What Does It Mean When a Guy Stares at You? (11 Reasons & How to Respond to Them)

Written by Joshua Pompey | Edited by Glenn Carreau

Last Updated: March 10, 2023

Does a cute guy keep looking at you, but you're not sure what he's trying to say? When it comes to dating and romance, reading body language is easier than you think! A guy who can't stop looking at you might very well be interested in you, although there are several different explanations for what he could be thinking. Read on for a complete guide to what it means when a guy stares at you and how you can respond.

This article is based on an interview with our relationship expert, Joshua Pompey. Check out the full interview here.

1

He likes something about you.

He might be admiring the design on your shirt or the color of your hair. Sometimes the reason behind a guy's staring isn't so deep—he just thinks you look super cool! Whether it's the hilarious story you're telling or the fact that you're doing a fun activity and he wants to learn more about it, a guy will stare because he finds you intriguing. He'll usually focus his eyes on the part of you doing (or wearing) something exciting.^{[1]
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- If he compliments you, say "thanks" and maintain a friendly, enthusiastic vibe. Don’t appear too excited though- this could scare him off. Being subtly grateful can pave the way to a fun interaction with him!
- As long as he's just showing polite interest, you can also just go about your business or stop whatever it is you're doing if you don't want an audience.

2

He's reminded of someone else.

Guys might stare and wonder how they know a familiar face. It happens to all of us; if someone looks familiar, it's tempting to keep looking back at them and think about where you know them from. If a guy is staring at you and seems a little confused, you might just look like someone else he knows.
- You don't have to react to staring if you don't want to. However, if you catch his eye while trying to study your features, he'll likely snap out of it and look away.

3

He wants to talk to you.

Establishing eye contact first can make it easier for him to approach. The objective is to show someone that you want to speak to them before the conversation begins, so he could be hoping that catching your eye will naturally lead to a chat or introduction.^{[2]
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Research source} If he seems like he's actively trying to catch your eye (rather than looking away when you see him), he likely wants to talk to you.
- Go ahead and say hi as long as you feel comfortable doing so. You could also wave at him and invite him over to say hello to you instead!

4

He’s curious about you.

Guys with a crush might wonder what you're like—and if you like him. If he's curious to know more about you, he'll generally stare intently at you to indicate his interest. He may also approach and strike up a conversation, asking you thoughtful, open-ended personal questions to get to know you. A truly interested guy also asks follow-up questions to continue the chat.
- Answer his questions and ask a few of your own to let the guy know you’re also interested. Be sure they're meaningful questions that require more of an answer than "yes" or "no," since that will help you get to know him easier.

5

He's listening to you.

In conversation, a guy who's fully engaged and listening likes you. After the guy starts chatting with you and asking thoughtful questions, he'll also look at you intently as you talk to him, maintaining eye contact for 4 to 5 seconds at a time—and holding it for well over 70% of the time you spend talking.^{[3]
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Research source} This is a sign that he's paying complete attention to you and actively listening to you speak.
- Another vital sign of active listening is making little encouraging sounds like "Mm-hm" and "Woah!" and “Oh my goodness!” but never interrupting or asking another question until you're done.
- Being an active listener is essential for any relationship. Listen to him, and show him that you're just as interested in the things he has to say. He'll quickly fall even harder for you!

6

He's trying to get your attention.

Men who are nervous or shy might want you to take the first step instead. Not every guy is perfectly confident; he could have low self-esteem or just be a naturally quiet person. In that case, he might stare at you as he tries to work out how he should come and talk to you—or stare in hopes of getting you to come to him. A nervous guy may also talk too fast, blurting out sentences he thinks are embarrassing.
- If he seems fidgety, quiet, or struggles to hold eye contact (all additional signs of nerves), take the initiative and go talk to this shy guy if you want to. Introduce yourself and ask him a couple of questions to break the ice.

7

He’s attracted to you.

He'll struggle to look away when he thinks you're gorgeous. Guys experiencing attraction often feel compelled to keep looking at you while in the same room. He could even be mentally preparing to approach you and introduce himself! If he's attracted to you, he'll also purposefully catch your eye and smile while maintaining eye contact with you.
- Attract a guy further by smiling back and meeting his gaze, making lots of eye contact. Give a welcoming nod to show you've noticed him.

8

He's interested in you romantically.

He might stare at you intensely if he's dreaming about scoring a date. Guys can get distracted thinking about the possibility of you going out with him—he could even be thinking about different ways to ask you out or the best time to do it. As you talk to him, other body language cues can tell you if the guy likes you: he'll lean in closer to you and initiate light, casual touches to your hand, elbow, or the small of your back.
- When he does ask you out, give him any answer you're comfortable with. You could say, "I'd love that!" or, if you're not interested, "I appreciate the thought, but I'm not looking to date right now."

9

He's in love with you.

In committed relationships, guys in love often stare at their partners. If you're already in a relationship with him, then long, loving gazes are a good sign—they mean he's utterly smitten and can't keep his eyes off you! He'll also focus on you, be extremely attentive to your needs in comparison to the other people around you, and try to be physically close, even when you're not touching.^{[4]
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- Show him that you feel the same way. Strong eye contact heightens desire and attraction and indicates mutual feelings.
- You could even give a happy smile or blow him a kiss if you're feeling playful. Let him stand close to you and initiate an affectionate touch like holding his hand or putting an arm around him.

10

He’s staring absentmindedly.

Everyone zones out sometimes, which leads to accidental staring. If he gets lost in thought, he might forget where he's looking—and end up unintentionally staring at you. He's not trying to unnerve you; his gaze is just fixed at a random point, and you happen to be there.
- You're always free to ignore the stare, but you can also catch his eye and give him a slight smile to test the waters and confirm whether he's lost in thought.
- Most guys caught staring accidentally just redirect their gaze when they realize they've been spotted. Try and catch his eye, or otherwise, just ignore him.

11

He’s asserting dominance.

Unfortunately, aggressive guys use staring as a type of power play. If he's looking at you intensely without smiling and even looks angry or stern, he could be trying to assert his dominance. In this case, his stare will feel like a challenge—in his mind, the weaker one won't be able to keep eye contact. He might also try to make himself bigger and take up more room, even invading your personal space in a show of power.^{[5]
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- It doesn't mean he's attracted to you (although that can be the case). Either way, guys who assert themselves like that can have intimidating and even hostile energy.
- Remember that you're not obligated to hang around. If nothing else, you can make a polite excuse and leave the room, or bring a friend with you if you know you'll be around a guy who tends to intentionally intimidate others.
- Don’t be afraid to stare back! Especially if you think he’s trying to intimidate you.