How to Read Men's Body Language for Flirting

Co-authored by John Keegan

Last Updated: July 22, 2020 References

If you’re flirting with a guy and wondering if he’s interested in you, his body language might let you know before he does. Watch to see how he positions his body in relation to yours. Pay attention to his facial cues, such as eye contact, smiling, and eyebrow flashing. You can also get clues from what he does with his hands when you’re together. Keep in mind that while one behavior may not be a reliable indicator, putting it all together can help you to determine if he’s interested in you and might be receptive to a little flirtation.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Evaluating the Position of His Body

1
Check to see if he’s facing you. Whether he is facing towards you or away from you is a crucial sign of interest. If he’s interested in you, he’ll usually be facing in your direction. However, if he’s not interested, he’ll turn away or angle his body so that his back is to you.^{[1]
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- For example, if he’s standing, he’ll stand with his shoulders, chest, hips, and feet all pointing in your direction to show he’s interested in you. If he’s sitting, he’ll be facing you as well and he might even lean in towards you to show his interest. If he’s leaning back with his arms crossed, he may not be interested in you.
- If he’s facing towards you, make sure you’re facing him, too.
Tip: Also, pay attention to how he’s sitting if he’s seated. If he’s sitting with his legs spread wide, he may be subconsciously trying to show off his crotch.^{[2]
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2
Note the position of his hands. Can you see them? If so, this is a good sign that he might be interested in you. If you can’t see his hands because they’re in his pockets or hidden under crossed arms, he might not be interested in you.^{[3]
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- An even stronger sign is if you’re sitting across from the guy and he places his hands on the table. This may indicate that he’s trying to get closer to you. Try putting your hands on the table, too. He might take the hint and reach out for one or both of your hands if he’s interested in you.
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3
See if he’s fidgeting or acting nervous. This could indicate that he’s nervous, which may be due to his interest in you. See if he’s shifting in his seat, unsure of what to do with his hands, tapping his foot, or engaging in some other type of nervous gesture.^{[4]
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- He might also play with his bottle or glass if he has a drink in his hand. This can indicate that he’s nervous or he might be subconsciously thinking about touching you.^{[5]
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4
Look for a superman pose with his hands on his hips. If he’s super confident or just trying to appear that way, he might also adopt a power pose to show his interest. For example, he might stand with his feet shoulder-width apart and his hands on his hips.^{[6]
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- Placing his hands on his hips is a subtle gesture that is meant to direct your attention to his assets. He is likely unaware that this is what he’s doing, but your eyes may be naturally drawn to his hands and in the direction his fingers are pointing as well.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Decoding His Facial Cues

1
Look into his eyes and see if he returns your gaze.^{[7]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Eye contact is a classic flirtation move and a great indicator of romantic interest. Try locking eyes with him for 2 to 3 seconds and see if he holds your gaze or looks away. If he holds your gaze, then he may be interested in you. If he looks away, he might not be interested.^{[8]
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- Some people are too shy to maintain eye contact, so consider his other signals if he won’t maintain eye contact with you for more than a second.
Tip: If you maintain eye contact with him from across the room for 2 to 3 seconds, this may prompt him to walk over to you. If he doesn’t right away, but you keep catching him looking at you, try walking over to him and introducing yourself. He might just be too shy to approach you.
2
Check for a genuine smile.^{[9]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} You can tell the difference between a fake smile and genuine smile because a genuine smile lights up someone’s whole face. If he smiles and it seems to extend to his eyes, then it’s genuine and he may be interested in you. However, if he smiles and it seems forced, then he might not be interested.^{[10]
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- Try smiling at him when you make eye contact and see if he smiles back. If he does, this is a good sign. If he doesn’t smile or gives a half-smile, then he might not be interested.
- You could draw attention to his smile by saying something like, “You have such a great smile!”
3
See if he’s raising his eyebrows or flaring his nostrils. These are subtle flirtation signals that men often display when they first look at someone they’re interested in. Watch for him to quickly raise 1 or both eyebrows or to flare his nostrils. He might only do it for a second, but if he does it’s a good sign.^{[11]
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- If he smiles at you when he flashes his eyebrows, this is an even stronger sign of interest.
- Try flashing your eyebrows back at him and smiling to send the signal that you’re interested in him, too.
4
Pay attention to where he’s looking. He might subtly scan your body when he first meets you. If he continues to do this while you’re talking, this is a strong indication that he’s interested in you. He may even be intentionally checking you out to send that signal.^{[12]
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- For example, if you notice that his eyes travel from your face, down towards your hips while you’re talking, this is a good sign that he’s interested.
- If he’s being super obvious, you might even say something to call him out on it in a flirtatious way, such as “Enjoying the view?”
5
See if his lips open while he’s looking at you. He might part his lips slightly when he’s looking at you. This is an open gesture that indicates sexual attraction. If you notice him doing this, it’s a good sign.^{[13]
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- He might even subtly lick his lips while he’s looking at you. This is an even stronger signal that he’s interested in you.^{[14]
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- Try parting your lips slightly or subtly biting your lower lip as a return gesture.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Watching His Hands for Signs of Attraction

1
See if he fidgets with his tie, socks, or buttons. These little grooming behaviors are good indicators that he’s interested in you and he wants to look his best. He may tug at his socks, smooth out his lapels or tie, button and unbutton his jacket, or fidget with some other part of his attire. Take it as a good sign if he can’t seem to stop messing with his clothes.^{[15]
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- If you notice him doing this, now might be a good time to pay him a compliment about his outfit. Try saying something like, “I love the color of that tie. It really brings out the green in your eyes.”
Tip: You might find yourself fidgeting with different parts of your outfit as well. Don’t worry! This will send the signal to him that you’re also concerned about looking good for him.
2
Watch for him to stroke his hair, face, or facial hair. Along with frequently touching his clothing, he might also stroke his hair, mess it up, stroke his beard or moustache, or touch his face. He may not even be aware that he’s doing this, but it’s a good indication of his interest if he does.^{[16]
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- If you spot him doing these things, try paying him a compliment, such as by saying, “I love how you style your hair. It’s so sleek!” Or, “Your beard is so luxurious! May I touch it, please?”
3
Look for big hand gestures when he’s talking. Talking with hand gestures is often a sign of confidence, but it can also indicate interest in the person you’re talking with. If he’s making huge hand gestures, it’s sort of like he’s saying, “Look at me!” He may be doing this to ensure that you notice him.^{[17]
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- Try mirroring his hand gestures by using your hands when you talk as well, but only if you normally do this. Don’t try using hand gestures if it doesn’t come naturally to you.
4
Pay attention to any subtle touching.^{[18]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} If he touches you in subtle ways, these can be even strong clues that he might be interested. It’s unlikely that he’d touch you if he wasn’t interested, so pay special attention to any contact he makes with you. Some subtle ways he might touch you include:^{[19]
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- Standing close to you so that his body brushes against yours
- Touching the small of your back or your arm
- Brushing your hair out of your eyes
- Reaching out to hold your hand^{[20]
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Expert Q&A
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Question

How can I tell if a man is attracted to me?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

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Check if they're making eye contact with you and smiling, since those are sure signs he's interested in you. If you're talking to him, pay attention to if he lightly touches you after saying things.