How to Win Your Crush (Girls)

Co-authored by Imad Jbara and Kira Jan

Last Updated: January 14, 2022 References Approved

How do you get your crush to like you back? Just thinking about talking to them might make your heart pound and give you butterflies, but getting your crush to fall for you can actually be really fun and exciting. Read on for some advice on winning that special person's heart and getting your crush to fall for you.

1

Spend time around your crush.

The more time you spend with someone, the more they’ll like you. Sit next to them in class or ask them how their day’s going when you run into each other. If you two end up at the same party or standing around in the same group, try to move closer to them or start up a conversation. As time goes on, you’ll discover more things about them, and they’ll get to see how amazing you are.^{[1]
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Research source}
- Try to talk about something you both have in common like an upcoming event or a school project. You could say something like, “Hey, I’m stuck on that history project. Have you figured out how to do the last part?”

2

Show genuine interest in what they like.

Ask questions about their hobbies and passions. People like talking about their interests, so texting or talking about what your crush likes will help you find things you have in common.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Stefanie Safran
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 8 May 2020.} If you’re not sure what they’re into, check out their social media profile, or ask mutual friends. It’s even better if you can talk about a hobby, subject, or piece of pop culture that you both enjoy!^{[3]
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- Ask them to show you their favorite sport.
- Exchange Spotify or Apple Music playlists and check out their favorite bands.
- Watch a few episodes of their favorite show or stream their favorite movie.

3

Share your own interests with your crush.

Your talents and passions make you unique and interesting! If you’re an amazing singer, show off your skills at a karaoke night. If you’re an incredible swimmer, post a few photos from your latest swim meet on social media. Nothing’s more attractive than seeing a person totally in their element.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}
- If you’re texting, try bringing up a fun fact about your favorite subject or sharing a trailer to a movie you love.

4

Give them a compliment so they feel special.

Complimenting your crush is a casual way to start flirting. Drop a comment on their latest social media post, or bring up something you like about them IRL.^{[5]
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Research source} For a more direct approach, you can reply to one of their stories with a compliment or slide into their DMs. Here are a few examples for inspiration:
- Let them know you think they’re cute. Try something like, “Your smile is 😍.”
- Tease them a bit with something like, “It’s a good thing you’re cute, because you’re obviously not great at tennis.” The key here is to only bring up things they actually are amazing at.
- Tell them you like one of your personality traits. Send them a text like, “Ok, it’s taken me a lot of time to admit this, but I think you might actually be funnier than me.”
- Bring up one of their accomplishments. You could say something like, “I saw you play the other night ⚽⚡🥅. Can I get your autograph before you go pro? 😂”

5

Listen to them without distractions.

Giving someone your full focus shows that you care. Put away your phone if you’re talking IRL, and try to engage with what they’re saying.^{[6]
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Research source} Good listening can help you impress your crush, too! Try to remember small details they’ve mentioned like their favorite snack. Bonus points if you surprise them by bringing that snack the next time you meet up.
- Let them know you’re listening by reacting with phrases like, “Woah, then what happened?” or “Wait, tell me more about that.”

6

Make eye contact and smile.

Body language is one of the best ways to show someone you like them. Try catching your crush’s eye and smiling. Then, look away to be a little flirty. If they smile a lot around you, that’s a good sign they like you back.^{[7]
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- A shy crush might intentionally avoid eye contact with you, so don’t be discouraged if they seem to not want to look right at you.

7

Flirt by casually touching them.

Touching your crush can help you show them you’re interested. Give them a hug, or lightly touch their arm when they say something funny. If you have to walk past them, try putting your hand on their shoulder as you say “excuse me.” If you’re walking side-by-side, casually let your hand brush theirs.^{[8]
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- If you’re not sure whether or not they’re comfortable with you touching them, just ask. For instance, you could say, "Can I give you a hug?"

8

Use inside jokes to flirt over DM or text.

Inside jokes highlight something that only the two of you share. Call your crush by their silly nickname or mention a funny situation you both experienced. If you’re texting, you can use the classic line “Remember the time when…” as a way to jump into a hilarious story.^{[9]
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Research source} If you don’t have any inside jokes yet, you can try calling them a cute new nickname as long as it’s respectful.
- “Hey, remember that time when we taught my dog how to howl? I think that was a mistake…”
- “Remember when we made Mr. Carter laugh so hard he spit out his coffee? 🤣”
- “Hi, Taylor Tot. What’s up?”

