How Many Days Should I Wait to Text Him? Here's What Dating Experts Say

Written by John Keegan | Edited by Hunter Rising

Last Updated: May 21, 2022 References

Has the guy you liked stopped texting you, and you’re not sure how long to wait before texting him? Or maybe you just went on a date with a great guy and you’re not sure how long to wait before texting him afterward. Either way, waiting for a text from a guy you like isn’t fun. Luckily, you don’t have to wait on him forever. Keep reading to learn how long you should wait to text the guy you’re into, plus what to say when you finally text him.

This article is based on an interview with our dating coach, John Keegan. Check out the full interview here.

Section 1 of 3:

How long should you wait to text a guy who’s not responding or reaching out?

Give it a few days (or even a week). Just because a guy hasn’t reached out yet doesn’t mean he’s not interested – he still could be! It might feel tough waiting for him to text you, but your crush might truly be busy and unable to respond to your messages right away. Waiting 2–3 days or up to a week before reaching out gives him a chance to text you first once he realizes what he’s missing.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.}
- If you’ve waited more than a week and still haven’t heard back from him, it might be time to move on. It’s really hard when a guy flakes out on you, but there are other people out there for you! You deserve someone who appreciates you and your time.^{[2]
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  Expert Source
  
  Imad Jbara
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 22 September 2021.}
- If you just went out on a date with the guy, text him within the next day if you had a good time so he knows you’re still interested in him. You may have heard of waiting a few days for the “3-day rule,” but that makes it seem like you’re playing games with his feelings.^{[3]
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  Expert Source
  
  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.}

Section 2 of 3:

What should you say when you text him?

1
Send a simple question asking how he’s doing. You could start a brand new conversation or you can bring up something that you mentioned in your last text as a reminder.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.} If you really want to grab his attention, mention something he’s interested in to hook him back in. That way, you still sound light and bubbly without pushing him too hard.^{[5]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.}
- “Hey you 😊 how’s your day going so far? Mine’s just getting started but I can tell it’s going to be busy already haha.”
- “Hope you’ve had a good past couple of days! What have you been up to? I finished that book that I mentioned when we last talked and OMG it’s so good!”
- “Hi! You’ve been on my mind a lot lately 🥰 How are you?”
- If you’re texting after a first date, try, “Hey 🙂 last night was so much fun! Let’s get together again soon! ” or, “Hi again! I loved going out and getting to know you 😊 how are you doing today?”
2
Avoid getting upset at him. Rather than accusing the guy of ignoring you or leaving you on read, keep your messages lighthearted to nudge him back toward the conversation. Guys are more likely to respond if you talk about positive topics, so he might reach out again if you show him that you aren’t upset or worried about losing him.
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Act like you’re excited to talk to him. If you try to make a guy chase you, it might seem like you’re playing games with his feelings. Since he’s already become a little distant, doing the same thing to him will only make it feel like you’re further apart. Show him that you’re eager and want to have a good time with him by adding some emojis and exclamation points to your messages.^{[6]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.}
- “Hey you! 😊 I hope you’ve been having a good day! I can’t wait to see you again!”
- “Hey! How have you been? I’ve just been busy thinking about what to do for our next date 😉”
4
Send him just one message and wait for him to reply. Sending a wall of texts can make it seem like you’re being pushy and may overwhelm him. After you send one message, put your phone down and spend time doing something else to take your mind off your texts.^{[7]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.}
- If he still doesn’t respond to your message, then you deserve to move on and chat with someone that appreciates you.

Section 3 of 3:

How often should a guy text you if he likes you?

Guys will usually text a few times a week if they’re interested. When a guy wants to get to know you more, he’ll want to reach out a couple of times in between dates to get to know you better. He’s still living his own life and staying busy, so he might not be able to text you all the time, but he’ll still stay in touch so you know he hasn’t moved on yet.
- Most times, a guy will reach out first if he’s into you, but that shouldn’t stop you from texting him and starting the conversation if you want to talk.
- If he’s really into you, you can usually expect at least one text from him every day.^{[8]
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  Research source}