How to Get a Girl to Like You (LGBT)

Co-authored by Deb Schneider, LCSW, PPSC

Last Updated: February 15, 2023 Approved

If you're bisexual or a lesbian and you have a crush on a girl, here are some tips. Before starting on this, the term "bisexual" can mean different things for different people. Some bisexuals define it as liking both men and women, and some define it as liking both binary and nonbinary genders. Make sure you know what their label means to them so you don't offend them.

Steps

1
Find an attractive girl at school/work.
- If you're straight (heterosexual), don't force yourself to like the same gender! You can try, but it won't work because you can't choose who you're attracted to. If you've already found a girl you like, skip this step. To find a bisexual girl, visit your local LGBT community centre.
2
Get to know her.
- Unless she's your best friend, but if you've just met this girl get to know her better and try to become her best friend.
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3
Flirt. Flirt a bit, but don't make her think you like her. Smile a bit, giggle calmly and cute and make her laugh, maybe if you befriend her enough you can go somewhere! Also: Make sure she is comfortable with any approaches you make. If she seems unsure, then stop.
4
Ask if she's into girls.
- If you really got to know her, ask if she's bi or lesbian. Don't do this if you think she doesn't trust you enough, be patient, she would open up if she trust you, once you earned her trust ask her this question. How you gain her trust is tell her a secret, not your biggest one but one you feel comfortable telling her. Don't make it seem like a big deal, just nonchalantly ask her.
5
Ask her on a date.
- That's part of liking each other, dating! If you feel like she's your bestie now, ask her out casually like "lets go to coffee shop" or take her to a basketball game! Find out her interests first, then take her somewhere that fits her hobbies!
6
Get her phone number. You should be able to call or text her to get her to be your friend more.
7
Find her on social media.
- Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, etc. Ask her to add/follow you on a social site, you can know her better this way.
8
If she's a really great friend, confess your feelings for her! Don't be scared. If she doesn't like you, then that's okay! There's plenty of fish in the sea!

Community Q&A

Question

My bisexual friend has recently been holding my hand a lot, as well as hugging and cuddling me. Are these signs that she might like me?

Community Answer

It depends on the type of person. Usually these are signs, but she could also have the touchy-feely sort of personality. Try and see how she behaves around other people. You could also try getting more flirty with her and see how she reacts.
Question

I think I'm bisexual but I'm kind unsure. I've had a crush on a certain girl, but it went away after a month. What does this mean?

Community Answer

You may well be bisexual. Crushes can fade, whoever they're on. If you're unsure, that's fine too. You'll see who else you get attracted to over time and figure it out.
Question

I used to date a girl and she broke up with me because she didn't like over-summer relationships. How do I get her back?

Community Answer

Tell her that it wasn't just a summer relationship to you, and you would like to pick back up on the relationship or at least have her in your life as a friend.

Warnings

Romantic orientation can differ from sexual orientation. Note that it is possible to only be able to fall in love with men and only be sexually attracted to women. Make sure you know their romantic orientation if you plan on having a long term relationship with this person.

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If she's not part of LGBT+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) community then don't impress her, chances are she's not into women. Don't force yourself to like a girl if you feel she's not right for you, don't hang around with her.

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