How to Respond when a Girl Says She Is Busy: 11 Ways to Reply

Co-authored by John Keegan and Hunter Rising

Last Updated: November 5, 2022

You’ve worked up the courage to ask your crush to hang out, but she said she’s busy—how should you respond? Is she actually busy, or is she just not interested in hanging out? Don’t worry—if you play things right, you can figure out how she actually feels and maybe even make plans to hang out another time. Keep reading for tips and example texts so you know how to reply when she says she's not available.

1

Brush it off casually.

Make the rejection seem like it isn’t a big deal to sound less disappointed. If she sees that you’re not upset when she says she’s busy, you’ll come across as easy-going. Let her know that you can always reschedule even if you don’t have a specific time in mind. That way, it’ll sound like you’re still down to get together later on.
- “Oh that’s okay, we’ll find another time.”
- “No worries, maybe we can go later.”
- “You know, I actually had something come up too so it’s okay.”

2

Wish her a good day.

Showing you’re supportive lets her know how kind and caring you are. Even if you can’t get together or go on a date, she’ll appreciate that you’re still kind and considerate to her. Give her a few words of encouragement if she needs to get something done or tell her to have a good time if she has other plans.
- “Aw bummer! Well, I hope you still have an amazing day!”
- “Oh well, we’ll figure it out sometime. Have a great time!”
- “Hope you have fun today!”

3

Mention when you’re free.

Your crush can choose a time that works best for her. If she seems into you and is genuinely busy, she’ll still want to get together at another time. List a few times when you’re available in the next few weeks so she can work it into her schedule. She might even offer times when she’s free so you can plan a date that works well for both of you.
- “That’s okay, maybe we can figure something out this weekend?”
- “If you have any free time later tonight, give me a call!”
- “I can do it next Friday, so just let me know if that works better.”

4

Ask her what she’s up to.

She’ll see that you’re still into her if you’re curious about her life. Don’t interrogate your crush about why she can’t go on a date with you. Just keep the questions light and fun so they sound like you’re genuinely wondering more about who she is as a person. That way, you can keep the conversation going and learn more about her.
- “It’s alright. Are you up to anything fun?”
- “Oh dang! What happened, did work call you in?”
- “Big plans for the evening then?”

5

Try playfully teasing her.

Showing her your sense of humor will make your conversation more cheery. Teasing works best if you’ve been chatting with your crush and she seems into you. When she tells you she has other plans, poke a little fun at her to make her smile and laugh. She’ll want to make up for the lost time the next time she’s free. Make sure you add an emoji or laugh so it’s clear that you’re only kidding around.
- “Don’t work too hard now 😉”
- “And the award for hardest worker goes to…YOU! Haha.”
- “You think you can just leave me hanging like this 😂”

6

Leave her alone while she’s busy.

Your crush will appreciate that you respect her time. When a girl specifically tells you she’s busy, she’s saying she won’t have the time to respond to your messages. You don’t want to disturb your crush and push her away, so try not to message or distract her. That way, she can have time for herself and focus.^{[1]
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7

Give her space to reach out.

Taking a break from texting can make her miss you more. If your crush thinks you’re always available to talk to her, then you might seem overeager. Rather than texting her again, let her reach out to you when she’s free. If she’s still interested, she’ll make a point to stay connected with you.

8

Ask her out again in a few days.

Waiting a couple of days gives her a chance to catch up with her schedule. If you try asking your crush out each day, it could sound a little pushy. If you’ve kept up your conversation and she acts like she’s interested, try asking if she wants to get together with you. Since she’s had a bit of space since the last time you ask, she may have more free time and want to spend time with you.^{[2]
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9

Send her one message at a time.

Texting her too much might push her away even more. Opening up a wall of text could make her feel a little overwhelmed because there’s so much to read. When you reach out, send her a single message and then patiently wait for her to reply. Put your phone away and keep yourself busy doing other tasks so you aren’t tempted to double-text her.

10

Distract yourself with other hobbies.

Staying busy takes your mind off your crush and lets you go on with life. Even if you’re waiting for her to reply or get back to you, you don’t have to wait by your phone for her next message. Make time for the things you love doing and develop your interests even more. Having hobbies has the added bonus of making you look more interesting and desirable, so she may reach out and ask to see you.^{[3]
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11

Move on if she keeps telling you she’s busy.

You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you. Some girls say they're busy if they don't want to go out but they don't want to hurt your feelings. If you’re always trying to plan a date and you can’t get it to line up with her schedule, it’s a sign that she’s not into you. It can feel like a bummer at first, but there are a ton of other girls out there that would be so excited to spend time with you. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask someone else out that you’ve had your eye on.^{[4]
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