How to Be Older Than Your Age

Co-authored by Tami Claytor

Last Updated: February 6, 2023 References

Though looking young can certainly be a blessing in some circumstances, it can also be frustrating for you if you want to be taken more seriously. Whether you are still in school or are a professional in the workforce, you want to be seen as mature so you can be respected. Through further developing in maturity, dressing the part, and gaining wisdom, you can be perceived as being older than you are or older than you look.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Being Mature

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Be more considerate of others. The first step in being seen as older is to give up selfish habits in place of more empathetic ones. Try to think of things from other people’s perspectives before reacting or responding. Consider how your decision may impact the people around you, either now or in the future. You will appear much more mature and very wise for your age.
- For instance, instead of asking your mom to do something for you right after she has gotten off of work, try to do it for yourself if possible. She already likely has many things to do so don’t add something else.
2
Maintain a calm demeanor. Put away juvenile behaviors and trade them for adult-like ones. Whining, sulking, and throwing tantrums are great ways to be considered as a child but are not so great if you want to be respected and taken seriously. No matter how upset you may be with a friend, family member or coworker, never resort to behaving like a child. Opt instead to remain calm and to have a reasonable and levelheaded discussion.^{[1]
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- Pay attention to how people around you deal with stressful situations or with being challenged. This may help to give you some ideas for how you can respond as well.
- If you feel yourself becoming angry or mad, walk away from the situation for a few moments.
- Practice breathing deeply to calm yourself down in stressful situations.
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3
Be responsible and take on more responsibility. Another integral step in gaining maturity is achieved through taking care of your responsibilities and accepting more as you can. Be sure to handle your business daily, including doing your homework, doing your chores, or completing all of your tasks as work in a timely fashion. As you become more accustomed to these tasks, your time may free up a bit, so don’t shy away from doing more. You will be respected for taking initiative.^{[2]
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- For instance, offer to babysit your siblings for your parents. Taking care of people younger than you will help you think and become more mature and that will show in your demeanor.
- Offer to do more around the house.
- Volunteer if your teacher should ask for help or assistance.
- If your supervisor or parent mentions something that needs to get done, take note of it to remind yourself and take care of it without being asked.
4
Develop social graces. Remember to be polite in any space that you are in. Don't talk too loudly, be considerate, talk more about other people than yourself, and know when to let silence do the talking. Practice good table manners when eating as well, such as not putting your elbows on the table and not slurping your food.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach
Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.}
- Get into the habit of pausing for three seconds after someone finishes talking and then respond. Avoid interrupting or talking over people.
- Make sure that you always greet people when you enter into a room. Not doing so can be interpreted as rude and immature.^{[4]
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  Tami Claytor
  Etiquette Coach
  Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.}
- Give respect to elders. Refer to them by using “Ms.” or “Mr.” in front of their name.
- Don’t burp out loud. Excuse yourself to the restroom.
- Don’t talk about bodily functions in front of others.
5
Be confident. Nothing communicates maturity like confidence. Even if your physical appearance, unique personality, or social skills aren't what you wish they were, you are still a unique and interesting person. Remember that and hold your head high when you walk into a room.^{[5]
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Research source}Even if you don’t feel confident yet, faking confidence until it feels real is a great strategy.
- Make a list of your strengths and your accomplishments.
- Look people in the eye when you speak to them.
- Give a firm handshake.
6
Avoid arguments. There is a proverb that goes something like “don’t argue with fools; from a distance you can’t tell who’s who.” As much as it is possible with you, try to live at peace with everyone. If you feel an argument brewing with someone, work to keep the situation calm and respectful or remove yourself from the conversation until things settle.
- Don’t get involved in an argument that you don’t want to be involved in. You can always just say, "I don't wish to discuss this."
- You might say something like “hey, let’s talk about something else, okay?”
- Sometimes, arguments must be had, however. Consider whether the problem will matter in a few weeks or if it may prevent you from doing your job. Pull the person aside to talk to them, don’t interrupt them when they speak, and work to find solutions rather than create more problems.
7
Watch your words. Using phrases similar to “umm” or “like” very often can make you seem younger. Work to expel these youthful phrases from your vocabulary and opt instead for a slight pause until you can gather your thoughts and choose a better word.^{[6]
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- Remember that you don’t need to fill every moment with speech. Some people use terms like “um” when they are thinking or when they don’t know what to say. In those moments, silence will suffice.
8
Mimic your role models. Sometimes the best way to appear older is to fake it until you make it. Think about your mentors, parents, or other role models. What behaviors or mannerisms do you notice in them that you think are admirable? Mimic those and incorporate them into your daily life.^{[7]
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- For instance, if you notice that your father never insults people but always compliments them instead, you can work to become more like that, as well.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Looking the Part

