How to tell if his feelings for you go beyond just wanting to be friends

Ah, the age-old question: does he have feelings for me? Even though it might feel like you’re trying to crack a secret code, there are actually plenty of hints he can give (both consciously and subconsciously) that’ll reveal if he’s harboring some stronger feelings for you. So what kinds of signals should you be looking out for? Keep reading to find out.

This article is based on an interview with our dating coach, Eddy Baller, owner of Conquer and Win. Check out the full interview here.

Things You Should Know

  • A guy who has strong feelings for you will want to know everything about you and will make a genuine effort to get to know you better.
  • He'll also use body language that makes him appear more approachable, like eye contact and having an open, relaxed posture.
  • He'll probably be comfortable confiding in you about his emotions and telling you about what’s happening in his life.
  • He'll likely make an effort to spend time with you and talk to you often, whether in person or over the phone.
1

He wants to know more about you.

2

He shows genuine interest in what you have to say.

5

He compliments you a lot.

  1. He wants to show that he appreciates you and finds you attractive. While he may be a bit shy when he says it, a guy who has some strong feelings for you makes sure to point out all the great things about you. The way he compliments you can range from praising your style, your achievements, or your goals. Some nice things he could say include:[3]
    • “Is that a new shirt? It looks really good on you!”
    • “You did so well on that project the other day. I’m proud of you!”
    • “I think the work you’re doing is so awesome and inspiring.”
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7

He goes out of his way for you.

  1. This is a guy’s way of making sure you’re taken care of. Things like going grocery shopping with you, helping you set up a new piece of furniture, or walking your dog when you’re out of town are all things he might do to both spend more time with you and make sure your needs are taken care of. A guy who has strong feelings for you likely wants you to be happy and stress-free at all times, so he’ll do what he can for you.[5]
    • He might even go so far as to do things that could be an inconvenience to him, but he’ll be happy to do it if it’s for you.
    • He might drive you all the way to the airport or to your work that’s in the opposite direction of his own office. Or maybe he’ll cancel his plans to help you move.
    • If he’s long-distance, he might send you money to buy yourself a nice meal or will carve out time specifically in his schedule to talk to you.
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8

He tries to make you laugh.

  1. A man might think you’ll find him more appealing if he can make you smile. Whether it’s with a funny joke or by doing something silly, a guy who has feelings for you will try his best to make you laugh. Just like the saying goes, if you’re happy, he’s happy. He’s also likely trying to impress you with his charm and wit to make himself appear more attractive to you.[6]
    • If he teases you, just know that it’s likely because he finds it super cute and endearing when you get all flustered and a bit irked.
    • Feel free to tease him right back, but just make sure you’re both being respectful and not crossing any boundaries.
9

He smiles more when he’s around you.

  1. He’s probably just genuinely happier when you’re together and can’t hide it. You probably know from firsthand experience how difficult it is to hold in a bright smile whenever you see someone you like or something that’s just really cute. Well, a guy who has feelings for you is probably experiencing the exact same thing, and you’re the person who's making this big goofy grin appear on his face.[7]
    • If you have feelings for him too, why not do your best to keep him smiling and laughing while you’re together?
    • Tell him a funny story or joke and goof around when you’re together to make him feel at ease around you.
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10

He makes eye contact when you talk.

  1. This is a man’s way of telling you he only has eyes for you. Maintaining eye contact with someone isn’t an easy thing to do. When we’re shy or nervous, we tend to look literally anywhere else than directly into the other person’s eyes. If you notice he maintains steady eye contact with you, that’s a pretty big sign that he’s interested in you. He’s focusing all of his attention on you and basically tuning out everything else out.​​
    • Of course, there’s a difference between intently gazing at you out of interest and just flat out staring. Paying attention to his body language, like if he’s smiling and nodding his head, can help in making this distinction.
    • Some guys might find it even more difficult to make eye contact with you because they’re shy.
12

He’s more physically affectionate around you.

  1. He’s testing out the waters and seeing how comfortable you are with being touched. This might be his attempt to get closer to you and bridge the distance—both metaphorical and physical—between you two. While you’re talking, he might casually touch your arm or elbow, or lean on you when he’s laughing. He might even go a bit further and touch your back or try to hold your hand when you’re walking, which can be more obvious signs that he has feelings for you.
    • If his touches make you uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to tell him to stop, even if you know he doesn’t mean to cause harm or discomfort.
13

His body language is relaxed and open.

