How to Tell if Another Woman is Bisexual

Co-authored by Marissa Floro, PhD

Last Updated: February 15, 2023 References Approved

Watching her Behavior

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Communicating with the Woman

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Studying Her Body Language

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Expert Q&A

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Tips

There are ways to figure out whether another woman might be bisexual. Be very aware that there is no surefire way to determine this, short of asking her. Jumping to conclusions about a person can be risky. That being said, with some sincerity and confidence, you'll be able to better determine whether another woman might be bisexual.

Things You Should Know

Notice if she seems attracted in some way to other women or goes out of her way to be around them.
Ask her casually about her past dating experience or celebrity crushes to find out if she has had any feelings for women before.
Look at whether her body language becomes more open or expressive around other women, or if she makes prolonged eye contact with them.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Watching her Behavior

1
Notice whether she shows open attraction towards women. If the woman seems to generally appreciate women, including their sex appeal, there is a chance she is bisexual. Does she always notice other people's looks and comment on them in a sexualized way?^{[1]
X
Expert Source

Marissa Floro, PhD
Counseling Psychologist
Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.} Just keep in mind that there are different types of attraction, including:
- Romantic attraction: Wanting to be romantic with someone
- Sexual attraction: Wanting to be sexual with someone
- Platonic attraction: Wanting to be friends with someone
- Sensual attraction: Wanting to cuddle and hug someone
- Aesthetic attraction: Liking how someone physically looks^{[2]
  X
  Research source}
2
Recognize that it’s possible she’s attracted to women but doesn’t realize she’s bisexual. Women can be attracted to other women without formally identifying as queer—this is not an uncommon phenomenon.
- Go with your intuition. Sometimes you just get a vibe. You generally know when someone seems attracted to you or someone else, right? Sometimes intuition can mean more than words. Some studies have found that up to 60 percent of women are attracted to other women, so it's not that rare. Whether they will act on it might be another story.^{[3]
  X
  Research source}
- Society encourages women to develop emotional closeness to one another. For some, this can spill over into attraction. Realize that sexuality can be very fluid. Studies have found that women define their sexuality more ambiguously as they age.
- The tricky part is that many platonic female relationships mirror romantic relationships because they are built on sharing intimate details and talking about personal issues for hours on end.
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3
Pay close attention to how she acts and what she says. Take a closer look at the folks who like the types of people and spaces that she talks about a lot—that could potentially highlight aspects of her sexuality. Additionally, pay particular attention to the pronouns she uses when describing her previous partners.^{[4]
X
Expert Source

Marissa Floro, PhD
Counseling Psychologist
Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.}
- Listen when she talks about her hobbies and see what mentions. For example, does she attend an all-women’s book club, or does she show up at other women’s soccer games?
4
Figure out her relationship status. Although some women in relationships with men discover their bisexuality, a woman without a male significant other in her life could also be bisexual. if she seems to have no man in her life, that’s also a sign she could be bisexual. Lacking a male partner isn’t definitive proof that she identifies as queer, though—she might just not be dating.^{[5]
X
Expert Source

Marissa Floro, PhD
Counseling Psychologist
Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.}
- Asking about her celebrity crushes can be a helpful starting point in figuring out her preferences, as well as asking about her past romantic relationships.^{[6]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Marissa Floro, PhD
  Counseling Psychologist
  Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.}
- Take a closer look at what she posts on social media. Does she talk about queer issues a lot? Does she repost content from queer celebrities? Does she attend Pride? ^{[7]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Marissa Floro, PhD
  Counseling Psychologist
  Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.}

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Communicating with the Woman

1
Ask her how she identifies if the situation allows for it. If you feel comfortable, feel free to ask something like “How do you identify?” If you identify as queer yourself, sharing and disclosing that information yourself (if you feel comfortable doing so) can be really helpful.^{[8]
X
Expert Source

Marissa Floro, PhD
Counseling Psychologist
Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.}
- If you identify as queer but don’t feel comfortable disclosing that directly, try mentioning it indirectly. You could say something like “My ex-girlfriend and I broke up because…”^{[9]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Marissa Floro, PhD
  Counseling Psychologist
  Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.}
- Always try to read the conversation and situation before asking someone about their sexuality. In some cases, it might be inappropriate or unsafe.^{[10]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Marissa Floro, PhD
  Counseling Psychologist
  Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.}
2
Figure out if she’s had past experiences with women if it’s unsafe to ask her directly. Women being intimate with other women has become more common in popular culture over recent years. If the woman is open about a past experience with a woman, there is a chance she might be open to it again.
- Follow the social cues of the conversation and make sure it’s appropriate to dive into this type of topic.^{[11]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Marissa Floro, PhD
  Counseling Psychologist
  Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.}
3
Tease out her feelings. Start generically. Ask which celebrity she has a crush on, and see if she names a woman. Or ask directly which female celebrity she finds the most attractive, and why, and see how she responds.^{[12]
X
Expert Source

