or tease him about anything he's sensitive about—or anything he'd be embarrassed for his friends to hear about, like the way he kisses.
Be warm but keep PDA to a minimum.
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Save the making out for when the two of you are alone. If you're standing with your boyfriend and a group of his friends, it's fine to put your hand on his arm or shoulder once in a while, especially if you're talking about him! You might even be able to sneak in a quick hug or a peck on the cheek once in a while. But avoid anything that goes further than that, because it could make your boyfriend or his friends feel uncomfortable.[12] X Research source
- The same goes for cutesy pet names—when your boyfriend's friends are around, it's best to stick to his name or something generic like "Babe."
- Talk to your boyfriend about what you and he are both comfortable with. If he's super open to PDA but you think it would be awkward around his friends, it's okay to rein him in a little!
Keep any secrets to yourself.
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Act like you don't know the details of his friends' lives. Your boyfriend might treat you like a confidant, telling you some of the inner workings of his friend group. But just because you know that Caden's wife left him for her Pilates teacher doesn't mean you have to bring it up. If you do, your boyfriend will feel like it's not safe to tell you his secrets, and it could damage his relationship with his friends.[13] X Research source
- In fact, if someone else brings up a sensitive topic, it's sometimes better to answer like you didn't know by saying something like, "Oh really?"
Carry your own conversation if your boyfriend is busy.
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Talk to his friends if your boyfriend ends up preoccupied. Chances are good that your boyfriend is going to get pulled away now and then. At the very least, he might have to excuse himself to the restroom at some point. Don't shut down just because he's not there. Instead, chat about with whoever is closest to you.[14] X Research source
- Any small talk will do—ask questions about things like what they do for work, what kind of music they're into, or what TV they're watching right now, for instance.
- Try to find something you have in common so you'll have something to chat about the next time you hang out![15] X Research source
Invite his friends out sometimes.
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Show your boyfriend you support his relationships. Go further than just being "okay" with your boyfriend spending time with his friends—encourage it! It's important for everyone to have healthy relationships outside of their partner, and your boyfriend will really appreciate it if you make the effort to include his friends in your plans sometimes.[16] X Research source
- Plan a cookout or a night out and ask your boyfriend to call his friends and invite them. You could also throw a holiday party with a fun theme, like Ugly Christmas Sweaters or Silly Halloween Costumes.
- Or, host a game night with plenty of snacks and sodas.
Give your boyfriend alone time with his friends.
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Make other plans once in a while. Sure, it's important to get to know the friend group, and you should definitely take them up on most invites. But every once in a while, it's healthy for the two of you to spend some time apart. If his buddies call him for a guy's night out, be supportive and encourage him to go. Then, plan your own awesome evening![17] X Research source
- Arrange a hangout with your own friends, order takeout and have a spa night, or go see a movie, for instance.
- If your boyfriend feels free to maintain his own friendships and independence, he's going to feel a lot more confident in his relationship with you.
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References
- ↑ https://www.instyle.com/lifestyle/hump-day/hate-partners-friends-tips
- ↑ https://www.thetalko.com/15-tricks-to-win-over-his-friends/
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/advice/a8329/impress-your-boyfriends-friends/
- ↑ https://www.thetalko.com/15-tricks-to-win-over-his-friends/
- ↑ https://www.wisdomtimes.com/blog/how-to-impress-his-friends/
- ↑ Christina Jay, NLP. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 February 2020.
- ↑ https://www.thetalko.com/15-tricks-to-win-over-his-friends/
- ↑ https://www.instyle.com/lifestyle/hump-day/hate-partners-friends-tips
- ↑ https://askapril.com/i-hate-my-boyfriends-friends/
- ↑ https://www.instyle.com/lifestyle/hump-day/hate-partners-friends-tips
- ↑ Christina Jay, NLP. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 February 2020.
- ↑ https://www.thetalko.com/15-tricks-to-win-over-his-friends/
- ↑ https://www.thetalko.com/15-tricks-to-win-over-his-friends/
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/advice/a8329/impress-your-boyfriends-friends/
- ↑ https://www.instyle.com/lifestyle/hump-day/hate-partners-friends-tips
- ↑ https://www.thetalko.com/15-tricks-to-win-over-his-friends/
- ↑ https://www.instyle.com/lifestyle/hump-day/hate-partners-friends-tips