1
Maintain good hygiene. In addition to behaving more maturely, it is also important to maintain good hygiene practices. Remember that the people most likely to have poor hygiene are children, and since you are trying to look older, keeping yourself neat and clean will be important in looking the part. Shower daily, brush your teeth, and keep yourself neat.^{[8]
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- Keep your hair neat and kempt. Get regular haircuts and wash it often.
2
Dress as if you are slightly older than your age. The clothes that you choose to wear can have a huge impact on how old you are perceived to be. Don’t wear clothes with cartoon characters, glitter, or wild designs on them. These have a tendency to make you look younger. Chose clothes that are nice, neat, fitted but not tight, and not flashy.
- Make sure you always wear clothes that are ironed and clean.
- Don’t be overly trendy. Stick with the classics.
- Wear clothes that fit you well. Get your clothes tailored if possible and necessary.
- Avoid wearing a lot of bright colors. Opt for a more monochromatic look.^{[9]
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3
Consider getting glasses. Glasses are primarily worn by older people, so many have a tendency to associate anyone wearing glasses with being more mature. If you wear contacts, consider switching to wearing glasses, instead. If you have good vision and don’t need glasses, consider selecting a pair that do not have a prescription in them.
4
Wear a little makeup. Makeup can either make or break you in your quest to looking older. If you wear too much, you will look like you are trying too hard which will make you appear slightly immature. Opt for a natural look. Wear a bit of foundation, concealer and perhaps lipstick as well.^{[10]
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Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source}
- Avoid wearing lipstick colors like blue or black. Opt for reds or more neutral colors.
5
Improve your posture. Slouching won't portray the mature appearance you desire. Hold your head up high and straighten your back. Use body language to communicate maturity. Sit up straight when sitting and keep your arms uncrossed.
6
Avoid a lot of accessories. Though wearing accessories in moderation can certainly be a good thing, wearing too many simultaneously can make you look gaudy. Stick with a key one or two accessories and try not to wear much more. You don’t want to appear to be too flashy.
- Wear only one or two rings.
- Wear a belt with a sensibly sized buckle.
- Avoid wearing extremely large earrings.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Gaining Wisdom

1
Listen closely to what others say. Few things demonstrate maturity as well as being a good listener. Be a good conversationalist. Be interested in what people are saying; try to add occasional comments.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach
Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.}
- Try to remember two to three things about your conversations with people and then ask about them later. This will help to show the person that you were listening and that you care about them.
- Remember that people enjoy talking about themselves. Tap into that desire by asking them questions and then listening intently.
2
Improve your vocabulary. Try to learn at least one new word per day and try to include them in your everyday language. Though many mistakenly attribute using cuss words with people who are older, avoid cursing as much as possible. It indicates that you are trying a bit too hard and does not convey maturity.
- To learn new words, you can use flashcards to write a few down per week. Keep them in your wallet and study them in your spare time.
3
Read more. Read the news, read books, read magazines. Read whatever you can get your hands on. The more you read, the more you will know and the more mature you will appear to people. Work to make sure that you are continuously learning and developing your knowledge base.^{[12]
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Research source} Then, you can talk with people about world issues or interesting things you have read about to develop a dialogue with them.
- Consider getting a newspaper subscription.
- Download a news source app on your phone.
4
Spend time with people you respect and admire. It is said that you are the a combination of the five people that you spend the most time with, so be mindful of who those people are. Try to spend more time with people who are older and more mature with you. You will eventually pick up many of their positive mannerisms and may be perceived as older.
- Look for respectful, healthy ways to end relationships with people who are immature or who impact your life negatively.
5
Set goals and reach them. Another indicator of a truly mature person is the ability to set a goal and achieve it. Think daily on your life and ways that you could improve it and write down a list of your top objectives for the year. Write out ways that you can achieve these goals and work daily to achieve them.
- For instance, perhaps you want to become student body president. Write out all of the steps in that process and begin planning.

Warnings

You shouldn't change who you are on the inside. While it may be important to you for others to see that you are older, who you are shouldn't suffer. Most people are aware when you are "faking" it.

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