30 Undeniable Signs That He’s Harboring Strong Feelings for You

How to tell if his feelings for you go beyond just wanting to be friends

Written by Eddy Baller | Edited by Ali Garbacz

Last Updated: March 6, 2023 References

Ah, the age-old question: does he have feelings for me? Even though it might feel like you’re trying to crack a secret code, there are actually plenty of hints he can give (both consciously and subconsciously) that’ll reveal if he’s harboring some stronger feelings for you. So what kinds of signals should you be looking out for? Keep reading to find out.

This article is based on an interview with our dating coach, Eddy Baller, owner of Conquer and Win. Check out the full interview here.

Things You Should Know

A guy who has strong feelings for you will want to know everything about you and will make a genuine effort to get to know you better.
He'll also use body language that makes him appear more approachable, like eye contact and having an open, relaxed posture.
He'll probably be comfortable confiding in you about his emotions and telling you about what’s happening in his life.
He'll likely make an effort to spend time with you and talk to you often, whether in person or over the phone.

1

He wants to know more about you.

When guys are really into someone, they want to learn everything they can about them. A guy who has some strong feelings for you wants to know every single thing about you. From surface level things like your favorite color and food, to more personal things like your happiest memory or your dreams for the future. He probably wants to ask you all kinds of questions, so have your answers ready.
- In return, you can ask him similar questions if you’re interested.
- Even if you’ve been friends for a while, this is a great opportunity to get to know him on a whole new level.

2

He shows genuine interest in what you have to say.

Men really pay attention when they’re talking to someone they care about. One way you can tell is by his body language. When you talk, he might lean forward, maintain eye contact, or tilt his head to the side to show he’s genuinely interested in and curious about what you have to say. He is also quiet and attentive when you talk, and he doesn’t try to cut you off or interject his own opinion too often.
- Another way he might show he’s really listening to you is by asking thoughtful questions based on what you said.

3

He wants to keep the conversation going.

A guy who likes you will want to talk to you for as long as possible. He’ll probably always have another interesting question or opinion at the ready so that he can keep the conversation going with you. A guy who has strong feelings for you wants to spend as much time with you as possible, so they’ll likely make an effort to keep talking to you—possibly until you both actually run out of things to say.^{[1]
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4

He remembers the small details about you.

People just generally remember more about the people they like. Even if you just mention something in passing, it’s likely that he’s filing that away for later. He might use this information to give you a really thoughtful gift later on or do something nice for you that you mentioned liking.^{[2]
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5

He compliments you a lot.

He wants to show that he appreciates you and finds you attractive. While he may be a bit shy when he says it, a guy who has some strong feelings for you makes sure to point out all the great things about you. The way he compliments you can range from praising your style, your achievements, or your goals. Some nice things he could say include:^{[3]
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- “Is that a new shirt? It looks really good on you!”
- “You did so well on that project the other day. I’m proud of you!”
- “I think the work you’re doing is so awesome and inspiring.”

6

He often reminds you how much you mean to him.

He wants to make sure you know how important you are to him. If you’ve been friends for a while, you might notice that he doesn’t miss an opportunity to tell you how much he values having you in his life. Even if he doesn’t explicitly say that he might want something more with you, you can definitely tell he has stronger feelings for you from how much he cherishes and loves the relationship you do have.^{[4]
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7

He goes out of his way for you.

This is a guy’s way of making sure you’re taken care of. Things like going grocery shopping with you, helping you set up a new piece of furniture, or walking your dog when you’re out of town are all things he might do to both spend more time with you and make sure your needs are taken care of. A guy who has strong feelings for you likely wants you to be happy and stress-free at all times, so he’ll do what he can for you.^{[5]
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- He might even go so far as to do things that could be an inconvenience to him, but he’ll be happy to do it if it’s for you.
- He might drive you all the way to the airport or to your work that’s in the opposite direction of his own office. Or maybe he’ll cancel his plans to help you move.
- If he’s long-distance, he might send you money to buy yourself a nice meal or will carve out time specifically in his schedule to talk to you.

8

He tries to make you laugh.

A man might think you’ll find him more appealing if he can make you smile. Whether it’s with a funny joke or by doing something silly, a guy who has feelings for you will try his best to make you laugh. Just like the saying goes, if you’re happy, he’s happy. He’s also likely trying to impress you with his charm and wit to make himself appear more attractive to you.^{[6]
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- If he teases you, just know that it’s likely because he finds it super cute and endearing when you get all flustered and a bit irked.
- Feel free to tease him right back, but just make sure you’re both being respectful and not crossing any boundaries.

9

He smiles more when he’s around you.

He’s probably just genuinely happier when you’re together and can’t hide it. You probably know from firsthand experience how difficult it is to hold in a bright smile whenever you see someone you like or something that’s just really cute. Well, a guy who has feelings for you is probably experiencing the exact same thing, and you’re the person who's making this big goofy grin appear on his face.^{[7]
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- If you have feelings for him too, why not do your best to keep him smiling and laughing while you’re together?
- Tell him a funny story or joke and goof around when you’re together to make him feel at ease around you.

