How to Stop Being Immature

Co-authored by Tami Claytor

Last Updated: September 19, 2022 References Approved

Immaturity can prevent you from becoming your full adult self. Fortunately, you can take steps to grow up and grow out of childish behavior. In fact, becoming more mature can help you improve your professional life and lead to a more fulfilling personal life. To stop being immature, you will need to focus on developing more mature grooming and dressing habits, having a more mature approach to school and work, and acting more mature around others.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Acting More Mature Around Others

1
Practice active listening. Show others you can be mature by being active when you have conversations or discussions. Active listening means viewing every conversation as a way to get to know someone better or learn something new. When you are actively listening, the speaker can tell you are engaged in what they are saying and able to respond with energy and sincerity.^{[1]
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Greater Good in Action
An initiative by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center promoting science-based practices for a meaningful life
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- You can practice active listening with a sympathetic friend. Have the friend talk to you about her day and maintain your focus fully on her. Listen to her without interruption, while nodding and making eye contact to show you are engaged. Once she is finished speaking, repeat what she said to you in your own words. You can begin with, “What I hear you saying is…” or “I think you mean…”
- If she agrees that you have understood what she said, you can respond to her and offer advice or a comment. This will show that you can have mature conversations and practice active listening.
2
Show support and concern for friends and partners. A big part of being mature is sympathizing with the needs of others and showing concern for others. Be open about your support and concern for friends, family, partners, and even strangers. This will show that you can think beyond your needs and be aware of what others around you might need.^{[2]
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- Ask friends how they are feeling or how they are doing and show them you support them by participating in things that are important to them. This could be showing up for a friend’s rec game or a friend’s play, or participating in a charity drive organized by family and friends.
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3
Demonstrate good manners toward others. Being polite towards others will show that you can be mature and carry yourself with respect. Open doors for others, say “please”, “thank you”, and “you’re welcome”, and say “excuse me” as you pass someone.
- For example, you might hold the elevator open for someone even if you're in a hurry.^{[3]
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  Expert Source
  
  Tami Claytor
  Etiquette Coach
  Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.}
- Good manners also means helping someone if it is obvious they need a hand, such as an elderly person trying to cross the street, or stopping to talk to someone in need, like a homeless person on the street. Having good manners and showing them to others will be a good indicator that you are mature enough to consider others and care about the well-being of those around you.
4
Act responsibly and maturely in your romantic relationship. If you are struggling with maturity in your relationships with a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner, you should think about how you can demonstrate commitment and accountability to your partner. This could be making sure you arrive on time for every date and that you make an effort to remember all important dates or milestones in your relationship. Acting responsibly in your relationship will show your partner that you take the relationship seriously and are trying to be a mature adult.^{[4]
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HelpGuide
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- You should also make sure you follow through on any commitments made to your partner, such as following through on a planned trip or date or following through on a promise to give up a bad habit like drinking or smoking. This will demonstrate you are willing to be accountable to your promises and act maturely in your interactions with your partner.
5
Adjust your maturity level based on the situation. While it may seem like being a mature individual can be a pretty tall order, with a commitment to being supportive, responsible, and a good listener to everyone around you, you can also adjust your maturity level based on the situation you are in. If you are around your family, for example, you may demonstrate a different maturity level than if you are around your close friends.
- Try to adjust your maturity level so it suits the situation and the company you are in at that time. This will allow you to show the necessary level of maturity and still have a good time or have fun around others.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Having a Mature Approach to School and Work

