How to Stop Envying Famous People

Co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Last Updated: December 18, 2022 References

Famous people seem to have it all, and the world we live in encourages us to want what celebrities have, from fame and a glamorous lifestyle to mountains of money. Celebrities are people too, though, and it isn't always healthy to compare yourself to how they seem on the outside or direct a lot of envy their way. If you have trouble with envying famous people, get a handle on these disruptive and painful behaviors by learning more about envy and what this envy means for you.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Adjusting Your Perspective

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Recognize that everyone has challenges to overcome. Although celebrities may seem to have lots of great things going for them, it is likely that there are some serious struggles that you do not hear about in magazines or TV interviews. Try to look at the big picture and acknowledge that you are only getting part of the story about a celebrity’s life from media depictions. Looking at the big picture may help to tame some of your envy.
- As a celebrity, one might have the privilege of money, awesome clothes, and attention, but celebrities also have to worry about things that average people don’t, such as protecting their assets, being stalked by paparazzi, and keeping up appearances.
- Celebrities also deal with some of the same problems as everyone else, such as depression, loneliness, and insecurity. Try to remind yourself that no matter how wealthy or famous someone is, they are still human and still have human problems.
2
Practice gratitude. Instead of constantly comparing yourself to a celebrity you idolize, try to cultivate gratitude for what you have in your life. Making a gratitude list every day or once a week is a good practice. You can start small, such as by listing basic necessities that you are grateful for, and then add more specific things to the list as time goes by. Some things that might show up on the list include:^{[1]
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- Your loved ones and friends.
- A roof over your head.
- Food to eat.
- A beautiful sunset.
- Some spare time to enjoy a hobby.
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3
Compliment people. Complimenting others can also help to reduce your feelings of envy. If you envy celebrities who receive a lot of positive attention from the people around them, try spreading positivity to the people around you. Small compliments to your friends and family can mean a world of difference, both to them and to yourself. They will appreciate your positivity and you can pat yourself on the back for taking small steps to make the world around you a better place.
- For example, you can pay a compliment to your mom on her excellent cooking, tell your best friend that her hair looks beautiful, or congratulate a classmate or coworker on an awesome presentation.
- Since many celebrities are on social media, such as Twitter and Facebook, you might even consider paying a compliment to a celebrity who you envy. For example, if you are feeling a little envious because of the beautiful dress a celebrity wore on the red carpet, try complimenting her on how beautiful she looked. As you do so, remind yourself that this celebrity is a person with emotions just like yours and she will probably really appreciate your compliment.
4
Draw inspiration from envy. The celebrities you envy probably have a lot of strengths. You can focus on these aspects of their personality and life to inspire your own. For example, if there's a singer whose fashion you admire, use that as motivation to find your own sense of style. Or, if you are feeling envious because an actress transformed her body for a role in an action film, then start your own action star fitness program.
- Just keep it reasonable. There's nothing wrong with looking up to people. We all need role models. Looking up to people is an old practice that comes from looking up to people in your tribe with good survival skills, like talented hunters.^{[2]
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  Research source} A little bit can be healthy and inspiring, just avoid letting yourself go overboard. Admiration for celebrities, rather than envy, can be healthy to have.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Learning to Accept Who You Are

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Adopt a non-judgmental attitude toward yourself. Often, envy shows up because we feel like we aren't good enough. Somebody else is better than us or has something we want. Learning to accept yourself and stop judging yourself for who you are will have a big impact on the envy that you feel toward celebrities. Non-judgment is different from self-esteem. Non-judgment is about accepting yourself for who you are.^{[3]
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- You didn't always have control over your past, but you can accept how it's shaped you and take responsibility for your life now.
- If this is really difficult for you, consider going to a therapist, who can help you with learning to accept and love yourself.
2
Avoid comparing yourself to celebrities. We live in a culture that encourages us to look up to celebrities and compare ourselves with them, but this is not healthy.^{[4]
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Research source} Many magazines depict celebrities in such a way that achieving the same physical appearance would be almost impossible and possibly even dangerous to attempt.
- For example, models for fashion magazines are often underweight, which is unhealthy. However, these models are depicted as glamorous and beautiful.
- It is also important to remember that most images in magazines are altered to make the models and celebrities look thinner and more beautiful.^{[5]
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  Research source} Using computer programs, someone can transform an average photo of a celebrity into one with flawless skin, a perfect hourglass figure, and striking blue eyes.
3
Find other ways to live a meaningful life. We may love celebrities so much because of the legacies they build. Good actors and musicians will be remembered for their talents and works long after they die. It makes sense to envy what these people have done, but you should focus on yourself and try to find your own path to happiness and creativity.^{[6]
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- If you have a passion such as playing guitar or designing clothes, focus on developing your skills rather than comparing yourself to others.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Reflecting on Your Envy

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Discover your type of envy. Celebrity worship is a common experience for a lot of people. What do you envy about the celebrity? Once you know what it is that you envy, you will be better equipped to address it.^{[7]
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Research source} Think about these examples:
- Body image. Do they have a "perfect" body that you wish you had?
- Lifestyle. Do you envy their extravagant lifestyle?
- Money. Do you envy the amount of money they have?
- Fame. Do you wish you were as famous as they are?
2
Dig into your envy. Envy can actually show you a lot about yourself. It's a window into what you want in life and maybe even what you're afraid of. Reflecting on your envy can give you insight and self-knowledge.^{[8]
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- Ask yourself what the envy is trying to tell you, if it could tell you something. Is the envy related to something in yourself that you want to develop?^{[9]
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- Of course, you may want to have a therapist or a good friend on hand to help you work through these things, rather than tackling them on your own.
3
Work on the issue. Choosing a goal related to your envy can be a healthy way to deal with it and improve something about yourself in the process. Try to dig into the root of the problem and work towards a goal.^{[10]
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- For example, if it's a particular kind of celebrity body you envy, look into improving your body image through therapy or a support group for people with body image issues. If it's money, ask yourself how much money would make you happy and why.
4
Think about how destructive envy can be. Is comparing yourself to celebrities harming your life? Is it making you feel inadequate or miserable? Try making a list of ways that your life would be better without all this toxic envying.
- Would you feel better about yourself if you stopped feeling so much envy?
- Would you have more time for friends and fun activities without envy running your life?
5
Remember a time when you were envied. It can be helpful to consider the other side of the coin. Being envied is not always a fun position, because it can generate a lot of negativity towards you. The person who envies you may either idealize or demonize things about you, failing to see you for who you actually are.^{[11]
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Research source} Remembering how it feels to be envied can help you further realize the destructive nature of what you're doing.

Warnings

You may want to take a break from places where you see a lot of information about famous people in order to clear your head.

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If you're having serious problems with negatively comparing yourself to famous people and can't get control of it, try contacting a therapist close to you for help.

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