10

He makes eye contact when you talk.

This is a man’s way of telling you he only has eyes for you. Maintaining eye contact with someone isn’t an easy thing to do. When we’re shy or nervous, we tend to look literally anywhere else than directly into the other person’s eyes. If you notice he maintains steady eye contact with you, that’s a pretty big sign that he’s interested in you. He’s focusing all of his attention on you and basically tuning out everything else out.
- Of course, there’s a difference between intently gazing at you out of interest and just flat out staring. Paying attention to his body language, like if he’s smiling and nodding his head, can help in making this distinction.
- Some guys might find it even more difficult to make eye contact with you because they’re shy.

11

You catch him staring at you.

Guys usually can’t help looking at the object of their affection. You feel his eyes on you, but he looks away as soon as you catch him. Is this not a scene stolen straight from a romance movie? Our eyes are naturally drawn to the things we like, so you can likely catch him staring at you from across the room, even if he tries to hide it by quickly looking away.^{[8]
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- He might be mustering up the courage to come talk to you, or he’s staring because he finds you really attractive.

12

He’s more physically affectionate around you.

He’s testing out the waters and seeing how comfortable you are with being touched. This might be his attempt to get closer to you and bridge the distance—both metaphorical and physical—between you two. While you’re talking, he might casually touch your arm or elbow, or lean on you when he’s laughing. He might even go a bit further and touch your back or try to hold your hand when you’re walking, which can be more obvious signs that he has feelings for you.
- If his touches make you uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to tell him to stop, even if you know he doesn’t mean to cause harm or discomfort.

13

His body language is relaxed and open.

Men adjust their body language around people they like to appear approachable and friendly. The body language of someone who’s comfortable around you includes things like leaning towards you when you speak, sitting back relaxed when in a chair, and keeping their arms by their side instead of crossing them. A guy who has feelings for you will likely want to look approachable and like someone you can be comfortable around.^{[9]
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- Other things he might do include using big, sweeping gestures to appear more friendly and mirroring your own movements.
- A lack of fidgeting on his part means he’s both comfortable and doesn’t want to make you nervous either.

14

He makes an effort to look good for you.

He likely wants to do everything he can to make himself more attractive to you. If you noticed that he wears nicer clothes or comes with his hair styled to perfection when he meets up with you, it might mean that he’s harboring some feelings for you. Of course, some guys just naturally put in the effort to look good, but if you notice a big difference between how he looks when he’s with you versus other people, it might be because he likes you.
- If you notice he’s putting a bit more effort into his appearance just for you, be sure to compliment him and let him know you notice and appreciate the effort.

15

He contacts you more often.

He’ll text and call you more just so he can keep talking to you. It’s likely that he’s not spamming you 24/7 with messages, but you’ve probably noticed that you two talk a lot more often than you might have previously. A guy who has strong feelings for you just wants to keep talking to you, whether it’s in person or over the phone, since you’re likely constantly running through his mind.^{[10]
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- He might send you little texts throughout the day to let you know how his day is going. Or he might call you to rant all about what’s been going on.
- If he’s long-distance, he might make an extra effort to always respond to your texts and calls quickly so you know you’re a priority.

16

He misses you when you’re gone.

He probably isn’t too fond of the idea of you being away for a long time. Even though you’re not going to be there to witness it firsthand, you might hear from your friends that he’s extra mopey when you’re not around. He might text and call you even more when you two don’t get to meet up as often. If he’s feeling something strong for you, he probably just wants to spend as much time with you as possible.^{[11]
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- Or maybe he’ll pull a reverse card on you and do things to make you miss him, such as not texting you as often.

17

He gets jealous about other guys.

Some men can be a bit territorial of the people they like and care about. Fidgeting, crossing his arms, or glaring when you mention other men in your life are all signs that he’s jealous. When you’re around other guys, you might notice that he tries to stand a bit taller and appear more imposing. To him, other men are probably a threat that could get in the way of his feelings for you.^{[12]
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18

He checks in on you often.

He just wants to know if you’re okay and maybe if he can see you later. If he has strong feelings for you, you’re probably on his mind a lot. So it’s pretty natural that he’ll want to know what you’re doing and where you are. He might text you with a casual “Hey, what’s up?” in the hopes that he can make plans with you later.^{[13]
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- If you’re more long-distance, this could be especially true.
- Since he isn’t there by your side physically, he’ll probably be extremely curious about what you’re up to.

19

He “stalks” your social media.

Looking through your posts is one way a guy gets to know you. Admit it, we’ve all been there. When there’s someone we like, it’s not that unusual that we go and look up all of their social media accounts to see their old photos and posts. Following you on social media is just one way a guy with feelings for you can get to know you better.^{[14]
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- He might be one of the first few people to like a new post of yours, will probably always view your stories, and can often be found leaving comments.

20

He doesn’t mention other women to you.