  1. Men adjust their body language around people they like to appear approachable and friendly. The body language of someone who’s comfortable around you includes things like leaning towards you when you speak, sitting back relaxed when in a chair, and keeping their arms by their side instead of crossing them. A guy who has feelings for you will likely want to look approachable and like someone you can be comfortable around.[9]
    • Other things he might do include using big, sweeping gestures to appear more friendly and mirroring your own movements.
    • A lack of fidgeting on his part means he’s both comfortable and doesn’t want to make you nervous either.
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14

He makes an effort to look good for you.

  1. He likely wants to do everything he can to make himself more attractive to you. If you noticed that he wears nicer clothes or comes with his hair styled to perfection when he meets up with you, it might mean that he’s harboring some feelings for you. Of course, some guys just naturally put in the effort to look good, but if you notice a big difference between how he looks when he’s with you versus other people, it might be because he likes you.
    • If you notice he’s putting a bit more effort into his appearance just for you, be sure to compliment him and let him know you notice and appreciate the effort.
15

He contacts you more often.

  1. He’ll text and call you more just so he can keep talking to you. It’s likely that he’s not spamming you 24/7 with messages, but you’ve probably noticed that you two talk a lot more often than you might have previously. A guy who has strong feelings for you just wants to keep talking to you, whether it’s in person or over the phone, since you’re likely constantly running through his mind.[10]
    • He might send you little texts throughout the day to let you know how his day is going. Or he might call you to rant all about what’s been going on.
    • If he’s long-distance, he might make an extra effort to always respond to your texts and calls quickly so you know you’re a priority.
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16

He misses you when you’re gone.

21

He acts aloof at times.

  1. If a guy’s playing hard to get or is a bit shy, he might pull away. He might be trying to play hard to get by creating some distance in the hopes that you’ll want him more. Or he might be backing off and ignoring you because he’s afraid he might have come off too obvious or clingy before. Whichever it may be, just know that acting distant and aloof can also be a sign that a guy secretly has feelings for you.[16]
    • If you want to get him to stop ignoring you, approach him and try to start a conversation about why he might be ignoring you. A direct conversation is the best way to get rid of any misunderstandings.
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23

He talks about the future a lot with you.

24

He thinks of ways to surprise you.

  1. Men will do little things to make the other person feel appreciated and taken care of. A guy who has caught feelings for you might put extra thought and time into coming up with things he can do to surprise you and make you smile. He wants to make a good impression and also do something thoughtful for you because you deserve it. Some things he might do include:[18]
    • Bringing your favorite take-out to your work for lunch
    • Planning a fun day trip
    • Grabbing you a cup of coffee as a midday pick-me-up
    • Getting your friends together to throw you a surprise party
    • Taking the day off to take care of you when you’re sick
    • Sending you a surprise gift card to your favorite store or restaurant
    • Calling or texting on an important date or anniversary
28

He introduces you to his family.

  1. He wants to bring you more into his personal life. Maybe you’ve found yourself being invited around to spend time with his family more often. Or maybe he’s making an effort to introduce you to his extended family too. Either way, it’s something you might interpret as a sign he has feelings for you since he’s bringing you into such a personal part of his life.[22]
    • He might also want to subtly show you off to his family since maybe he’s told them about his feelings for you.
    • His family might also be curious about you and want to get to know you better, so they might invite you over for a meal or event.

Expert Q&A

  • Question
    How do I hint to my crush that I like them?
    Eddy Baller
    Eddy Baller
    Dating Coach
    Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.
    Eddy Baller
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Giving your crush small compliments like "I like your haircut" lets them know that you're interested in them. You could also invite them to grab a coffee with you without any other friends tagging along.
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Expert Interview

Thanks for reading our article! If you'd like to learn more about dealing with a crush , check out our in-depth interview with Eddy Baller.

About This Article

Eddy Baller
Written by:
Dating Coach
This article was written by Eddy Baller and by wikiHow staff writer, Ali Garbacz. Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others. This article has been viewed 2,027 times.
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Co-authors: 6
Updated: March 6, 2023
Views: 2,027
Categories: Relationships
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