How to Turn Your Best Friend into Your Boyfriend

Last Updated: February 17, 2022 References

Developing feelings for a friend of the opposite sex is an age-old dilemma, and it can be difficult to know what to do. Do you tell him that you like him, wait for him to declare his undying love for you, or suffer with your unrequited feelings in silence? Don’t despair! There are a few things you can do to turn your best friend into your boyfriend, and hopefully turn a great friendship into an even better relationship.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Taking Stock of the Situation

1
Figure out how he feels about you.^{[1]
X
Expert Source

Cristina Morara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.} Just because you have started to feel differently about your friend recently doesn’t mean that he has any clue what’s going on. He may be perfectly happy with how your friendship is going, and not have any inclination towards changing your relationship at all. On the other hand, he may very well feel exactly the same as you, and be wondering about your feelings toward him.
- Start noticing how he acts around you. If he seems suddenly fidgety or self-conscious around you, this could be a sign that his feelings toward you are evolving into something more.
- Notice his body language: does he open the door for you, touch the small of your back, or look at you more often? If so, your feelings for him might be reciprocated.^{[2]
  X
  Research source}
- Does he talk to you about other girls, or does he treat you like one of the guys? If so, his feelings for you might be more platonic.
2
Ask your friends for advice. Your other friends may be able to provide a little insight into whether or not they think your crush may return your feelings. It can be difficult to gauge someone’s interest when you are already close to them as friends. Your friends may be able to give offer some perspective on the situation, and help you decide whether to continue pursuing the relationship or to remain friends.
- It is possible that your best friend has newfound feelings for you too, and this new development has become obvious to everyone else but the two of you. If your friends are already asking about the two of you, this is a good sign!^{[3]
  X
  Research source}
- Talking to your friends (the ones you can trust to not break your confidence) can help you sort through your own feelings too, and help you to clarify what you want to have happen with your relationship with your best friend.
Advertisement
3
Be certain of your own feelings. Before you tell your best friend that you want more out of the relationship and potentially lose a great friendship, make sure that your own feelings are genuine and not a passing fancy. Even if your friend does feel the same as you, make sure that you’re willing to risk losing your friendship to pursue the romantic relationship.
- Remember that it may not be possible to go back to being best friends if things don’t work out, but all growth toward something new requires a risk. You just need to decide for yourself if it’s worth it.^{[4]
  X
  Research source}
- If you have been friends for a long time, take your time exploring your feelings! There’s no rush to make your best friend your boyfriend, and making the transition from friends to something more is a big deal. The slower you make the change, the better your chances are of avoiding hurt or awkward feelings on anyone’s part.^{[5]
  X
  Research source}

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Showing Him Your Girlfriend Potential

1
Take care of your appearance. Make an effort to always look your best. You don’t need to make drastic changes, or start wearing heavy makeup if you usually don’t. Just take good care of your body, stay fit, eat right, and make sure that you look well-rested and feel confident when you see your best friend.
- If you usually wear your hair pulled up, start letting it down.
- If you wear perfume, less is more. You want to smell good, but not overpower him with a cloying scent.
- Making small changes to your appearance will make your friend notice that there is something different about you. He may not be able to put his finger on it right away, which will make him start to wonder about you and to think about you differently.^{[6]
  X
  Research source}
2
Be truthful around him. It’s always best to be honest at the beginning of any relationship. If your best friend feels that he can trust you, he will be more willing to let you in to his heart.
- Make your actions match your words, and always be sincere with your reactions.^{[7]
  X
  Research source}
3
Be mysterious. Start acting a little differently around him, such as looking at him often or blushing around him. He will eventually pick up on the difference, and he may catch on that you like him.
- If you usually spend a lot of time together, pick up a new hobby, or start spending more time with your girlfriends. He may miss you and wonder about you more. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder, as the saying goes.^{[8]
  X
  Research source}
- By trying new things and being interesting, not only will you be more intriguing to your crush, you will have fun!
4
Be true to yourself. After all, you want to take your already genuine and healthy friendship to the next level, so don’t try to act like someone that you’re not. Try to remain the same around him as you did before you realized you liked him. Try to talk to him normally, even if you do feel that your feelings for him must be so obvious that they’re written all over your face.
- Keep your life full of the things that make you feel happy and fulfilled. A relationship should add to your already full and whole life. Be careful that you don’t expect your potential new relationship with your best friend to “complete” you.^{[9]
  X
  Research source}
5
Be a good friend. Avoid allowing your feelings towards him to hamper your friendship. Remember friendship is the key, and that most good relationships start with and are based on a strong friendship first and foremost.
- Always be there for him, listen to him, and be loyal to him. Forgive him if he hurts your feelings, and offer support to him when he needs it.^{[10]
  X
  Research source}