Marissa Floro, PhD
Counseling Psychologist
Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.}
- If it makes sense in the context of the situation, bring up issues in the news like same-sex marriage to see how she reacts. Such issues can be contentious, but broaching them can give you clues about her sexuality.
4
Know the difference between bisexuality and being sexually open. People can be open and interested in certain sexual experiences without identifying in a particular way.^{[13]
X
Expert Source

Marissa Floro, PhD
Counseling Psychologist
Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.}

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Studying Her Body Language

1
Assess her mood and body language signals. Recognize that men are often more overt about expressing their interest in someone romantically. Women often hint.
- What’s her mood like when she sees you? If she becomes giddy, extra happy to see you, and full of smiles, that’s a good sign. Does she ever show jealousy? If she shows jealousy, such as when you spend time with another friend, that could be a sign she’s interested.
- Is she trying to get you alone or does she only hang out with you when other friends are along? If she’s always trying to get you alone, it might mean she wants to hook up with you.
- Does she have open body language (body facing toward the woman, palms up, feet pointing toward the woman) or closed (arms crossed over her chest, palms down, body facing away, etc.)
2
Watch what she does with her eyes. If you catch her making eye contact with you (you’re a woman interested in her) or if you catch her making eye contact with another woman (if you’re a guy or a female friend of hers), she may be bisexual.
- Persistent eye contact can be a way of creating intimate connection and to flirt. Also, you should pay attention to the amount of personal space she leaves between herself and other women. Is she trying to create a zone of intimacy?^{[14]
  X
  Research source}
- Looking someone in the eyes and then glancing away is a sign of flirtation in many cases. People don’t usually lock eyes with people they only consider friends.^{[15]
  X
  Research source}
3
Listen for tone and inflection in your conversations. People who’ve been socially female are taught to lift up their tone at the end of a sentence, especially when talking to friends. However, people also like to train their voice to do this when they’re flirting with other women.^{[16]
X
Expert Source

Marissa Floro, PhD
Counseling Psychologist
Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.}

Expert Q&A

Question

Can I assume that someone with a rainbow pride pin is bisexual?

Marissa Floro, PhD
Counseling Psychologist
Dr. Marissa Floro, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and Instructor at Stanford University’s Weiland Health Initiative and adjunct faculty at the University of San Francisco. Dr. Floro received her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Loyola University Chicago, focusing on the intersections of race, attraction, and gender. Dr. Floro’s continued clinical, teaching, and advocacy work focuses on sexual and gender diversity, racial identity and belonging, and liberation from oppressive systems and structures.

Marissa Floro, PhD

Counseling Psychologist

Expert Answer

They may not necessarily be bisexual, but it's probably reasonable to assume that they may be LGBTQ+. They could just be a cisgender and heterosexual ally, but it's not a crazy assumption to make.
Question

Why are some women not more open about being bisexual?

Marissa Floro, PhD
Counseling Psychologist
Dr. Marissa Floro, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and Instructor at Stanford University’s Weiland Health Initiative and adjunct faculty at the University of San Francisco. Dr. Floro received her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Loyola University Chicago, focusing on the intersections of race, attraction, and gender. Dr. Floro’s continued clinical, teaching, and advocacy work focuses on sexual and gender diversity, racial identity and belonging, and liberation from oppressive systems and structures.

Marissa Floro, PhD

Counseling Psychologist

Expert Answer

There is a lot of cruelty and bigotry out there towards people who are LGBTQ+. As a result, the people in these communities often play things close to the chest so to speak, since it's a way of protecting yourself from the intolerant people in the world.
Question

It's really hard to figure out if I'm talking to another bi person. How can I get better at this?

Marissa Floro, PhD
Counseling Psychologist
Dr. Marissa Floro, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and Instructor at Stanford University’s Weiland Health Initiative and adjunct faculty at the University of San Francisco. Dr. Floro received her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Loyola University Chicago, focusing on the intersections of race, attraction, and gender. Dr. Floro’s continued clinical, teaching, and advocacy work focuses on sexual and gender diversity, racial identity and belonging, and liberation from oppressive systems and structures.

Marissa Floro, PhD

Counseling Psychologist

Expert Answer

Your intuition is going to improve with this over time. It can be hard at first, but as you keep meeting more and more people, you'll naturally start getting better at picking up on the hints people drop.