How to Make a Girl Feel Good

Co-authored by JT Tran

Last Updated: June 19, 2020 References

Whether it’s a new relationship or two years in, striving to make a girl feel good brings out the best in you, in her and, ultimately, what you have together. You usually get back what you put into something and by doing what you can to make her happy, she should recognize and appreciate it. If she doesn’t, it could mean there’s not a love connection, and that’s okay, not every relationship turns into love. But you will have made a lasting impression that, at the very least, you are someone who puts in the effort!

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Listening Well and Responding Appropriately

1
Make eye contact when listening. Don’t be too intense, though. That can look like you’re trying too hard. Also keep your face relaxed without too many animated expressions. If your face is going a mile a minute in everything she says, that can be distracting.
2
Ask her how particular situations make her feel. Girls usually have lots of feelings about things, and this gives her a chance to express them versus keeping them bottled up inside. If you sense that a situation was frustrating, difficult or upsetting, let her know. Even if she doesn’t say anything, she’ll notice and appreciate it.
- It’s okay to not understand every aspect of a situation but don’t say that her feelings are wrong because feelings can never be wrong. Be careful to not blame her either when she shares something with you. Strive to be empathetic, not judgmental or overly harsh.
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3
Give her your undivided attention, ignoring distractions. Turn your cell phone off. Don’t look around the room or at other people. Listening well is an art form, and many people are poor listeners. Go the extra mile here. It will pay dividends in making her feel good.
- Females secrete a feel-good hormone when expressing their feelings. By sharing things with you, she can’t help but also feel good about you. The more comfortable she is in talking to you, the safer she will feel, too, in opening up.
- Open up to her, as well. Talk about your dreams, your hopes, and the things you love to do, so she can get to know you better.^{[1]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  JT Tran
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.}
4
Let her know you are listening through your gestures. Along with eye contact, show active listening skills by nodding your head and saying things that confirm you hear her like “I would feel the same way myself” or “I can see why you would feel that way.”
- Don’t interrupt. Many people also find this difficult when listening to others. You will go far in making her feel good by waiting until she’s completely finished before commenting. This also goes both ways. When it’s your turn to talk, she’ll listen better to you, too.^{[2]
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5
Don’t offer solutions to her problems. This can be challenging because it’s natural to want to immediately try and solve matters. First and foremost, though, she needs to feel heard. Jumping in with what you think is best could make her feel that you don’t trust her in solving them. So let her express herself and ask what she thinks is best. This will boost her confidence in situations, and she’ll appreciate this quality in you, too.
- The more you understand where she is with an issue, the more she will trust that you can help her solve it. But wait until she asks before automatically giving your opinion. When you do give it, be thoughtful about it. Think what it’s like to be in her shoes before commenting.
6
Resist mocking, laughing or being sarcastic. Sometimes what people say or how they say it can be humorous to the person listening. Pay attention to her body language. If she’s serious, then trust that it’s a serious matter. If you’re condescending, she could think you don’t understand her at a deeper level, not just that situation.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Showing Her That You Think She’s Special

1
Make her feel good through small, protective gestures. A girl likes to know you are watching out for her. A fine balance is important here, though. You don’t want her to feel that you’re watching every move she makes. That’s too controlling. Just be natural with the small things that come up; she can’t help but notice and feel good!
- Offer your arm when crossing the street.
- Wait until she’s safely in her house before leaving.
- If you haven’t seen her for a few days, give her a call to see if she’s okay.
- If she’s sick, call and ask her if she wants you to come by with some magazines or a book.^{[3]
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2
Respond in a relaxed manner if she says something in an awkward way. Calmly, and not too seriously, laugh and say something like “It’s okay, whatever.” Try and make her feel comfortable no matter what she says. If she smiles, then that’s good. She will feel that, even during her goofy times, you fully accept her for who she is.
3
Offer to give her a foot massage or shoulder rub. With how much time people spend hunched over computers and smartphones these days, volunteering to reduce any pent-up tension can definitely make her feel good! Do it slow, though, with medium pressure. The tendency, if it’s not your occupation, is to go too fast with light pressure. But that can make her feel even more stressed. Whether it’s her foot or shoulder, knead the area in a relaxed, slow manner, and watch her melt like butter under your hands!
4
Reach for her hand when walking. Most girls are romantic at-heart and holding her hand as you stroll together in the world can make her feel special. It also lets her know that you’re comfortable showing others that you are together. Keep your clasp relaxed, though, not a death grip! If you’ve just started going out, only do it occasionally. If she grabs your hand, that’s a great sign.
- If you're not dating yet, try brushing your hand against hers to see if she's comfortable with being touched. If she pulls away, she may not be ready yet.^{[4]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  JT Tran
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.}
5
Compliment her on how she looks. Don’t automatically assume that she knows. Either way, she wants to hear it from you. She doesn’t have to be all dressed up for you to say it. Most girls make an effort to look pretty, even with a casual outfit, and letting her know that you think so, too, can go a long way in making her feel good.
6
Ask her if the indoor temperature is too warm or too cold. All of these small niceties convey to her that you care enough to ask. It also shows that you’re not just thinking of yourself. Be careful to not go overboard, though. Gauge your actions based on what’s seems logical for the situation.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Cooking Dinner for Her

1
Set up a romantic table just for the two of you. Put fresh flowers in a vase. Place candles in the center. Arrange the table in an attractive way. Even if you don’t do it perfectly, she will still be impressed with your efforts, especially if it’s not something that comes naturally to you.
- If you do something wrong, that’s okay. The important thing is that you tried. It will probably bring out the humor in her if you mess part of it up anyway. Many seasoned chefs, however, recommend not cooking a meal that you’ve never made before. So consider it whipping it for yourself once before inviting her over.
- Don’t worry about having the best of the best. Keeping it real is important, too. If you can’t afford crystal glasses at this point in your career, that’s fine. You want her to accept all aspects of you and your life. If she truly cares for you as a person, then she won’t mind one bit!
2
Make an easy, but tasty, pasta dish served with fresh bread and salad. If you’re not a natural in the kitchen, pasta is one of the easiest dishes to make. Plus, if you don’t know whether or not she’s vegetarian, then it’s a safe bet, too. Bread and salad are also good accompaniments because then you don’t have to worry about cooking side dishes at the same time as the pasta.^{[5]
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3
Do your prep work. If you wait to do everything until she arrives, you could be slaving away the whole time versus spending quality time with her. Basically do everything that you can in advance. For the pasta, it’s good to have everything ready except for actually dropping it in the boiling water. Prepare the salad in advance.
- Try and avoid having her feel as if she needs to take over for you in the kitchen!
4
Play dinner music in the background, like R & B, jazz or soft rock. When she arrives, asks if she likes it. If not, ask her to put something on that she likes better. Many girls feel that guys aren’t caring enough and/or have a caveman mentality. Pulling out all the stops conveys to her that you have overcome these odds to make her happy!
5
Prepare an easy, but delicious, chocolaty dessert with coffee or tea. Making anything chocolate can make a girl feel not only good but great! There’s truth behind this, too. Chocolate contains a compound called phenylethylamine, a natural feel-good chemical linked to the release of endorphins. Offering coffee or tea with it can give both of you an extra energy burst if you served wine with dinner.^{[6]
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