He doesn’t want to make it look like he’s interested in anyone else. Something you might have noticed is that he never seems to be interested in other women. That’s probably because he doesn’t want to risk making you jealous if you reciprocate his feelings, or make it look like he’s looking to be with someone else.^{[15]
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- Or he could totally go the other route and purposefully try to make you jealous of other girls in the hopes that you realize your own feelings for him.

21

He acts aloof at times.

If a guy’s playing hard to get or is a bit shy, he might pull away. He might be trying to play hard to get by creating some distance in the hopes that you’ll want him more. Or he might be backing off and ignoring you because he’s afraid he might have come off too obvious or clingy before. Whichever it may be, just know that acting distant and aloof can also be a sign that a guy secretly has feelings for you.^{[16]
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- If you want to get him to stop ignoring you, approach him and try to start a conversation about why he might be ignoring you. A direct conversation is the best way to get rid of any misunderstandings.

22

He acts nervous around you.

Realizing his feelings for you can make a guy suddenly act shy. Just because a guy might have realized he has feelings for you doesn’t mean he’ll suddenly start being super forward about it with you. In fact, he might become even more shy once he realizes he likes you. He might talk really fast and stumble over his words with you, or he might be extra conscious about the space between you two.
- Even if you don’t reciprocate his feelings, do your best to help him open up and relax.
- Ask him questions to get him talking and compliment him to help build up his confidence.

23

He talks about the future a lot with you.

To him, you’re probably a big part of his future. This doesn’t necessarily mean he’s telling you all about the plans he has for you two to get married and have kids. It’s more like he makes comments about still hanging out with you years down the road and staying a part of each other’s lives.^{[17]
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- He might want to make plans with you for later, like taking a trip or spending the holidays together.
- Talking about the future might also mean he’s open to sharing his future goals and dreams with you.

24

He thinks of ways to surprise you.

Men will do little things to make the other person feel appreciated and taken care of. A guy who has caught feelings for you might put extra thought and time into coming up with things he can do to surprise you and make you smile. He wants to make a good impression and also do something thoughtful for you because you deserve it. Some things he might do include:^{[18]
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- Bringing your favorite take-out to your work for lunch
- Planning a fun day trip
- Grabbing you a cup of coffee as a midday pick-me-up
- Getting your friends together to throw you a surprise party
- Taking the day off to take care of you when you’re sick
- Sending you a surprise gift card to your favorite store or restaurant
- Calling or texting on an important date or anniversary

25

He’s open about his feelings with you.

A man will feel like he can be more vulnerable with the person he has feelings for. Being open and vulnerable can be tough for anyone, but you notice that he feels comfortable enough to talk to you about these more complicated topics. He likely feels a sense of closeness to you and feels like he can confide in you. Of course, the one thing he probably won’t tell you is how he feels about you.^{[19]
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- Show him you care by actively listening to what he has to say and give advice if you think he could benefit from it.

26

He shares a lot with you about his life.

Men will be more open to sharing things about themselves with people they like. From big life events to things that might seem a bit more trivial, a guy who has feelings for you wants you to know what’s happening in his life. Just how he’s eager to know everything about you, he’s open to sharing things about himself with you.^{[20]
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27

He talks about you to his friends.

Guys can’t help but brag about the person they have feelings for. Don’t be surprised if his friends already act like they know you even if you’re just meeting them for the first time. A guy who’s harboring secret feelings for you may not be so secretive around his friends, and he’ll likely tell them endlessly about how wonderful you are.^{[21]
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- Introducing you to his closest friends can also be a sign that he likes you and considers you a really important part of his life.

28

He introduces you to his family.

He wants to bring you more into his personal life. Maybe you’ve found yourself being invited around to spend time with his family more often. Or maybe he’s making an effort to introduce you to his extended family too. Either way, it’s something you might interpret as a sign he has feelings for you since he’s bringing you into such a personal part of his life.^{[22]
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- He might also want to subtly show you off to his family since maybe he’s told them about his feelings for you.
- His family might also be curious about you and want to get to know you better, so they might invite you over for a meal or event.

29

He makes plans that involve just the two of you.

A guy who has feelings for you will want quality alone time with just you. While hanging out with a big group of friends is all good and fun, a guy who has strong feelings for you will also probably want some quality time between just the two of you. Could you call this a date? That’s up to you and your own feelings to decide.^{[23]
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30

He’s protective of you.

The last thing he wants to see is you getting hurt. If someone has something mean to say to you, you can probably bet that he’ll jump to your defense and tell them off. If you get into an argument or debate with someone, he’ll probably take your side. You’re important to him, and he doesn’t want to see you hurt.^{[24]
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- If you’re having negative thoughts about yourself, you can most likely count on him to be there to cheer you up and help you build up your self-confidence.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do I hint to my crush that I like them?

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.

Eddy Baller

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Giving your crush small compliments like "I like your haircut" lets them know that you're interested in them. You could also invite them to grab a coffee with you without any other friends tagging along.