How to Spot a Fake Person: 11 Telltale Signs You Should Recognize

Co-authored by Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA and Janice Tieperman

Last Updated: February 3, 2022 References

There’s no getting around it—we all have days where we say something we regret. But what about the people who are constantly negative and self-centered? Also known as “fake people,” these individuals can be a constant drain on your emotional and mental wellbeing. Don’t worry. We’ve put together plenty of tips and tricks to help you pinpoint all the fake people in your life, so you can spend more time with your genuine friends.

1

They're quick to judge.

They won't hesitate to pass judgment and rarely give compliments. Fake people tend to manipulate and claw their way to the top by putting others down. Belittling the people around them bolsters their own sense of self and helps them feel less threatened by others.^{[1]
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- For example, a fake person might give a co-worker a back-handed compliment instead of saying something genuinely nice.
- They might make passive-aggressive comments about a colleague’s work performance, or make a judgmental remark about a friend’s outfit.

2

They’re rude and hurtful.

Fake people make harsh comments without a second thought. Friends may poke fun at each other once in a while, but their playful barbs will always be just that: playful. Check-in with yourself after spending some time with this individual—do they make you feel supported and uplifted, or treat you like you’re worthless?^{[2]
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Expert Source

Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA
Adult Counselor & Certified Hypnotherapist
Expert Interview. 29 April 2020.} If you always feel negative around this person, there’s a good chance they’re fake.^{[3]
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- A fake friend might say something like, “You aren’t good enough to make the soccer team” or “You shouldn’t bother applying to that school.” A lot of times, these hurtful remarks stem from jealousy.
- A fake person won’t give out compliments. Instead, they’ll look for ways to bring everyone else down.

3

They don’t really listen.

Your conversations will go in one ear and out the other. If someone’s really busy, they might not be able to give you their full attention. That’s okay—what isn’t okay is when a person never invests in or pays attention to what you have to say.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA
Adult Counselor & Certified Hypnotherapist
Expert Interview. 29 April 2020.} If your friend, co-worker, or acquaintance is just going through the motions of a conversation, they’re probably a fake person.^{[5]
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- For instance, a fake person might seem bored or zoned out when you talk about your plans for the night.
- If you tell a fake person that you’re going to a wedding over the weekend, they won’t bother asking you how it went.

4

They’re always trying to please others.

Fake people are desperate to be liked and noticed. Because of this, fake individuals will do everything under the sun to get a thumbs up or nod of approval from the people around them. In everyday conversations, fake people might adjust their opinions and statements instead of sticking to their beliefs.^{[6]
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- When talking about politics with a group of people, a fake person might change their opinion to match the majority.

5

They’re always surrounded by a clique.

Being around others gives fake people a sense of control. While part of a “clique,” fake individuals may spark outrage among their peers in order to boost their own social status. As the so-called leader of the group, fake people pressure others to support their opinions instead of offering feedback.^{[7]
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- For instance, a fake person will always try to be the center of attention during a conversation.

6

They spread rumors.

Fake people believe they’ll be more popular by putting others down. Pay attention to what this person does in their day-to-day life. Are they supportive and uplifting, or do they spend their time gossiping about other people? If they have nothing better to do than spread false rumors, they’re probably a fake person.^{[8]
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- A fake person might gossip about the least popular person in school, or spread false rumors to manipulate their friends.

7

They’re fickle friends.

Fake people won’t stick around through thick and thin. When you’re going through a rough patch, these individuals will hang you out to dry instead of being a kind, unconditional friend. Real friends will stay by your side through good and bad times, and won’t stick around only when it’s convenient for them.^{[9]
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- For example, if you get into a fight with your partner, a fake person won’t stick around to offer advice.
- A fake friend might be nice to your face, but then talk crap about you behind your back.

8

They aren’t consistent.

Inauthentic people find it difficult to focus on just one thing. Instead of being devoted to a single project, fake individuals will jump from idea to idea without putting much effort in. As they spread their schedule thinner and thinner, these people tend to miss important commitments. When called out on these inconsistencies, they’ll come up with excuses or pass the buck to the next person.^{[10]
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- A fake person might join a lot of clubs and extra-curricular activities but not put effort into any of them.
- They might also commit to too many projects at work, and miss lots of deadlines in the process.
- A fake friend might agree to hang out with you, and then cancel plans last minute.

9

They won’t give a real apology.

An insincere apology often makes you feel worse, not better. A fake person might try to minimize their actions or pass the blame instead of taking responsibility themselves.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA
Adult Counselor & Certified Hypnotherapist
Expert Interview. 29 April 2020.} They might even imply that they’ve already apologized, or look for ways to skirt around the consequences of their actions.^{[12]
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- For instance, they could say “I was just trying to help” or “I’m sorry, but I think you’re overreacting.”
- They might say something sarcastic or cynical instead of offering a real apology.

10

They can’t handle criticism.

Fake people tend to get offended by constructive feedback. Think about times when a friend, co-worker, or acquaintance was given feedback. Did they take the comments in stride, or did they make a big fuss? In many cases, fake people can’t handle being told that they did something wrong.^{[13]
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- For example, if a co-worker makes a mistake in their project, they might deny doing anything wrong.
- If you critique a friend’s artwork, they might say something like “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

11

They’re scared of failure.

Genuine people can accept the possibility of failure. These individuals use their failures as a springboard for future improvement; a fake person usually gives up once something goes wrong. Unfortunately, fake people aren’t so accepting of their faults, and feel so nervous about the possibility of failure that they never try anything new.^{[14]
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- A fake person might sign up for low-level classes instead of taking more challenging courses.
- A genuine person will look for opportunities to advance their career, while a fake person might be content staying where they are.

Community Q&A

Question

If I'm scared of failure, but try my hardest to just be my weird and kind self, am I fake or real?

Nico

Top Answerer

You're real. Anyone who truly wishes to be kind, and is kind to others, is a good person. Also, since you're being yourself, you actually can't be fake! Lots of people are scared of failure. This doesn't make you "fake," though.