12 Tips for Dating a Woman Who's 10 Years Younger

Co-authored by Christina Jay, NLP and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: March 2, 2023 References

Meeting someone you like and could see yourself with long-term is wonderful—but if there’s an age gap between you two, it could give you some pause. Dating someone 10 years younger than you might sound like a stretch, but in reality, age gap relationships can last just as long as other relationships. We’ve gathered a list of tips to keep in mind as you nurture your partnership to attract and keep a beautiful woman.

1

Grow closer to each other with common interests.

You two will most likely bond over what you have in common. Just like a relationship with a woman your own age, you should spend time doing things you love together as a couple. Try not to think of your age as a hindrance to this fact—if you two are right for each other, you’re going to find a couple of things that you have in common.^{[1]
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- For instance, maybe you’re both foodies and you love trying new restaurants. You could each suggest a new place and pick one for a date night.
- Or, maybe you’re both voracious readers. Try taking her on a date to the bookstore, then get coffee afterward.

2

Treat her like an equal partner.

Age is just a number, and you two are in an equal partnership together. You may have had more life experience at this point, but you still need to work together to make decisions and create future plans. It’s fine to take the lead on some things, but if you overpower her in the relationship constantly, issues could happen over time.^{[2]
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- Even little things, like asking her where she wants to go to dinner or deciding where to vacation together, will help ensure that you’re both on even footing.
- Be direct. Don’t try to play games or get super subtle when the two of you are communicating.

3

Take her out on the town.

Since she’s younger, she might be more into going out. This isn’t true for all women, of course, so you’ll have to spend a little time getting to know more about her. However, if she wants to go out every weekend but you just want to stay at home, you may have to make a few compromises. Try taking her up on a few of her offers to go out—you might just have a great time!
- It’s totally fine to send her out with friends every now and then, too. Just try not to do it all the time.

4

Let her pay for dates, too.

Just because you’re older doesn’t mean you always have to foot the bill. If you make more money than she does, you can offer to pay for things more often. However, let her pay for some things too, and take her up on offers to go out on her dime.^{[3]
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- Not only will splitting the bill sometimes avoid any strange imbalances between you two, but it will also let her feel more empowered within the relationship.

5

Try to keep up with her sexually.

Depending on your age range, your libidos might be slightly mismatched. Women tend to hit their sexual peaks in their 30s or 40s—if she’s nearing or in that range, you’re probably going to have a fun time in the bedroom. It’s totally fine to tell her “not tonight,” but you may also want to practice foreplay and use other forms of intimacy to keep her satisfied.^{[4]
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- If you do end up telling her no (which, again, is totally fine), be sure to remind her that it’s not because you don't find her attractive.

6

Be dependable.

Older people have a reputation for being more reliable. While you don’t have to be mature and serious in every situation, you should try to make plans and stick to them. A lot of times, younger people will go for someone older because they’re tired of the wishy-washy nature of people their own age. Stick to your word, and the woman you’re dating is most likely going to be impressed.
- Try to stay in contact with her too, especially when you first start dating. Waiting a while before asking someone on a date again is a young person’s game, so you don’t need to do that.

7

Let her live her own life.

She might have friends or hobbies you aren’t involved in, and that’s okay. If she’s too busy to hang out with you one weekend, take advantage of the free time and spend some time on your own. You’re both going to have interests and friendships that the other person isn’t a part of, which is a great sign of a healthy relationship.^{[5]
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- This can be even more true in age gap relationships. Since you two are in different life stages, she might have different interests than you do, which is fine.
- Don’t overthink things or read too much into it if she wants to have fun alone. This is perfectly normal.

8

Give her advice if she asks.

The key here is to try not to lecture her. Since you’re a bit older, you have more life experience, which can be very valuable to someone who is young. However, constantly giving your date life advice can skew the dynamics a bit, and it can sometimes feel like you’re talking to a child instead of a romantic partner. If she needs help, she’ll ask you—otherwise, try not to do it too often.^{[6]
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- For instance, maybe you can help her out with a 401(k), or figuring out how to quit her job. Advice like this can be super useful, especially coming from a partner.

9

Talk about your relationship expectations.

Make sure you both have similar goals for the future. Since she’s younger, she might be satisfied traveling or focusing on her career for a while until settling down. If that lines up with your plans, great! If not, have a serious chat about your timeline and what you’d like to accomplish.^{[7]
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- Having children is another big factor that you two should definitely discuss. If you have kids, do you want any more? If she doesn’t have kids, would she like to have them in the future?

10

Talk about relationship issues with her.

Age gap relationships can have slightly more issues than other relationships. If anything serious crops up, be sure to keep an open line of communication with her so you two can chat about your issues. Check in with her often by asking things like, “Are you happy in our relationship?” and, “How do you feel our relationship is going?”
- Studies show that as age gap relationships progress, satisfaction tends to lower for some partners.^{[8]
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  PubMed Central
  Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
  Go to source} If you do get serious and problems start to crop up, consider seeing a couple’s counselor.

11

Spend time with loved ones who won’t judge.

Your true friends and family members will want you to be happy. Hang onto the friends and family members who accept your relationship at face value and won’t judge you for who you date. Dating a younger woman is mostly accepted by society, but still, you might face a bit of criticism, and that can be tough to hear.^{[9]
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- If you’re gearing up to meet her parents, ask her to talk to them and tell them that you’re a little older than her. You may want to be prepared for a little questioning from her parents, especially the first time you meet. Just emphasize how much you love and respect their daughter, and how happy you both are in the relationship. ^{[10]
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- Some friends and family members might just need a little time to get used to things. Once they see that you're in a loving, healthy relationship, they’ll probably come around.

12

Try not to pay attention to criticism.

Stand together if anyone tries to criticize your relationship. All that matters is the happiness of you and your partner, so don’t let outside opinions get to you. Try to explain how deep your relationship is to the people around you, and brush off comments from strangers if they happen. If you and your partner are content with your relationship, then other people’s opinions won’t phase you as much.^{[11]
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- A lot of times, people are well-meaning when they question your relationship. They might just be worried about you or your partner, so try to reassure them however you can.