How to Meet Your Boyfriend's Parents

Co-authored by Jan & Jillian Yuhas and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: August 30, 2021 References Approved

Meeting your boyfriend’s parents is a great way to take your relationship to the next level. But if the idea of meeting the parents makes you shiver in fear, you’re not alone! While it can feel nerve-wracking, there’s no reason to worry—there are plenty of things you can do to win over your boyfriend’s parents.

Here are 13 tips to help you impress your boyfriend’s parents when you meet them for the first time.

1

Get some background from your boyfriend.

Ask about the dynamic between his parents and what they’re like. Do they live together still, or are they divorced? Does he have step-parents? Is his family super strict, or do they like to joke around and have fun? Getting some background knowledge will help you feel more confident when it comes time to actually meet up.^{[1]
X
Research source}^{[2]
X
Expert Source

Jan & Jillian Yuhas
Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists
Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.}
- You can also ask your boyfriend about some good conversation topics. For instance, maybe his dad is super into fly fishing or his mom is a painter. You can ask them about those things to show an interest in their lives.
- Be sure to ask your boyfriend about his parents’ culture, too. If it’s different from yours, there may be rules you need to follow so you don’t offend them.

2

Dress in a modest but flattering outfit.

Put on something that you feel comfortable and confident in. Take note of the location, too—if you’re going to a 5-star restaurant, you might wear something a little nicer. Stay away from ripped jeans or anything short enough that you’d wear it on a night out, since that can feel a little too informal. If you aren’t sure what to wear, ask your boyfriend for his input.^{[3]
X
Research source}
- If you have tattoos or piercings, it’s up to you whether or not you want to cover them up or leave them as-is. If you aren’t sure, ask your boyfriend how his parents might feel about them.
- Keep in mind that first impressions are lasting impressions, so you'll want to look your finest and represent yourself in the best way possible.^{[4]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Jan & Jillian Yuhas
  Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists
  Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.}

3

Meet in a neutral place if you can.

Go out for dinner or grab some coffee together. That way, no one gets judged for their living situation, and you can leave whenever you want to. Plus, going out for a meal or for coffee sets up a clear beginning, middle, and end, so there won’t be an awkward conversation about when it’s time to leave.^{[5]
X
Research source}
- You might not be able to choose the location, and that’s okay. If his parents want you to come over for dinner or head to your place, that’s totally fine!
- Try to meet his parents one-on-one before you meet the rest of his family. Although his aunts, uncles, and cousins might be dying to meet you, seeing everyone all at once can be a little overwhelming.

4

Be on time.

It will make a good first impression (and it’s just polite). Do your best to show up on time so you don’t keep your boyfriend’s parents waiting. If you find yourself running late, call your boyfriend or his parents and offer your sincerest apologies as you rush to get there.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- If you can, try to show up with your boyfriend. That way, you don’t run the risk of getting there before he does. Plus, he can give you a pep talk on the way there!

5

Bring a small gift.

If you’re meeting them at their home, a gift is a nice gesture. If you want to, grab a small bottle of wine or a bouquet of flowers to give to them when you arrive. It’s a nice touch, and it will make a lasting impression that they’re sure to remember for a long time. However, if you’re meeting at a restaurant or a coffee shop, a gift probably isn’t necessary.^{[7]
X
Research source}
- If you really aren’t sure what to buy, just ask your boyfriend. Keep things simple, and don’t spend a ton of money.

6

Ask his parents questions.

Show an interest in your boyfriend’s parents. Talk to them about their jobs, their friends, and their hobbies. Even if you’re nervous, this is a great way to start a conversation and get to know them more. Plus, they’ll appreciate that you came prepared with a few talking points! You could ask things like:^{[8]
X
Research source}
- “What do you two like to do on the weekends?”
- “So, Mr. Mavel, I hear you’re into woodworking? How’s that going?”
- “Jeremy told me you like to paint! What are you working on right now?”

7

Ask his parents for stories about your boyfriend’s childhood.

This is always a good way to have a fun, lively conversation. Put your boyfriend in the hot seat by asking his parents about what he was like as a kid. If they have any funny stories to share with you, you can all have a good chuckle over what your boyfriend used to get into. Try asking something like:^{[9]
X
Research source}
- “Was Chris always this funny? I feel like he must have been the class clown.”
- “Did Robert ever give you any trouble growing up?”
- “What was Danny like as a child?”
- Keep in mind that if your boyfriend is easily embarrassed or doesn’t like talking about the past, you might want to stay away from this topic. If you aren’t sure, ask your boyfriend about it before you all meet up.

