How to Increase Your Sex Appeal (12 Ways to Make Everyone Want You)

Learn the art of seduction so you can steal anyone's heart with your own brand of sexiness

Co-authored by Nicole Moore and Madeleine Flamiano

Last Updated: December 27, 2022 References Approved

What is sex appeal?

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Developing Sex Appeal

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Expert Q&A

Sex appeal is hard to pin down–it's that powerful special something that draws everyone to you. Here, we'll unravel all the mysteries of enchanting people with your approach and your appearance so anyone finds you super yummy. Since confidence and flirtatiousness are both universally sexy, we'll teach you how to wield both. Ready to work the room so all eyes are on you? Then read on–it's your time to shine!

Things You Should Know

Take pride in your appearance. Dress in your favorite outfits, groom yourself and put on a signature scent. Everyone who sees you will stop and stare.
Be bold and make the first move. When you walk up to a cute stranger and start with a friendly opener, they'll be attracted to your effortless confidence.
Use open and inviting body language. Lock eyes with your crush, smile, and lean in to listen intently to what they're saying. They'll adore your warm presence.
Master the art of conversation. Find common ground, discuss goals, flirt, and be a little mysterious. When someone thinks there's more to learn, they'll be hooked.

Section 1 of 2:

What is sex appeal?

Sex appeal is really just the way you act to charm people right away. If you want to how to have sex appeal, it has nothing to do with the way you look but with how you rock what you've already got. Anyone of any shape or size can have sex appeal. As long as you present yourself well and show off your sparkling personality, you ooze sex appeal.^{[1]
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- Examples of Sex Appeal:
  - Friendly expressions: Smiling, laughing, or gazing deeply at someone.
  - Building rapport: Talking about what you share in common with people.
  - Physical presentation: Dressing in a way to show off your physique.
  - Grooming: Boosting your attractiveness with personal care, like a haircut.

Section 2 of 2:

Developing Sex Appeal

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Wear what makes you feel good. Make it a priority to feel sexy every day. Whether you’re going for a night on the town, hanging out with your SO, or going to class, it’s key to be confident and comfortable.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Nicole Moore
Love & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.} For you, that might mean rocking designer clothes and new shoes or slipping into a fresh T-shirt and great fitting jeans. Whatever you wear, as long as you feel sexy, you’ll be sexy.^{[3]
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- To look stylish every day, invest in a wardrobe you love. Focus on classic pieces, like sweaters and slacks, and go for colors you think “work” the best for you.
- Consider creating a capsule wardrobe, a small collection of pieces that all go together no matter how you mix and match them. That way, you can throw on a killer outfit even if you’re in a rush.
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Take care of your body. Spend a little time each day grooming yourself and giving your body the care and attention it deserves.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Nicole Moore
Love & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.} Keep your hair healthy, practice good hygiene, eat well, and exercise. When you’re 100% sure you’ve done everything to look your best, it’ll be easy to show yourself off.^{[5]
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- Ultimately, all body types have sex appeal, and as long as you take pride in your appearance, you’ll have tons of fans.
- Find a signature scent, like a sweet perfume or a spicy cologne, to boost your sexiness. People will be spellbound when they smell you.
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Use open body language. Work on your posture, move your shoulders back, and keep your head up high. All these subtle moves tell everyone you’re open to talk. Whether you’re standing or sitting, keep your spine straight but stay relaxed. You never know who you’ll attract with your effortless confidence—they could be that cute stranger on the train or at the grocery store.^{[6]
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- Closed body language includes slouching, crossing your arms, or looking intently at your phone. These behaviors are all cues that you’re not in the mood to talk, so avoid them if you’d like to boost your chances of being approached.
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Make eye contact. To flirt with eye contact, look at someone right in the eyes.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Nicole Moore
Love & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.} Holding someone's gaze is a great way to be a master at flirting and develop instant sex appeal. Not only does it communicate confidence, but you’ll also be able to create a little intimacy with someone right away. They might feel really “seen” and want to soak up all your attention.^{[8]
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- If you want to play hard to get, hold your gaze for 3 seconds—it gives off a more friendly vibe.
- If you’d like to heat things up, look at someone for 5 seconds—it’ll signal you’re into them.
- If you want to get even spicier, give a little smile or smirk and make them wonder.
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Smile often. When it comes to seduction tactics, there might be nothing more simple but less obvious than the power of a smile.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Nicole Moore
Love & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.} Seriously—what’s sexier than a warm, genuine smile? To radiate attractiveness, keep an amused half-smile on your face, especially when you’re talking or flirting. Everyone will get the vibe that you’re always in a good mood and happy to see them.^{[10]
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- When you smile, someone else is more likely to smile back and feel a rush of excitement.
- A smile also draws attention to your lips, so your crush might start to fantasize about kissing you.
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Speak with confidence. Whenever you can, be assertive and take-charge. For example, if you’re at a coffee shop, tell the barista your order without hesitation. When you’re out with friends, say which night club you want to hit up. If you’re at a party, tell people your opinions without holding back. When you trust your own judgment and carry yourself with pride, people will be drawn to you and your special energy.^{[11]
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- You might become an alpha male or be the alpha female in people’s eyes when they watch how bold you are.
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Be a little bold. Stand out to everyone by proving you’re not afraid to make the first move. Walk right up to that cute stranger, introduce yourself, and say you’re interested in getting to know them. The slick trick to flirting like a pro? It’s simple— have faith in yourself and work up your courage. It’s a rare quality to show initiative, and tons of people will find it irresistible.^{[12]
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- If you’re a little nervous, practice positive reframing. For example, swap “I don’t know what to say,” for “I can learn so much about them!”
- Be the first one to approach people. When people watch as you work the crowd, you’ll impress the whole room.
- Compliment whoever catches your eye. Give some fun and unfiltered flattery like, “You are really passionate when you go off about film theory. I had to get to know you better.”
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Build a ton of rapport. Whenever you approach someone you’re into, break the ice ASAP so they really warm up to you. Your actual opener doesn’t matter—just focus on how you deliver it. Use inviting body language, straight posture, and a friendly tone. Once you’ve dazzled them with how outgoing you are, they’ll want to stick around to talk.^{[13]
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- Intros and questions are totally fair game and super effective. Kick things off with an opener like, “Hey, I’m Jamie. Do you know everyone here?”
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Remain a mystery. Instead of finding every opportunity to be around your crush, remember—lots of people like what they can’t “have” right away, and lack of supply increases demand. If you want someone to remember you, leave them wanting more. After you’ve had a fun little convo, ask to exchange numbers or social media handles. Tease them by saying you should get together “sometime,” then head out. When you leave the room, you’ll stay on their mind.^{[14]
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- Be quick and efficient— “Well, I have to get going. It was nice meeting you. How can I stay in touch with you?”
- If they give their contact info, wait 1-2 days. Use the element of surprise and send them a casual text like, “Hey, stranger. You popped up on my mind. What do you think about dinner?”
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Be fun to be around. Everyone enjoys a good time and loves a killer sense of humor. Have an adventure with your crush by hitting up a comedy show or going on a random trip to the beach. Be funny in your own unique way, whether that’s dazzling them with top-shelf memes or making them smirk with your super dry humor. When you supply your favorite hottie with tons of smiles and laughs, they’ll get addicted to you.^{[15]
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- The best recipe for making the honeymoon last forever so your crush is always hooked is to mix spontaneity with silliness. For example, after bringing them to a beautiful art exhibit, whisk them away to try out axe throwing. They’ll never know what to expect with you.
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Show that you’re complex. Have a variety of interests, passions, and personality traits. Let your crush know that dating you will be a fun adventure. To pique their interest, talk about your hobbies and ambitions. Also set aside time to improve yourself and chase after what you want. When you live a rich, fulfilling life, they’ll be stunned with how multidimensional you are.^{[16]
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- Hobbies, like tennis or kickboxing, give you time to decompress. That way, you’ll always be relaxed around that person you like. You’ll also have a lot to chat about. For example, say, “I feel like I’m ready to pick up Muay Thai after all my training!”
- Feel like all you have to talk about is work? That’s easy to fix. Take up a sport, practice an art like painting, or start working on projects like repairing old cars. Commit to learning what’s always interested you—you’ll feel better, which will translate to being more sexy and attractive
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Keep a full calendar. It’s totally fun to tease someone and work them up, but sometimes you just need a break. Skip spending all your time boosting your sex appeal or focusing on what your crush thinks. Instead, keep your life interesting and full of events. Socialize, make time for your hobbies, and try new experiences. You’ll fall in love with who you are and all that confidence will make you shine like a star. Before you know it, people will be begging to hang out.^{[17]
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- If you lead a pretty quiet life, it's still ok to give the impression that your life is busy. If someone asks you out, plan it for a time that works best for you. Keep them wanting. Making a person wait a few days for a date builds anticipation, which can be very sexy.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I be more sexually confident?