1
Show up early for meetings and important events. Let your co-workers and clients know you value their time by showing up five to ten minutes early for all meetings and important events at work. This will demonstrate your maturity as an adult in the workplace, as you are willing to put other people’s time above your own. Being late for a meeting or barging in during a client call is the definition of being unprofessional and immature.^{[5]
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- You should also try to show up early for all classes and school related meetings, as this will demonstrate to your peers that you can be responsible for yourself and for arriving early or on time. Try to be early or on time for even seemingly casual or unimportant meetings with peers, as your peers will take it as a sign of your maturity and tact.
2
Come prepared for class or work. Show up to work or to class ready to go, with all the necessary supplies and notes. For class, this may mean having a notebook, pen, textbook, and highlighter ready. For work, this may mean being prepared with pen, paper, client related notes or information, and your work phone.^{[6]
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- Coming to class and work prepared will show your teachers and superiors that you take your role very seriously and are willing to do the hard work necessary to succeed. This will also project an air of confidence and self-respect as you are able to be accountable to the expectations of your role as a student and an employee.
3
Treat co-workers and peers with respect. Demonstrate maturity in your interactions with others by having good manners and a respectful nature. This could be as simple as holding open the door for others, helping someone with a heavy package or a heavy load, or acknowledging everyone with a “good morning” or “hello”. Be considerate of the feelings and needs of others, with an awareness of how to be helpful and useful to your friends, peers, and co-workers.^{[7]
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- You should also always knock on doors before you enter a room, meeting space, or office, and say “excuse me” if you are interrupting a client call or a meeting. This will demonstrate that you can be respectful of other people’s needs and time.
4
Demonstrate appreciation for the hard work of others. Let others around you know how much you appreciate their hard work and dedication, as this will show you can take a mature approach to the workplace and the classroom. If you see a co-worker doing a great job on an account, pull them aside and say, “Great job on that, I really appreciate your hard work.” If you notice a peer helping a student struggling with a math problem, let them know you think it was cool of them to offer some guidance and mentoring.^{[8]
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Harvard Business Review
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- You can also take on the role of a mentor or guide to others as a way to demonstrate maturity to others. Look for any peers who are struggling with their work or co-workers who may need a hand on a project and offer any guidance or assistance. This will allow you to be a role model for others and show how mature you can be.
5
Accept constructive criticism and feedback. One of the most challenging parts of being mature is being willing to accept criticism and feedback. An immature response to criticism would be anger, resentment, or denial. A more mature response would be to say thank you to the person who is offering criticism and consider what the person has to say. This will show that you have enough confidence and maturity to respect the opinions of others and to listen to their feedback.^{[9]
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Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Developing Mature Grooming and Dressing Habits

1
Practice good hygiene. Present yourself to others in a mature way by appearing well groomed and well put together. This means making sure your body and face are clean, your teeth have been brushed and flossed, and you are wearing deodorant so you smell fresh. You should always shower once a day and take time in the morning to look presentable before you step out into the world.^{[10]
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- You should also take some time to do your hair by ensuring it is brushed and looks clean. Use styling gel and styling tools to tame your hair so it compliments your overall look. Being mature about your appearance will show others that you care about how you look and want to be taken seriously.
2
Dress appropriately for work. If you turn up to work in a crumpled t-shirt, ripped jeans, and flip flops, you may appear immature or inappropriate to your co-workers and your clients. Present a business professional look by dressing appropriately for your workplace to give off an air of maturity.
- For men, this may mean a full, tailored suit with a clean pressed dress shirt, tie, and leather shoes. If you work in a less formal environment, you should still show up to work in a clean shirt, clean pants, and comfortable, clean shoes.
- Men should also never wear hats indoors.^{[11]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Tami Claytor
  Etiquette Coach
  Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.}
- For women, this may mean a clean, pressed blouse with a pencil skirt or dress pants, and low leather heels. If you work in a less formal environment, you should still present yourself professionally, with clean clothing and clean, comfortable shoes.
3
Wear age appropriate clothing for a night out. While you may want to rock booty shorts, tube tops, or tight flashy pants for club nights out, this may come across as immature if you are no longer of a younger age. Dressing your age for a night out will demonstrate that you can present yourself in a mature manner and likely draw in individuals who are also mature and age appropriate. Even if you are younger in age, you may want to show less skin and adopt a mature look to appear put together but also sexy.
- Always wear clothes that fit properly, and make sure your garments aren't wrinkled or stained.^{[12]
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  Expert Source
  
  Tami Claytor
  Etiquette Coach
  Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.}
- Men should wear clean, pressed pants or jeans, and a clean collared shirt. Put on cologne and nice jewelry like a watch or a chain to add a touch of class to your look.
- Women should wear a form fitting dress or clean, pressed top and dress pants with heels or comfortable dressy shoes. Apply some perfume and make up as well as tasteful jewelry to demonstrate your mature, put together look.