How to Ask a Guy if He Likes You

Co-authored by Collette Gee

Last Updated: June 18, 2021 References

So there's a guy in your life who you think might like you. Of course, you want to learn more so you know what to do next! If you haven't had any serious conversations with the guy, try taking steps to break the ice. Then, work up your courage and ask him what he thinks! You may or may not get the answer you want but at least you'll know.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Breaking the Ice If You Haven't Met

1
Give the guy a compliment. Everyone likes to hear nice things about themselves, and even if you haven't said much else to him, a compliment can come off as casual if you do it right. Pick something you notice about his outfit, or try complimenting his smarts. Just give him a quick compliment to let him know you've noticed him.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- For example, you could say, "Hey, great job answering that question from the teacher! It was a hard one," "That's a cool backpack!" or "You have great taste in music!"
2
Make a comment about something you have in common. That could be a class you're taking together or just something you see in the room. The goal is to get him talking to you!^{[2]
X
Research source}
- For instance, you could say, "That test in math was sure hard, wasn't it?" or "Hey, it sure is crowded in here, isn't it?"
Advertisement
3
Get him to do something small for you. Asking someone for a favor makes them give a little bit of themselves to you. In turn, they tend to like you more. The favor doesn't have to be anything big. It can be as simple as "Can you pass me the salt, please?"^{[3]
X
Research source}
- You could also try "Would you grab me a napkin?" or "Can you keep an eye on my stuff for a second while I go to the bathroom?"
4
Buy the guy's coffee for him. If you're going on a coffee run, ask if he wants anything. If you're a little nervous, you could offer coffee to several people. Either way, don't take his money for the coffee, and he'll probably return the favor.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- It doesn't have to be coffee! It could be a soda, candy, or even something like a magazine.
5
Quiz the guy about himself. People like talking about themselves, so open a conversation by asking him a question or two. It can be about anything involving him, from a light question to a slightly more serious one.^{[5]
X
Research source}
- For instance, you could ask, "Have you studied for that test? It looks hard," "Why are you here this late in the afternoon?" or "Where did you get that awesome binder?"
6
Talk about yourself, too. If the guy turns the questions on you, be willing to give him some answers. You can't sustain a whole conversation with just questions about him! Answer him honestly, and then give him another question in return.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- For instance, if he asks you what you like about school, you could say, "My favorite subject is science! I love doing experiments and predicting the outcome. What's your favorite subject?"
- If he asks about your interests, you might say, "I love reading and going to the movies. I just love getting lost in a story! Painting is also fun. I love art class! What do you like?

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Working up to Asking the Guy

1
Make friends first. If you tell a guy you like him out of the blue, it may catch him off guard. Try making friends with him first, by continuing to strike up conversations with him over time. Keep talking to him every time you see him, especially if he seems interested!^{[7]
X
Research source}
- Ask the guy to hang out with you. You don't have to hang out alone with him. Invite him out with a group of your friends, for instance. You could all go to the movies, to the park, or to the coffee shop. Spending time with him helps you get to know each other!^{[8]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Collette Gee
  Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist
  Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.}^{[9]
  X
  Research source}
- For example, you might say, "Hey, we're going to get ice cream this afternoon. Want to come?"
2
Show him you like him. Little things can help you say you like the guy. For instance, making eye contact, smiling at him, and touching his arm while talking to him all subtly let him know that you like him as more than a friend!^{[10]
X
Expert Source

Collette Gee
Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist
Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.}
- You can also give him compliments, bring him small gifts, or try to cheer him up when he's down.
3
Gather your confidence. It can be a little scary to tell a guy you like him. That's perfectly normal! Tell yourself that you can do it! Look in the mirror and remind yourself of your good qualities and then give asking him your question a practice run.
- If you're running low on confidence, try asking your friends to encourage you. It can be good to hear what's good about you from someone else!^{[11]
  X
  Research source}
4
Remind yourself that, no matter what happens, it's not the end of the world. If you're worried about talking to the guy, think about the possible outcomes. He might say he likes you! Alternatively, he might say he likes you just as a friend. He might even say he doesn't like you. Of course that hurts! But remind yourself, the world won't end. He may not like you but someone will! You just have to be patient.^{[12]
X
Research source}
- If you don't get the response you're looking for, it's okay to feel a little blue. Try to find a way to cheer yourself up. Go watch a funny movie or hang out with a friend, for instance.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Asking the Question

1
Try asking the guy in person if you're feeling brave. Asking the guy in person lets you get it over with quickly. Plus, you'll be able to see what his body language is saying. When you're having a conversation with him, wait for a pause. Then, pluck up the courage and ask him. Be as specific as you can!^{[13]
X
Expert Source

Collette Gee
Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist
Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.}^{[14]
X
Research source}
- For example, you might say, "John, I've been meaning to ask you... Do you like me as more than a friend?"
- You could also say, "John, I'm not sure how to say this, so I'll just say it: Do you want to be more than just friends?"
2
Text him if you can't bring yourself to do it in person. It can be hard to confess your feelings in person, and in this instance, it's okay to ask him over text. It gives both of you a chance to think about what's being said and make thoughtful responses.^{[15]
X
Research source}
- For instance, you could write, "Hi, we've been talking for a while, and I just wanted to ask you, do you like me? As more than a friend?"
3
Tell the guy it's okay if he doesn't like you. When you're asking, you can say it's okay either way, whether he likes you or not. You just want to know the truth. That way, it helps him express his feelings honestly.^{[16]
X
Research source}
- For instance, you might say, "It's fine if you don't like me back. I completely understand. I just want to clear the air."
4
Confess your own feelings. If you're asking because you like the guy, let him know that. If you're asking because you think things are getting more serious and you want to be friends, tell him that, instead. It's important to be honest about your feelings.^{[17]
X
Research source}
- For instance, you might say, "I want to know because I like you."
- On the other hand, you could say, "I feel like maybe you do like me, which is really nice, but I just want to be friends."