9

Text them a funny photo, video, or GIF.

Humor is definitely attractive and it can set a playful vibe. The next time you text your crush, try adding in a few hilarious photos or GIFs. Send a meme that matches their sense of humor. You could also send a cute vid and say, “This reminds me of you!”^{[10]
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- Send a cute selfie once in a while if you want to remind them that you’re a total catch.

10

Send a good morning or goodnight text.

Show your crush you’re thinking of them. A good morning or goodnight text pretty clearly tells your crush you like them, because it means that they’re the first and last thing on your mind. Still, it’s not as direct as saying “I like you” so this is a low-stress move if you're feeling nervous. If your crush responds positively, you’ll know that they like you back!^{[11]
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- “Hey, good morning 😊”
- “Wish I could stay up texting you but I’ve gotta go to bed. Goodnight!”

11

Share a song that reminds you of them.

A cute gesture over text goes a long way. Sending your crush a song or personalized playlist is a super romantic way to win them over. It shows that you took the time to think about music they’d like, and it gives you two your own soundtrack.^{[12]
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Research source} If you know their music taste, throw in a couple of songs you know they already like plus a few songs they might not have heard.
- You can also just send them a song and say, “Hey, this made me think of you :)”

12

Hint that you like them if you're feeling shy.

Drop a hint that you’re crushing if you’re not ready to ask them out. Letting someone know you like them is actually proven to make them like you more!^{[13]
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Research source} You could tell their friends that you think that person is cute or just ramp up the compliments. If that seems like too much, ask your friend to talk to your crush and hint that you like them.
- You can also try asking them to hang out in a group setting with a bunch of your other friends.

13

Ask them out if you're feeling confident.

It’s totally okay to make the first move. In fact, confidence is really attractive! You can be direct and tell them you like them, or you can get creative by giving them a cute note. If you’re feeling shy, you can ask them out via text, too.^{[14]
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Research source} You can ask if they want to watch a movie with you, go on a study date, or grab food together.
- For a simple approach: Try saying, “Hey, I like you. Do you want to go out sometime?”
- For a creative approach: Use a funny photo or pun. For instance, send a photo of grapes and text, “I think we’d be grape together. Wanna go out?”

14

Be the best version of yourself.

Your crush will fall for you naturally when they see you’re a wonderful and genuine person.^{[15]
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Expert Source

Stefanie Safran
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 8 May 2020.} Be kind and generous to other people, and treat everyone with respect.^{[16]
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Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Above all, stay true to who you are, so your crush can fall for the real you. After all, you’re pretty incredible!
- Take good care of your body. Eat a healthy diet, exercise, practice proper hygiene, and wear clean clothing that reflects your personal style.
- Pursue hobbies and interests that matter to you. People find passion really attractive!

Expert Q&A
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Question

How do I win my crush over another girl?

Stefanie Safran
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Stefanie Safran is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Owner of Stef in the City, a Matchmaking and Dating Coaching business focused on an honest and hands on approach. Stefanie labels herself as “Chicago's Introductionista®” as she has over 15 years of experience in the matchmaking industry. Her work has been featured on various media such as: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, and Refinery29. She holds a MBA in marketing and branding from Loyola University in addition to her BA from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

Stefanie Safran

Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Answer

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It's not necessarily super productive to think about it as a competition. You can't control the way other people feel. Just make sure you look good, be kind, and try to cultivate a meaningful relationship with them.
Question

I'm in the same class with my crush and he makes me smile and laugh because he is very funny and cool. So how do I tell him I like him?

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You could say something like, "I think I have a crush on you. No pressure, but I just wanted to let you know because I think you're really cool." If you're feeling shy about it, you could lead into it by texting him and saying, "I heard someone has a crush on you. Guess who?" and then see if he guesses right. If he doesn't guess you, tell him!
Question

What if the boy I like is kind of annoying and inappropriate but really nice to me?

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It's okay to like someone even if they don't act perfectly all the time. However, it's not okay if he makes you or other people feel uncomfortable with inappropriate behavior. In that case, tell an adult or a teacher. You can also tell him, "Hey, it's not nice when you do that. It makes me uncomfortable. Please stop."