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Dropping Hints That You Like Him

1
Flirt with him. He should feel that you are trying to shift things.^{[11]
X
Expert Source

Cristina Morara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.} Act playfully when you’re around your crush, and joke with him. When you are interested in someone, you can feel awkward and uncertain, so be careful that you don’t start acting strangely around him.^{[12]
X
Research source}
- Continue to be the same funny, good-humored girl that he has always known you to be, but be just a little more sexy and flirtatious.
- Increase physical contact with him, such as giving him longer hugs than usual, and touch his arm while you’re talking.
- Tilt your head flirtatiously when you talk to him, and play with your hair.
2
Invite him to parties as your date. If you get invited to a party or dance, ask him to join you as your date. Take care to make it clear that you’re not asking him to accompany you as a favor from a friend.
- Do your best to look amazing, like he’s never seen you dress before. He’s more likely to see you in a different light if you make a drastic change to your appearance for this one special occasion.
3
Communicate with your eyes. Make eye contact with him while he’s talking and listen attentively. A directed gaze such as this communicates to the other person that you find them interesting and appealing. Laugh, smile often, and sit close to him when you’re together.^{[13]
X
Research source}
- Use his whole face as a focal point while you are listening to him, and if you feel like you are staring, look away for a moment as if in deep thought, or move your gaze to another part of his face.^{[14]
  X
  Research source}
4
Tell him how you feel. Set aside a time to talk to him, in a place where you are both comfortable. It will be scary telling him how you feel, since you are putting yourself out there without being sure of his feelings for you. That being said, do your best to take the drama out of it, or you will only make him uncomfortable, especially if he has no idea what’s coming.^{[15]
X
Research source}^{[16]
X
Expert Source

Candice Mostisser
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.}
- Make sure that you tell him how you feel at an appropriate time, when neither of you is stressed out or in a hurry.
- Meet at a place where your friend won't feel corned by your confession.^{[17]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Candice Mostisser
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.}
- Share a story with him, either about yourself or a favorite memory of the two of you. Sharing a memory with him will naturally help you open up to him, and will give him a sense of belonging with you.
- Keep it short and sweet. You can say “Hey, I like hanging out with you” or “you mean a lot to me. Do you want to take our friendship to the next level?”
- You could also say something like, "I've started feeling a certain way about you, but it's okay if you don't feel the same. I really cherish our friendship more than anything."^{[18]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Candice Mostisser
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.}
- Or you can ask him playfully “Have you ever imagined us together as more than just friends?”^{[19]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Cristina Morara
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.}
5
Accept his answer. If he says no, remember to accept and understand his response, whatever it may be. Your ability to understand and respect each other is most likely one of the reasons why you both became friends in the first place. Also, give yourself some credit, because telling your best friend you have feelings for him is a brave thing to do!
- If he says no, but you both still want to remain friends, give yourself and him a few days to get past any lingering awkwardness.
- Even if his response is what you were hoping for, your interactions with each other are likely to be awkward for a little while as each of you figures out how to act as you move from friends into a relationship.
- Remind your friend that you don't need an immediate answer! They can take some time to think things over, if that's easier.^{[20]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Candice Mostisser
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.}

Warnings

Know that if you do end up being in a relationship with him, and you end up breaking up, then it may be harder to become best friends again.

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 47 Not Helpful 2
Avoid letting any of your other friends change your feelings towards him. If they are a true friend, then they should most likely respect your crush towards your other friend.

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 38 Not Helpful 4
Make sure that he doesn't have a girlfriend before you ask him, as that could be very embarrassing, and/or awkward when you tell him that you have a crush on him, and he drops the news that he has a girlfriend.

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 29 Not Helpful 5