How to Be Hot (Guys)

Co-authored by Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT and Christopher M. Osborne, PhD

Last Updated: March 12, 2023 References

It takes more than good looks to be a hot guy. In fact, being hot is more about confidence than anything else. Take pride in how you look, but make your style your own. Exude confident but welcoming body language. When you’re trying to make a connection, never be afraid to take your chances. And always remember—hotness is a state of mind!

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Working on Your Appearance

1
Wear clean, well-fitting clothes that suit your style. There’s no single outfit that signals hotness. Instead, wear clothes that make you feel comfortable, confident, and attractive. Make sure that the clothes are clean and fit your body well, since attention to details like these helps to exude hotness.^{[1]
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- Context matters, of course. You might look hot in your workout gear at the gym, but not so hot if you wear it to the club. Dress for the occasion, but always wear something that fits your style and makes you feel good.
- Make sure you have a stylish, well-fitting suit in your wardrobe—a guy can never go wrong with a classic look!
2
Keep your hair, nails, skin, and body well-groomed. Choose a haircut that fits your look and style, and keep your hair clean and well-kept. Trim your nails regularly, and keep up a regular manscaping routine that suits your style. Shave, trim, or manage your facial hair so it shows that you care about your look.^{[2]
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- Even if you prefer a more rugged or unkempt look, no one finds hair growing out of your ears, dirt under your fingernails, or crumbs in your beard hot!
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3
Maintain good personal hygiene so you look and smell clean. Avoid dousing yourself in cologne like your dad probably does, but do take the time to shower daily, wear a quality deodorant, and freshen up your breath with good dental care. No matter how fit or fashionable you are, you won’t be hot if your body or breath smells bad.^{[3]
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- If you do use cologne, remember that a couple of sprays is all you need.
4
Exercise regularly to tone your body. You don't have to have the look of a hardcore bodybuilder, but it helps to be in shape if you want to be hot. Mix cardio with strength training to sculpt a body that gives you self-confidence. This, in turn, will make others find you more attractive.^{[4]
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- Hot guys come in every body type. Showing that you care about improving your health, fitness, and appearance is what makes you attractive to others.
- Talk to your doctor before beginning an exercise program, especially if you have existing medical conditions or live a sedentary lifestyle.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Using the Right Body Language

1
Work on your eye contact and facial expressions. Your goal is to look confident but not intense, calm but not bored, and friendly but not desperate. This may sound like a tall task, but you can convey a lot with just your mouth and eyes!^{[5]
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- Look softly (not intensely) into other people’s eyes for 10-15 second increments, then look away briefly before restoring your gaze.
- Smile with a closed mouth, and don't smile too widely. Also, let one corner of your mouth go slightly higher than the other.^{[6]
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- Practice your eye contact and smile in the mirror before trying them out on others.
2
Stand up straight with your shoulders back. A man who stands upright looks confident, while a slouch shows that he is insecure and uncomfortable. Developing good posture will give the impression that you think you're attractive, which will in turn influence other people to think the same.^{[7]
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- There are a range of exercises you can do to improve your posture, and you can also use medical tape or posture-improving garments to help retrain your muscles.
3
Walk with confidence and a little bit of swagger. Stand up straight, use long, brisk strides, and keep your arms loosely at your sides. You don’t necessarily have to walk into a room like you own it, but at least make it clear that you belong there.
- Keep your head up, eyes forward, hands out of your pockets, and feet a little less than shoulder width apart.
4
Develop a confident but appealing speaking voice. In many cases, this means doing breathing and speaking exercises to deepen your voice a little. Don’t try to adopt a ridiculously deep voice (which will sound obviously fake), though—just focus on speaking clearly and confidently.^{[8]
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- Don’t let your attempt at speaking confidently come off as being too intense or overbearing. Use your eyes, facial expressions, and vocabulary to exude friendliness.
- For instance, saying, "I really like the color of your eyes" in a slightly deepened voice, while also using the eye contact and tight smile you've been practicing, may prove very effective.
5
Manage your emotions without burying them. Self-control is an attractive quality, but don’t act like you’re a heartless robot. Stay calm and confident no matter what the situation brings, yet always be willing to show compassion and concern.^{[9]
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- You might think that hot guys tend to have a “too cool to care” attitude, but you’ve got to be able to show interest in and care for those around you if you want them to find you attractive.
- For example, instead of getting angry if a stranger spills a drink on your new shirt while you're talking to someone you like, accept the stranger's apology and laugh off the incident.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Connecting with Others

1
Be polite and respectful. Being hot doesn’t mean treating others like you know you’re better than them. Instead, show them that you respect them as individuals. Display common courtesies like holding open a door and saying “thank you”—believe it or not, politeness can be hot!^{[10]
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2
Focus the conversation on the other person. If you spend all your time talking about yourself, you’ll leave the impression that you only care about yourself. While you should feel free to share information about yourself so the other person can get to know you, steer the conversation towards the other person so they feel special.^{[11]
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- Practice your active listening skills so it’s clear you’re paying close attention. Confirm what they’ve just said and ask follow-up questions to keep them at the center of the conversation.
- If they seem eager to keep the conversation focused on you, don’t try too hard to turn it back on them. Take your time building up a comfort level so they feel more comfortable opening up.
3
Improve your mind and your awareness of important issues. Check up on the latest world news. Read a book or a newspaper every day. Take some time to develop your opinions on key topics. The more intelligent and well-informed you are, the more likely you are to impress others.^{[12]
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- It takes more than looking good to be hot. If you can’t sustain an intelligent conversation for more than a few seconds, your hotness factor will drop quickly!
- Never act like you know all the answers. Be open to listening to and considering others’ opinions.
4
Be willing to take a chance when you sense a connection. If you recognize signals of attraction, act confidently and decisively (without being aggressive or arrogant). Don’t be afraid to ask, “Hey, would you like to go out to dinner?” or, “Can I call you sometime?”^{[13]
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- Sometimes you’ll read the signals wrong and get rejected. Stay calm, be polite, brush it off, and be just as confident the next time you try with someone else.
- Fear of failure is not an attractive quality. Hot guys learn from their failures and keep trying!

Expert Q&A
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Question

How do you know that someone is attracted to you?

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Licensed Relationship Therapist

Expert Answer

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If someone gives you too much attention when there are other people around, asks you many questions about your personal life, or compliments you a lot, it shows that they are attracted to you.
Question

How can I use my eyes in a flirtatious way?

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Licensed Relationship Therapist

Expert Answer

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Nowadays, you have to cover your face with a mask, so eyes are a great way to communicate. You can intentionally lock your eyes with someone, hold it for some time, and then look back. It will send a message that you are interested in that person. You can also flirt using your eyebrows to make expressions and wink.
Question

How can I get a handsome face?

wikiHow Staff Editor
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It is important to take care of your skin, as a regular skin care routine will help you to have and keep a healthy glow. You might like to check out the wikiHow: How to Care for Your Face (Males) for help with good face care practices. You might also benefit from deciding whether or not a beard, mustache, sideburns, etc., might enhance your facial appearance, or whether you look better without facial hair. Tidying your eyebrows can be worth it too, unless you’re going for a rugged look. And some men also find that wearing concealer or makeup can be helpful for enhancing or concealing facial features. Try some or all of these suggestions to see what works best for you.

Warnings

Be careful not to earn a reputation as a player. Potential romantic interests will avoid you if they think that you can't be trusted.

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