How to Understand a Woman's Mind

Be glad when a lady is happy. When she is happy with you, she may express enormous caring and affection.^[1] Therefore, to some, she may seem clingy, somber, or "boring."^[2] But just clinginess does not promise that she will continue to appreciate or forgive someone who devalues or hurts her. Keeping the history of past interactions of people in mind, realize this information colors her thinking and how/why she acts at any one time.

• Take special care to affirm, share, and reinforce her feelings of joy, content, and rightness. Share happiness wholesomely, letting her enjoy the experience. Everything is transitory; so it is key to let the wonder and awe progress naturally. Feelings of friendship and kinship will be added to her collections of closeness, safely banked.

Ask about upsets sensitively with caring words. You might ask, 'What hurt you?' or 'What are your feelings? Please help me understand. I need some more details. Would you please help me to understand why you are mad/upset/disappointed?' Listen and accept - openly and patiently.

• If you do not understand a complex explanation, ask her again without prodding or guiding her: "What really hurt you?", and say "I'm not sure that I got the feelings that you were trying to communicate."
• Make sure you don't try to solve everything for her. Women want to feel listened to, heard, and understood — not explained to or not have all their problems solved by another person.

Explain carefully and patiently what is confusing to you -- in a non-confrontational way -- without assuming/presuming what she meant. If you act angry, frustrated or very disappointed, she may shut down and not disclose deeper reasons behind a disagreement. Patience and gentle sensitivity are keys to drawing out her articulation. Realize, too, that thoughts and feeling are not easily put into words or communicated.

Touch, such as momentarily, gently grasping her hand or arm, while speaking may show caring and go a long way toward helping her feel safe and secure. This may help her in coming to a realization of her true thoughts/feelings and divulging them in a way such that you can be comfortable in a truer understanding of her essence in this matter.

Identify and correct any missteps quickly and sensitively. She must feel safe in sharing, and you will need to remain open to a slight step away from your matter-of-fact attitude.

• If the breach is great, seek a way of apology specifically for her and your specific shared circumstance.
• If you happened to have hurt a lady through thoughtless word, action, or inaction, and you would like to explain yourself, but do not know her mind, you must know that your approach, necessarily, depends greatly upon what you did or said that was so disruptive.
  • If what you did was totally insensitive and crass, she may never be able look at you in the same light and it may be too much to expect that trust can be regained easily, if ever. She may, in fact, never be able to see you as the same person. However, if what you did to her is more trivial and does not seem so much to her, you might approach her sensitively to good effect.
• The chances of being forgiven by a woman lessens if you wronged her or humiliated her deeply. She may shut you out.
  • If after forgiving you she acts uncaring toward you, it shows that she looks at the bad experiences as a painful one. You may keep this in mind and give her space and be as amicable you are able. A woman is more likely to forgive someone slowly while seeing how the offender behaves in the longer run. Many ladies approach happenings on an intuitive level, through emotional channels and try to understand the intents rather than trusting in the words alone (or at all).^[3]
• Wondering why she is being aloof, humiliating you, or becoming hardened -- it most probably means your efforts seem, to her, not enough to make up for what you did or your lack of true caring for her well-being, including internal, deeply felt concerns.

Hold back your astonishment and exclamations, if a woman reacts in unexpected ways after a bad experience. Take this as a sure sign that you must show her more closeness, care, and concern to open her closed emotional state, even a bit. Only then will you get a more favorable reaction. If you do not act thoughtfully with her, she likely become more deeply hurt and act more bitterly.

• When she loses all hope about you, she may present an emotional chill. She may exhibit the "I could care less about you and your doings" attitude. Nothing you say or do will seem to make a difference to her at this point -- nor will your needs or wants.

Know how to approach a girl. If you have something to share with a woman, you may first try to plan some of the wording of your approach. Often a girl or woman will not mind or not be hurt by a disagreement, if what she is told is said thoughtfully. The more considerate you sound and use sensitive words, the more she will be willing to listen to you, to begin with. If you start off being suddenly rude or commanding, she may look at you as someone who likes to give orders because of ego/to feel in charge. In order to speak with a girl, you need to know polite ways to begin your conversation.

Empathize with a woman. A woman or a girl's mind is affected by her feelings and thoughts.^[4] You may not be able to understand some of them. What you could do is empathize with her about whatever is bothering your lady friend. You may wonder how this will help you in understanding a woman? The more you empathize with her, the more she may open up with you and feel comfortable to be herself with of you.

• This states that many women are rather defensive about being offended or randomly scrutinized and stereotyped for being a woman by others. This has a high chance of her building a facade as a tough act or as her acting extra-frilly and especially feminine as over compensating.
• The more comfortable and unjudged she may feel while she is with you, the more she is going to speak her mind and get rid of any facade.

Dare to be yourself. The more you let yourself out, the more she is likely to observe this and allow herself to be revealed to you.^[5] The more you hide your feelings or true reactions, the more she is prone to gauge your hesitation and react unwilling to blend with you emotionally.^{[6] [7]}

• Conversing is one of the major ways to understand a woman's mind.
• A human is bound to have weaknesses and strengths. If you are okay with your weaknesses and strengths and are not hiding yourself, a woman is also most likely to open up about her weaknesses and strengths.

Sense her level of interest.^[8] If a girl talks, asks, shares and seeks your guidance a lot, you can tell that she feels comfortable with you. The more a woman is comfortable and at ease with someone, the more she is likely to share and bond a lot. This sharing may seem like stressful to some. But girls usually speak and share mostly with those she considers friendly and nice human beings.

Be emotionally honest with her. This is one of the most important things that a lady would value in anyone. A woman may tend to be cheerful, slightly teasing, moody, sometimes inquisitive, curious or confused. Depending upon your rapport or understanding with her, she may act differently with you. Sometimes a woman or a girl can be challenging.^[9] Sometimes her joke, teasing or laughing may test your sense of humor or ability to listen and understand.^[10] If you would like to understand a woman's mind, you may tell her the truth about how you are feeling about her behavior. She may act stunned or vulnerable but she will get the hang of how you are and act accordingly.

Learn to understand a woman's complex reactions.^[11] A lady may act quite unpredictable at times. She may seem calm from her appearance, but may suddenly lose her temper or act strange. Each person has her own way to tackle her past experiences. She has her own mental mechanism to limit past experiences both pleasant and unpleasant from interfering in her present situations. However, a woman tends to keep her past in mind which reflects in her day to day expressions. If you tend to feel too perplexed with her, find the time to get answers to the question about what bothers or affects her attitude. If she feels comfortable about herself around you, she may tell you.

• Some women also experience mood swings rapidly due to their PMS.^{[12] [13]} It will benefit you to be aware of the fact that her health and physical changes have a constant impact on her which reflects in her dealings or reactions while interacting with others.
• It will help you to know that knowing a girl's mind or being able to surmise her reactions may not have a hard and fast rule. Instead, it is about spending pleasant time with her. If you could do that and see her feel okay with being herself, you will have a better understanding of the lady in question.

Do not disparage the wonders of the marriage/bridal "distinction with a great difference" for many women. It starts much earlier: a marriageable woman may have a "bridal hope chest" of things put away for when she marries. She may have a nice set of clothes for the honeymoon called the "bride's trousseau". There is no parallel to "bridal planning" in the "groom's" reality.

• With nothing like a "groom's hope chest," husband's trousseau or groom's planning, this means the man mainly has to agree on the event: where, when, show-up and say: "I do." Kiss the bride. Go on the honeymoon.