This article was written by John Keegan and by wikiHow staff writer, Madeleine Criglow. John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
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The movie date: it's a staple for a reason. Watching a movie with the girl that you like is a fun way to get to know her and a great idea for a first date. If you're looking to ask her over text, there are a few things you can try to make sure the conversation goes as well as possible. Keep reading for some tips!
This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, John Keegan, founder of The Awakened Lifestyle. Check out the full interview here.
Steps
Initiating the Conversation
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1Start the text conversation with a question. Rather than simply saying "Hi," try initiating the conversation with a question. Ask her how her day is going or how her week has been. This gets the conversation moving forward from the start, and it'll make thinking of a response easier for her, too.
- Text her something like, "Hey, how's your day been?"
- Avoid starting the conversation with "Hey" and nothing else. She may not know how to respond that.[1]
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2Show off your sense of humor. If you know each other a little better or don't feel super inspired by a simple question, start things off with a funny meme, GIF, or joke. Being playful like this is a charming way to initiate the conversation, and setting a friendly tone can help you feel more comfortable when you ask her out.[2]
- Reference an inside joke that you share, like a funny thing in class that happened the other day.
- Send over a funny picture of a cat with the caption, "Thought you might appreciate this..."
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3Flirt with her to gauge her interest. Send her a compliment or a playful question to kick things off. It'll establish your interest in her from the start of the conversation, and you can use her response as a clue for whether she'll say yes or no when you ask her out.[3]
- Text her something like, "I didn't see you in class today! How am I supposed to go through Chemistry alone?"
- Give her a subtle, genuine compliment. If you just met, text her something like, "I had a great time talking to you at the party last week. You've got an amazing sense of humor!"
- If you know her a little better, try, "I loved that sweater you were wearing today."
Having a Great Date
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1Ask her directly and pick a specific date. Avoid using casual terms like "hang out" so that she knows it's a date, and be sure to include a specific day. Even if you have to pick an alternative time, this shows that you intend to make these plans happen![4]
- Text her, "Would you want to see a movie with me next Saturday?"
- Alternatively, be a little playful with your ask. Try, "I want to see the new Final Destination on Friday, but I'm scared to see it alone. Any chance you want to come with me?"
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2Respond with a plan if she says yes. You did it! Now that she's said yes, pick a movie theater and a showtime that works for both of you. Once you've decided on a time and place, look into pre-booking seats to make sure you can sit together.[5]
- If you'd like, ask if she'd like to get dinner before the movie. That way you can talk a little bit and get to know each other before it starts.
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3Avoid taking it personally if she says no. Unfortunately, rejection is a part of dating, and everyone has to deal with it at some point. Let yourself feel your feelings (it's totally normal to be a little hurt!), and try to take it as an opportunity to meet someone who's better suited for you. End the conversation on a high note by respecting her wishes and responding with a brief and polite message.[6]
- Text her something like, "I totally understand. Thank you for letting me know!"
- Look at the experience as practice for asking people out. What you did took guts, so congratulate yourself for your courage!
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4Pick a movie that she wants to see. Text her and ask what kind of movies she enjoys. If she's open to anything or doesn't have a suggestion, look up a few movies and offer some choices. Pick a variety of films to choose from, like a horror movie, a comedy, and an action film.[7]
- Choosing a movie that you both will enjoy ups the chances of having a great date.
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5Order yummy snacks at the movies. To make the experience more fun, go all out with snacks and drinks. Order some popcorn, a soda, and plenty of candy. If you're not a fan of the selection at the theater or the prices are expensive, consider going to a convenience store and sneaking in snacks with your date. This can make the date feel a little more spontaneous and exciting.[8]
- Sneak in snacks at your own risk. Most movie theaters don't technically allow this.
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6Be affectionate with your date during the movie. If you both feel comfortable, try holding her hand, putting your arm around her, or even kissing her on the cheek. To determine if she's comfortable, start slow. Lean towards her and whisper in her ear during the movie. If she smiles and leans in to listen, that's a good sign that she may respond well to more affectionate gestures.[9]
- Only do things that you're both comfortable with. If your date doesn't want to talk or get close during the movie, she may just be shy or super into the film.
Following Up Afterwards
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1Let her know that you had a great time. If you really enjoyed her company, tell her! Don't worry about texting her too soon. Text her when you get home or wait until the next day to share how much fun you had.[10]
- Send a brief message like, "Hey hope you got home safe! I had a great time tonight" or "Last night was so fun! Thanks again for a great Saturday."
- Send her 1 message to start things off. Though you may be tempted to send her a bunch of texts about how cool she is, take it slow to avoid texting too much too soon.
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2Talk to her about the movie and ask her what she thought. Keep the conversation going by referencing a particularly funny part of the film. If it was a scary movie, make a joke about that jump scare that both caught you off guard![11]
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3Ask her for a second date if it went well. Don't be shy if you had a really great time. There's a huge chance she did, too. Let her know you enjoy spending time with her and suggest another activity for a second date.[12]
- Think of a different activity than watching a movie so that you can both learn new things about each other. Try going mini-golfing, getting lunch at a hip restaurant, or walking a trail at a local park.
References
- ↑ https://www.thecut.com/article/how-to-flirt-over-text-tips-and-flirty-texts-examples.html
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 18 November 2019.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/flirting
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 18 November 2019.
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 18 November 2019.
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/tips-for-finding-lasting-love.htm
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 18 November 2019.
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 18 November 2019.
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 18 November 2019.
- ↑ https://www.gq.com/story/how-to-follow-up-after-a-good-first-date
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 18 November 2019.
- ↑ https://www.gq.com/story/how-to-follow-up-after-a-good-first-date