Nicole Moore
Love & Relationship Coach
Nicole Moore is a Love and Relationship Coach and the Founder and CEO of Love Works Method, a private coaching and digital course service for women looking to find the right partner. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in body language and helping others take control of their dating life, attract a partner, and build a strong relationship. Nicole has been featured in numerous publications such as Cosmopolitan, Forbes, and USA Today. She also hosts Love Works with Nicole Moore, a podcast for modern women wanting love, dating, and relationship advice. Nicole holds a BA in Public Relations and Spanish from Syracuse University and a Certificate in Personal Coaching from New York University.

Nicole Moore

Love & Relationship Coach

Expert Answer

Take out a pen and paper and write down a list of 30 reasons why you're a catch. Don't censor yourself—just write. If you have a hard time coming up with reasons, ask your close friends why they think you're a catch. The more you focus on what's great about you and what you have to offer, the more confident you'll feel.
Question

How can a woman be confident sexually?

Nicole Moore
Love & Relationship Coach
Nicole Moore is a Love and Relationship Coach and the Founder and CEO of Love Works Method, a private coaching and digital course service for women looking to find the right partner. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in body language and helping others take control of their dating life, attract a partner, and build a strong relationship. Nicole has been featured in numerous publications such as Cosmopolitan, Forbes, and USA Today. She also hosts Love Works with Nicole Moore, a podcast for modern women wanting love, dating, and relationship advice. Nicole holds a BA in Public Relations and Spanish from Syracuse University and a Certificate in Personal Coaching from New York University.

Nicole Moore

Love & Relationship Coach

Expert Answer

Clean out your wardrobe! Go through your closet and get rid of any clothes that make you feel frumpy or not great. Then, pick out 3-5 outfits that you know you look and feel great in. Having a set of go-to wardrobe items takes the pressure off and helps you relax, which also boosts sex appeal because you're not going to feel insecure about the way you look.
Question

What is sex appeal?

HumanBeing

Top Answerer

If someone sees you and feels sexual desire toward you, to that person you have sex appeal. Sex appeal is not the same for everyone; that's why people have sexual preferences for different types of people. There are some stereotypical ideas about sex appeal; for example, the blonde bombshell female and the talk, dark male - these looks do not have universal sex appeal.