8

Give his parents a few compliments.

Talk about their taste in dinner or how they raised their son. You could praise their choice in restaurants, thank them for meeting you, or talk highly about how they raised your boyfriend. The more nice things you can say to them, the more they will like you. Stick to one or two compliments in your conversation so you don’t go overboard. Say something like:^{[10]
X
Research source}
- “Dinner was delicious. You two have great taste.”
- “I’m so lucky to have Zack. You two really raised him right!”

9

Offer to help out.

If you’re in their home, help set the table or clean up. Some parents might not take you up on your offer, but it shows that you’re willing to pitch in. You could also help wash dishes or even cook part of the meal if his parents don’t mind! Helping out like this shows that you’re part of the family, not just an observer. Say something like:^{[11]
X
Research source}
- “Do you need any help clearing up? I can grab some of these dishes.”
- “I don’t want to leave you with all these dishes! How about I wash and you dry?”

10

Be yourself.

Your boyfriend’s parents will like you if you make their son happy. Overall, focus on getting to know his parents, and don’t worry too much about impressing them. As long as you can show them that you and their son are a good fit, they’re probably going to like you!^{[12]
X
Research source}
- If you’re in a more serious relationship, you’re probably going to see his parents a lot. The more you can be yourself, the easier your relationship will be over time.

11

Answer any questions his parents have about you.

They’ll probably be interested in getting to know you. Be prepared to talk about your job, your hobbies, and anything you like to do for fun. They might also ask you about your family or where you grew up, too. Be honest, but try to keep things mostly G-rated, too.^{[13]
X
Research source}
- As you chat with his parents, try to avoid swearing or over-sharing. Since you’re meeting them for the first time, be sure to be polite, and keep your answers respectful.
- You might also have to answer questions about your relationship or how committed you are to your boyfriend. If you ever feel uncomfortable, lean on your boyfriend for support, and let him handle the hard-to-navigate answers.

12

Stay away from politics or religion.

These touchy subjects are probably best saved for later. It’s fine to talk about your opinions once you get to know his parents, but the first meeting isn’t the time or place. If the conversation starts heading that way, either change the subject yourself or look to your boyfriend to steer you away from the topic.^{[14]
X
Research source}^{[15]
X
Expert Source

Jan & Jillian Yuhas
Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists
Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.}
- If his parents ask about your political or religious beliefs, you can be honest. However, try to be respectful, since they might have differing views than you.

13

Don’t participate in too much PDA.

Public displays of affection are best left at home. When you’re with your boyfriend’s parents, you two can hold hands or share a quick hello kiss on the lips. Stay away from any heavy petting or prolonged kissing, as that could make his parents feel uncomfortable.^{[16]
X
Research source}
- A good rule of thumb is to stay away from anything you wouldn’t do in front of your boss.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you start a conversation with your boyfriend's parents?

Jan & Jillian Yuhas
Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists
Jan Yuhas and Jillian Yuhas are Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists and the Founders of Entwined Lifestyle. They specialize in helping individuals and couples work on effective communication, healthy boundaries, and lifestyle wellness. They have also been featured on media outlets such as Yahoo Lifestyle and Bustle. Jan and Jillian both hold a BA in Psychology from The University of Illinois at Chicago and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy from The Adler School of Professional Psychology.

Jan & Jillian Yuhas

Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists

Expert Answer

Focus on creating a great first impression! To help, ask your partner if there is anything you need to be aware of prior to meeting them.
Question

What to talk about when you meet your boyfriend's parents for the first time?

Jan & Jillian Yuhas
Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists
Jan Yuhas and Jillian Yuhas are Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists and the Founders of Entwined Lifestyle. They specialize in helping individuals and couples work on effective communication, healthy boundaries, and lifestyle wellness. They have also been featured on media outlets such as Yahoo Lifestyle and Bustle. Jan and Jillian both hold a BA in Psychology from The University of Illinois at Chicago and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy from The Adler School of Professional Psychology.

Jan & Jillian Yuhas

Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists

Expert Answer

We recommend keeping the conversation amicable by leaving controversial subjects like politics, religion, money, etc. off the table until you have built a solid connection.
Question

What if the parents don't like you?

wikiHow Staff Editor
Staff Answer
This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

wikiHow Staff Editor

Staff Answer

First impression are important, but they aren't everything. If you feel like his parents don't like you after your first meeting, you can still change their minds! Talk to your boyfriend about why they might be hesitant about you or what you could do differently next time. You can also ask your boyfriend if his parents truly don't like you or if they just take a while to warm up to people.