How to Tell if a Girl Is Bored of Texting You

Co-authored by Joshua Pompey and Janice Tieperman

Last Updated: November 6, 2021 References

Scoring a girl’s number is seriously exciting, but it isn’t always smooth sailing. It can be really tough to know where you stand, especially if you can’t talk or hang out in person. Not to worry! Here are some easy ways to tell if she’s bored of texting you.

1

She doesn’t reply.

Tally up how many times she’s left you on read. Does she forget to reply to your messages a lot, or does she answer pretty frequently?^{[1]
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Expert Source

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.} If she’s bored, she might not bother replying to your texts, and then make up a lot of excuses about why she didn’t reply.^{[2]
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- Listen to her excuses and see if they’re genuine. Reasons like “I was at work” or “I was in class” are pretty solid, while “I was busy” seems pretty vague.

2

You do most of the texting.

Count how many messages you send, and how many she sends. Are you both talking equal amounts, or are you talking 80% of the time? According to experts, unbalanced conversations are a key sign that the other person is feeling bored.^{[3]
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3

Her texts are vague.

Vague answers show a definite lack of interest. While an occasional vague text isn’t the end of the world, constantly vague messages are a red flag. If she doesn’t take the time to write out a thoughtful reply, she’s probably bored.^{[4]
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- One-word answers like “okay” or “cool” are prime examples of vague texts.

4

Her messages mirror yours.

Bored people tend to repeat statements instead of saying something original. Read over some of your recent texts, and see how she replied to your messages. If she repeats what you sent without writing an original response, she’s probably bored.^{[5]
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- For instance, if you sent something like, “It’s snowing outside,” she might reply with, “Yeah, it’s snowing outside.”

5

She asks basic questions.

Simple questions show a lack of interest. Pay attention to her replies when you talk about your day. See if she asks specific questions, or if her replies are on the general side. If she’s bored, she probably won’t put too much thought into her texts, and rely on basic questions.^{[6]
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- Texts like “Where did you go?” or “What did you do?” are vague.
- Keep in mind that it can be really hard to pick up on somebody's tone or intentions through messages—that might just be how she texts.^{[7]
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  Imad Jbara
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}

6

She changes the topic quickly.

Changing the subject shows that she’s not paying attention. In a really engaged conversation, your conversation will build off a single topic. If you’re texting about your weekend plans and she replies with a random question or segues into a different topic without any explanation, there’s a good chance that she was bored of the original conversation.^{[8]
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- For example, if you were texting about your favorite TV show and she randomly messages you about Spanish homework, she probably wasn’t listening to whatever you told her.

7

She doesn’t set aside time to talk.

Any kind of friendship or relationship involves making time for others. If she’s really interested in chatting with you, she’ll find the time to do it, even if your schedule is jam-packed. If she isn’t willing to talk to you at any point during the week, there’s a good chance that she’s bored of you.^{[9]
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- Some people might not text much during the week, but text more on the weekend to make up for it. If she never seems to have time to talk, she probably isn’t interested in carrying on a conversation.
- Scroll through your chat history and see who usually starts up the conversation. It’s definitely a red flag if you’re always sending the first text.

8

She never asks for more information.

Follow-up questions are key to a good conversation. These questions prove that she’s really interested and tuning in to what you’re saying. If she never seems to care about anything you’re sending, there’s a good chance that she’s bored of the conversation.^{[10]
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- If you’re talking about your weekend plans, she could ask questions like “What are you most looking forward to?” or “Do you go there a lot?”

Expert Q&A
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Question

Can you get to know someone over text?

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

Imad Jbara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

It's really hard for somebody to understand your texting until they meet you in person, because everybody has a specific way of texting, and a unique sense of humor. If the person doesn't know you, you might say something and it might be a joke, but it could come off the wrong way. It also really takes away from the spontaneity of the conversation, because you're carefully crafting each message.

Warnings

Don’t text the same thing every day. Messages like “hi,” “hey,” or “what’s up” can become pretty repetitive and boring.^{[13]
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Give her time to get back to you. If she doesn’t reply within a few minutes, that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s bored—she might be busy, or not quite ready to reply.^{[14]
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